Will try to be concise and not waffle but really need an independent view on this.
My mum looks after my DS one day a week. A few months ago her husband (my stepdad) did a job at our house (it's his line of business etc) and I phoned to say thanks that night - he was out but I spoke to Mum. Mum forgot I phoned - this is crucial!
Anyway, tried next day twice but no answer. I didn;t leave a message as wanted to actually speak to him to say thanks.
Next day was saturday and busy all day so didn't call. they are usually out on sat's anyway.
Was going to ring on Sunday morning, but mum beat me to it and phoned and said he was upset about me not phoning to say thanks (remember mum forgot my original call). Anyway, to cut a long story short, he then put phone down on me, I went round to try and resolve this and had huge row. my view is that I tried to phone, and he is being totally unreasonable and incredibly childish about it. he just will not listen when you try to speak calmly.
So, not spoken to him but still seeing mum. They have had a few issues together which are now resolved and so mum is coming round tonight to 'catch up' with me. I think she wants us to make up. I am happy to accept an apology from him but that is it, my DH is still furious that step dad is only apologising now situation between him and my mum is resolved. his view is that if he was actually sorry he'd have come round weeks ago.
My real issue here is that throughout this mess, myself and DH told my mum that we didn't want our DS round at their house as we didnlt want DS anywhere near stepdad (because of unreasonableness etc). Mum accepted this and came to us instead to look after DS.
My concern is that DH (and me to a certain extent) still doesn't wnat DS to be round there. His view is that stepdad is idiot etc and as DH wont go round again (he isn;t accepting the apology) , therefore why should DS be round there.
I am worried that mum will come tonight, say that stepdad is sorry and wants to apologise and then everything will be back to normal. AIBU to say still don;t wnat DS to go there? this will make things difficult for my mum but I need to support Dh -there is no way i can say I'm taking DS round if he says no, as I wouldn't let him if situation was reversed.
hope this makes sense not sure true situation has come out very well in my typing but could really do with some impartial MN advice.
thanks
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AIBU?
family argument - advice needed please
26 replies
sadbagpuss · 12/08/2008 13:23
OP posts:
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