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to think my ex should have limited say on choosing baby's name

(21 Posts)
sleepyoldbagpuss Sun 10-Aug-08 20:51:58

ex left months ago; he supports me very well financially but doesn't see our four children very often (sometimes as little as
2 or 3 times a month) or offer any practical help.
I am also pregnant and he has shown a surprising enthusiasm for helping choose the baby's name. I don't think he should have much of a say.
What do you think, AIBU?

fuzzywuzzy Sun 10-Aug-08 20:54:06

don't let it bother you, let him have his say and then name your baby whatever you want.

KatieMorag Sun 10-Aug-08 20:56:03

i agree with fuzzywuzzy smile

hughjarssss Sun 10-Aug-08 20:56:29

So do I

lou031205 Sun 10-Aug-08 20:56:30

Is he the father? In that case I think he has a right to help with suggestions. Ultimately the decision will be yours, I suppose.

2luvlyboys Sun 10-Aug-08 20:58:21

YANBU! Agree with all the above!

random Sun 10-Aug-08 20:59:54

yep listen nod and agree .. then ignore him and choose what you wantgrin

SammyK Sun 10-Aug-08 21:00:25

I agree nod along 'oh yes maybe' - you never know - he might suggest one you like or that is on your list too.

At the end of the day it is your decision, but nothing wrong with him making suggestions.

Sorry he is crappy with contact with your dcs. sad

KatieMorag Sun 10-Aug-08 21:02:52

i disagree lou. i think a man who leaves him pregnant wife and their four children and sees them less than once a week does not have the right to be involved in naming the baby shock

twoboots Sun 10-Aug-08 21:03:41

could use it aas a middle name?

littleducks Sun 10-Aug-08 21:08:24

I think it would be diplomatic to listen and nod to his suggestions, try not to pick a name he absolutely hates but otherwise tis your call

sleepyoldbagpuss Sun 10-Aug-08 21:13:24

Thank you,I did wonder if the decision should really be partially his (we are still married, for what that's worth).
He's supposed to see them for a few hours on sat/sun plus one weekday evening. He rarely makes the weekday and will often cancel at the last minute. He's also been on holiday abroad and is going away again soon - yet our family holiday has been cancelled.
Sorry, I'm going off topic and descending into rant. I just don't see why he should have a say in naming a baby he is unlikely to care much about or see very often.
He keeps sending me lists of possibilities via email too.

gastronaught Sun 10-Aug-08 21:17:07

when I was pregnant with dd, dp and I split up, I had a list of 6 names for dd's first name, with an immovable middle name (Ruth, as both of my nanna's had Ruth for a middle name) he (and the rest of my family) hated all of my first name choices, in fact the only name that everyone liked was the one he chose, which was after his nanna!

ladymariner Sun 10-Aug-08 21:22:55

Just nod then do as you like grin

jillybea Sun 10-Aug-08 23:09:10

yab a bit u

He is still the baby's father and is showing an interest after all. You should at least consult him.

ThatBigGermanPrison Sun 10-Aug-08 23:12:24

I think his behavior is fucking disgusting. Are we living in a parallel universe where men are to be treated as feeble minded, weak willed little boys, to be petted indulgently and let off every hook they impale themselves upon?

the man is behaving like a complete twat. Email him back and ask him to show a proper interest in the children he already has before sticking his oar in with a child he probably won't bother trying to raise.

dittany Sun 10-Aug-08 23:12:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieDD Sun 10-Aug-08 23:20:25

Is it his sorry way of trying to be involved ? Must be a dfificult situation.

loisstella Sun 10-Aug-08 23:32:07

Does it matter if he's current or ex? You carry the baby for nine months + you give birth = you choose name
that's my rule!

KatieDD Sun 10-Aug-08 23:45:58

Does it matter if he's current or ex? You carry the baby for nine months + you give birth = you choose name
that's my rule!

hmm Not entirely sure that's how it works for people
But I like it ;)

breadbasket Mon 11-Aug-08 00:07:39

YANBU naming the baby is one of the fun parts of pregnancy. doesn't sound like he has supported you with real help.
I would tell him to b*gger off personallyangry.

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