to leave me kids to sleep where they drop because they just WILL NOT STAY IN THEIR ROOM?

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

They are 2 and 5, still up. I have walked up those stairs so many times, I am physically exhausted. Honest it must have been at least 100 times. I have cried. I have shouted. I have had enough. Ds2 is too young to threaten(not that I haven't tried), it's not fair to let him stay up and not Ds1.

What would you do?

Because right now, they are pottering around in the front room, chatting away and playing with toys. And I just want to go to bed. But If I put them to bed, and they won't stay there, I will just be even angrier than I am now.

[MadameOvary]

You need a time out. Would ten minutes by yourself be enough to calm down a bit? They are not going anywhere.

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

I can't, I can't go out and leave them. What do you mean time out? I am kind of timed out here on Mumsnet - but really (and it pains me to say this) I have given up.

[JonahTakalua]

Do whatever you need to do to ensure everyone gets some sleep tonight.

Tomorrow - have a good think about some strategies you can employ to ensure a smooth bedtime, and start putting them into action.

You may need to firm up boundaries and put a very firm routine in place for a while.

[broccolispears]

A baby-gate on the bedroom door?

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

Nah, it would be opened in milliseconds by one or the other.

I think a redefining of boundaries is needed, but it's scrabbling together the energy. The little sods boys work in shifts, this is one of the rare occasions when they are both awake.

I would try switching all the lifghts off and putting all the toys away but I know from experience that they find this thrilling and hilarious. I am lucky to have little sods boys who find most things thrilling and hilarious, but right now I am finding them tiresome and irritating.

[tori32]

Get a lock on the door on the outside. Unlock it as soon as they go to sleep. Tell the older one it will be locked but will be unlocked when he goes to sleep to use the toilet or put a potty in the room. Tell him if he wants to act like a baby and not go to bed when told he will be treated like one. Do this until they get in the habit of going straight to bed.
You could try the return to bed technique i.e no communication after the first return, just take them and put them in. Persevere as it could take a good week to work aqnd hundreds of returns but it will eventually.
Are they in the same room? Blackout blinds?
We have a lamp on a timer that we turn off with a remote control without opening the door.
If they know they get to you they will do it more. The best way is to give no dialogue at all- stay mute.

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

They've demolished the sofa.

You know, I am usually Strict Mother. They have sensed my weakness, like a pair of bloody jackels, and have pounced on it.

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

No, it's not me they're after. They play with each other, they share a room though necessity. I am having nothing to do with them at the moment.

I am actually quite interested to see what happens if I don't make them go to bed.

[lisad123]

go and stand in the garden with a cuppa, or wine. calm down. Could you take them inot your bed tonight?

[TeeBee]

Okay, maybe just try and enjoy their company then and worry about boundaries and strategies tomorrow. Nice quiet story with the light off - in bed. Take it in turns to sing each other lullabies?

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

No, god no, no and thrice no. My bed is sacred.

I am demolishing Fruit Shorties and Horlicks as we speak. I have actually calmed down now - I don't stay angry for long, maybe that's why I can't deal with their protracted campaigns.

[MadameOvary]

Sorry, got distracted. I did mean removing yourself from the situation till you felt stronger/calmer.

[TeeBee]

Ooh, pass a shortie, I love them. Want me to sing them a lullaby? My singing is dull they will be off in a minute.

[Milkysallgone]

What would they do if you just 'went off to bed'?

[oops]

Message withdrawn

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

Well, ds1 gave up nearly an hour ago, and went to bed (he is quite reasonable about his own needs, and always had been.)

Ds2 .... well, I went and switched all the lights off, sid "let's go0 to bed, Mummy's going to bed, Ds2 going to bed, come on, night night" etc etc.

He sat in the middle of the living room floor screaming.

he is currently getting nil attention, no tv, no interesting toys, dummy has been put in the cot ... he still won't go to bed (I couldn't leave him screaming in the dark, but it this why he walks all over me? Am I a soft touch?)

I couldn't lock their bedroom door. I'm a lone parent and if I dropped dead while they were locked in .... it doesn't bear thinking about.

[controlfreakyagain]

tori, how would it feel to be that young and locked in your room?? please dont do that bgf.

[TeeBee]

Is your DS1 called TrollyWolly? It would explain a lot!

[UniversallyChallenged]

TBGP - I have exactly that same problem. Ds1 usually is up till 10 even though i wear him out all day - swimming/park/ball pool/ then warm relaxing bath /stories etc some kids just wont go to sleep.
Thought he was asleep last night at about 9.30pm till i heard an almighty crash and he had pulled his sisters chest of drawers over whilst creeping into their room to look out of the window.

Drives me mad too, am just hoping school wears him out.

Empathetic hugs tho xx

[Tortington]

oooooooooooooooooh TOYS HOW EXCITING , so much better than bed - bed is pants.

why is it unfair to let one stay up and not the other?

please don't be under any illusion that kids get treated the same - they don't they require different things.

younger children go to sleep first.

routine makes kids sleep. boredom makes kids sleep.

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

I let ds2 fall asleep in my be4d (after a great deal of persuasion to get him up the blasted stairs!) then shifted him to his own.

Both were up at 8. How are they not exhausted? How?

[Ripeberry]

My girls aged 3 and 6yrs old, share a bedroom and once they go to bed at 9pm they will play until 10pm in their room.
My secret is a toy dalek we keep at the foot of the stairs so they dare not come down!
We do have to keep going upstairs to tell them to keep the noise down as our neighbours have to get up at 5am.
But next week we are visiting some friends and will be staying at their house.
I think they will be in for a shock as their little girl goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps straight away.
We are going to wreck their bedtime routine good and proper .

[ViolentFemme]

Oh colditz I know my boys are going to the same as yours and I'm not even pregnant with the second yet.



Well done at getting through it.

Ripeberry - love the toy dalek idea!

[bergentulip]

I think it's quite a good thing to just ignore, ignore, ignore, don't speak to them etc... so YANBU.

With the lighter evenings my DS1 (3) has been far too active to want to sleep. He thankfully does not come downstairs, but messes about playing, and getting toys out etc...

I started taking things away, going up every five minutes, putting him back, taking more toys away with me.... he still finds something to do though.

In the last few weeks, I have found him asleep in our bed, under our bed, in a doorway, under his drawing table,..... you get the picture(!)

I've noticed that my own little cherub(!) is getting bored quicker and quicker, and the last two nights he's only messed about for about 20mins, so asleep by 7.45 or so

[TheProvincialLady]

Oh dear, what a night. If it makes you feel any better, you weren't alone. DS was wide awake and running round at exactly the same time. I predict early bed and heavy sleep tonight (Tis NUT here by the way, don't know if I mentioned my name change).