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To want to kick DP square in the nuts for being such a selfish twat!!!

(63 Posts)
mamadiva Fri 08-Aug-08 11:09:51

ARGH! I'm so sick of DP am actually considering telling him to piss off! We have been together 7 years and have a 2YO DS. DP is 23 and is such an immature seflish prat! I work part time only earning about £380 a month and DP works full time and only earns about £200 a week after tax. Working tax credits go into his bank and he refuses to buy bread or milk or anything with it as he's saving it up apparnetly, last night he refused to buy bread even though I have no money at all this week so will have to go without until later on. He saves the tax credits (for going to the footbakll with his mates) which I have only just found out he also takes £30 a week out of his wages before giving thme to me. Even though we are trying to pay off debts and I just can't afford for him to do it but whenever I say anything he just starts telling me to f**k off and shut the f**k up blah de blah. We end up in a huge argument about it, last night he was going to the garage to get fags I asked him to get milk and bread he said no he only had £2.50 for fags as he isnt touching the ither money, when I told him that was out of order he just stuck his finger up at me right in my face told me too fuck off and shut the door behind him. Sorry for ranting but am fuming the more Im thinking about it.

theinsider Fri 08-Aug-08 11:12:14

I think you should kick DP square in the nuts, as you ask.

What an idiot. No wonder you're fuming.

On a practical note, can you get tax credits paid into your account?

ImnotOK Fri 08-Aug-08 11:15:33

Kick him then kick him again from me .
Sounds like my little sisters BF a complete tosser who wanted her to survive and buy everything of the 18.00 child benefit she got a week ,including nappies hmm.
He paid the rent that was it

beanieb Fri 08-Aug-08 11:16:50

Get them paid into your account.

mamadiva Fri 08-Aug-08 11:17:11

The working atx credits go into his account and for some reason they wont let me change it. It's annoying me soo much.

Other than the money problems we are great IYKWIM but I am getting to the stage if he's that selfish then why the hell should I put up with it after all money isn't everything but it is a big part of things especially when I have no money because am putting it into overdraft which he knows and he takesabout £45 a week.

IAmNotHere Fri 08-Aug-08 11:18:12

What are the benefits of being in a relationship with this man?

ninedragons Fri 08-Aug-08 11:18:21

WTF are you with a tosser like that?

He sounds like he has ZERO redeeming features.

kitsmummy Fri 08-Aug-08 11:18:55

He sounds absolutely vile, why not leave him? Seriously, does he have any redeeming points whatsoever, does the word "family" mean anything to him? Surely if you left you'd actually be better off too?

LadyOfWaffle Fri 08-Aug-08 11:18:58

Can I kick him for you? You are both entitled to the working tax credits as you both work (I assume anyway). Do you get child tax credits also? And child benefit? I assume you are the primary carer - make sure you get these into your account. What a wank stain, sorry. Take something of his and pawn it for some food.

Baffy Fri 08-Aug-08 11:19:12


I'd seriously be thinking of leaving him too.

First and foremost though, can't you arrange for the tax credits to go into your account? Or at least set up a joint account so you both have access?

How do you know if he really is saving it?

And why would he be saving if you have debts? Surely better to get the debt paid off first as you'll be incurring higher interest on that than you'll earn on the savings.

VinegarTits Fri 08-Aug-08 11:20:34

What a complete toss pot, kick him in the nuts, then kick him out, he will soon buck his ideas up when he has to find a place to live and pay maintenance to you.

mamadiva Fri 08-Aug-08 11:22:46

Okay I may have put it over dramaticcally not sure. Must read again...

Ahh right he gives me £170 every week so we manage with food and things like that just struggling to pay off £1500 debts (overdraft, loan and catalogues blush) not struggling on anything basic.

Think I'll pawn his xbox 360... anybody wnat it? with about 50 games?

VictorianSqualor Fri 08-Aug-08 11:24:14

Why won't they let you change it?
WTC ca go into the account of whoever is working, if that is both of you then they can go into your account. CTC is paid to the main child carer.

I have two answers to this.

How on earth does he expect you to live on £380 a month?


He gives you £170 a week after he has taken the £30 out, plus your £380 a month is £1060 a month, so it's not unreasonable to expect you to have enough money to buy bread and milk, are you bad with money? How much is the WTC? Do you spend on yourself each month?

And on a totally different note, why on earth are you with a guy that speaks to you like that?

IAmNotHere Fri 08-Aug-08 11:25:36

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who regularly would have his wife and child go without because he needs fags. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who gives me the finger, right in my face, and tells me to fuck off. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who tells me shut the fuck up when trying to discuss paying off our debts.

Sell the Xbox.

VinegarTits Fri 08-Aug-08 11:26:44

Seriously, his behaviour, putting his finger up to you and telling you to fuckoff! is way way out of order and damn right disrespectul, i hope he doesnt talk to you like this in front of your dc. He needs to grow up

RusselBrussel Fri 08-Aug-08 11:27:37

Never mind the money issue (which is crap), what about the sticking his finger up at you adn saying F Off several times??

If my dh spoke to me like that he would get a kick in the goolies for sure.

That is a serious lack of respect, and needs to be rectified, honestly.

jelliebelly Fri 08-Aug-08 11:27:53

regardless of the financial situation why on earth would you want to stay with somebody who talks to you like that?

RusselBrussel Fri 08-Aug-08 11:28:13

cross-post with vinegartits! great minds think alike smile

RusselBrussel Fri 08-Aug-08 11:29:01

Never mind sell the x-box, time for some serious talks.
Has he always behaved like this or is this a recent development?

mamadiva Fri 08-Aug-08 11:34:29

VS I'm not actually that bad with money it was just a bad patch we had in February hence why I'm back at work and am still trying to sort it. I get paid on Thursday so money is long gone as soon as my wages go in they pay rent, loan, broadband and tv licence the next day so...

I knwo it's no excuse at all but we do come from a rough area and his family are a bunch of mannerless, mindless morons who think its fine to go around swearing at people etc which isn't unusual where we come from although my family have a bit of common bloody decency!!! He has calmed down with the swearing as I wont put up with it around DS so he's stopped that as soona s DS was born basically but when he gts annoyed or has to face up to adult prob;lems he starts with the swearing and crappy immature attitude. He might aswell put his fingers in his ears and start shouting lalalalalala

mamadiva Fri 08-Aug-08 11:36:19

Always. He's never been violent or anything like that and he wouldn't. Normally we get on great but when you try and talk to him it's like he shuts down he's always been like that too.

duomonstermum Fri 08-Aug-08 11:39:06

you can ask to change the account TC gets paid into. i changed WTC from DH's account to mine and it wasn't a problem.

VictorianSqualor Fri 08-Aug-08 11:39:09

So you pay everything?
Absolutely everything?
Then you should surely have all the money?
I get CTC and I pay for the shopping, the council tax and the TV licence, DP pays everything else, but if I needed/wanted money and I didn't have any left he'd give me it without a second thought, it's our money, just in his account iyswim.

I'd second the joint account but be a bit worried he might send it how he saw fit tbh. Have you called tax credits to try getting it changed or has he said you can't have it?

ihatebikerides Fri 08-Aug-08 11:39:57

So, how come you "won't put up with" him swearing around DS, but you will allow him to swear at you?

Bumdiddley Fri 08-Aug-08 11:40:56

Still, mamadiva he tells you to f*ck off and shut up??

Get back onto tax credit people until they get the money in your account.

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