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I KNOW I'm not, but I think they are.

(116 Posts)
HotToddyRumPunch Tue 05-Aug-08 20:55:31

MIL is in a rest home. Nice little place, quite impressed so far. But they have a cat, and I don't like it going into her room. I think it's unhygenic to have cat hair about the place, with delicate lungs and general elderly ill-health. I've asked them to keep it out of there or get rid of it. They have refused.

smurfgirl Tue 05-Aug-08 20:56:19

I don't think a cat would make a difference actually.

Katisha Tue 05-Aug-08 20:57:17

How does she feel about it?
Personally I'd be gasping for breath as am allergic to the things...

themildmanneredjanitor Tue 05-Aug-08 20:57:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 Tue 05-Aug-08 20:57:31

what does your MIL think to cats? Is she allergic to cats? Was the cat at the home when you checked the place over? Or did they get the cat after your MIL went to live at the home?

JodieG1 Tue 05-Aug-08 20:57:32

Why would them having a cat matter unless allergies were involved?

objectivity Tue 05-Aug-08 20:57:49

YABU.Pets are therapeutic. You are being a leetle melodramatic I think. What's so unhygienic about cat hair?

Many an old lady has lived with a catand not died, specifically,of cat hair poisoning or even death by choking on cat hair.

tweeni Tue 05-Aug-08 20:58:03

if MIL doesn't want the cat in her room YANBU.

posieflump Tue 05-Aug-08 20:58:09

Surely it's up to her not you?

AddictedToMyEarplugs Tue 05-Aug-08 20:58:12

What does MIL think? If she likes the cat then keep out of it. Some oldies love petting cats, keeps them company.

I think YABU to ask them to get rid of it.

themildmanneredjanitor Tue 05-Aug-08 20:58:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArmadillo Tue 05-Aug-08 21:00:10

is she allergic to cats or have a particular condition that makes it difficult for her to be around them?

Did whoever chose the home know there was a cat?

What does your MIL think of the cat?

I think animals (usually cats and dogs) have proved of great benefit emotionally to those in care homes. IF all the other residents enjoy having it I think it is a bit much to ask them to get rid cos you don't like it - you haven't even said that your MIL has a problem with it. I doubt there would be any great risk to health else they wouldn't be allowed one.

Cat faeces yes, but not general cat fluff. How many elderly have animals? Doesn't seem to bother them.

TBH I think YABVU.

HotToddyRumPunch Tue 05-Aug-08 21:04:42

It licks it's backside on her bed. Dreadful thing. She loves it, but she's always picked up waifs and strays.

BabieWabbit Tue 05-Aug-08 21:05:54

Well, there you go..She loves the cat.

HotToddyRumPunch Tue 05-Aug-08 21:06:07

No, there wasn't any information in the literature about a cat.

tweeni Tue 05-Aug-08 21:06:13

If she doesn't mind YABU.

tweeni Tue 05-Aug-08 21:06:43

btw why have you namechanged for this?

TheArmadillo Tue 05-Aug-08 21:07:41

you are being really unreasonable then.

She likes it, I'm guessing the other residents like it and so do the owners.

Tbh you are coming across as really arrogant. Other people's wishes don't seem to matter in this to you, even your MILs.

Plenty of people own cats, including the elderly and they're not all dropping dead from it.

themildmanneredjanitor Tue 05-Aug-08 21:07:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotToddyRumPunch Tue 05-Aug-08 21:07:55

yes, she also loves the man in the room opposite who collects interesting pebbles, but I still wouldn't be happy if he was licking his bum on her bed.

themildmanneredjanitor Tue 05-Aug-08 21:09:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2shoes Tue 05-Aug-08 21:10:33

if she loves it what is the problem. I should imagine in her sterile world, stroking a cat would be very comforting.

TheArmadillo Tue 05-Aug-08 21:10:36

tough shit

not your choice

Because an elderly man is of course comparable to a cat.

If your MIL is enjoying her rest home (and lets face it not all have such a nice time) then why do you want to rock the boat and make things a problem for her? Surely it is up to her to decide if she has a problem. It isn't about you.

objectivity Tue 05-Aug-08 21:11:29

She might be happy with that though. Or has age taken away her libido entirely - as well as her free will - and thus rendered her unable to enjoy and behold the sight of pebble man licking his bum on her bed?

If she likes it, then whether it is arse licking cat or arse waving pebble collector it is not your concern really unless she is being manipulated or abused in either situation.

nell12 Tue 05-Aug-08 21:11:42

Your MIL is in a rest home; I am sure it is the best place for her and the place where she can feel cared for and be looked after by qualified professionals.

But TBH a rest home is not her own home, and at times that may feel unsettling or even a little bit sad.

If the cat makes her happy, then why is it an issue? It probably enhances the lives of many of the residents and would not be there if the local authority thought it was in any way unhygienic.

Try looking at the bigger picture, your MIL's health is based as much on her happiness as anything else.

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