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to think that this was a bit unfair on dd

(10 Posts)
2shoes Tue 05-Aug-08 10:41:03

my darling dad has sent a cheque for our hols
lovely of him and I am very grateful.
but can't help being a bit annoyed.
he writes down what it is for so.
£ for 2shoes and mr 2shoes
£ 25 for dd and then........
£50 for ds as he is older.
no biggie as dd has sn so not brill with none the wiser and I can top it up.

but why do they do this, ok she has cp and is severley disabled but.....
and I know they prbally just want to make it up to ds

ds is 16 and dd 13

edam Tue 05-Aug-08 10:42:05

He'll never know how you actually divvy the money up, though, will he? But yes, I can see it is very irritating and you want him to treat them both equally.

TheHedgeWitch Tue 05-Aug-08 10:44:13

Message withdrawn

DustyTV Tue 05-Aug-08 10:44:27

YANBU, sometimes I think that grandparents get stuck in their own way of thinking that they cant see that they are being (If ever so slightly) unreasonable.

Or maybe not unreasonable in that sense, but I know where you are coming from.

Where are you going on your hols? anywhere nice?

chapstickchick Tue 05-Aug-08 10:46:00

i dont think it was done intentionally to be cruel (nor do u ,i know) i wonder if your dad is from the generation that s.n people were treated as infants all their life and he actually thinks hes the one being liberal giving her a cash allowance too?

2shoes Tue 05-Aug-08 10:46:23

warminster. dad is 80 and has been very genrous, so will not be funny with him as I am a daddys girL

findtheriver Tue 05-Aug-08 10:53:09

I think some people, maybe particularly the older generation, see age as a more heirarchical thing so it made sense in his mind to give more money to the older child. I wouldnt read any more into it than that, and as someone else said, surely you can re-distribute the money anyway!
I think I would just be grateful that a parent gave me spending money for my hols!!

bubblagirl Tue 05-Aug-08 11:02:40

my nan always gave the older children in our family more money and in all honesty that never bothered me as a child as the older you are the more you want

yonger children often get treated more by there family also as older are expected to save pocket money

i wouldnt be hurt at all its the generosity and the thought that countsd my nan still believes younger children dont need as much and stil does this no one cares there more than grateful

2shoes Tue 05-Aug-08 12:22:28

thanks tbh I knew I was being a bit unreasonable. I think they think that dd gets more of our time, so give ds more money.
funny thing is dd hates spending her money so I have to pretend we are spending mine

Emily23 Tue 05-Aug-08 12:27:06

I have an Aunty Peggy who always gave me, sis and bro different amounts of money/vouchers - for varying reasons! Mainly due to age, also if you had had exams, sometimes no reason! As soon as bro got a job at 18 or whatever, presents stopped completely "as he's earning now!" Bless, we all love her.

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