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to think mum could do better than to lie and say it's a wrong number when called to fix a playdate?

(27 Posts)
nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 10:35:39

This is not earth shattering stuff, but am venting. My dd1 has a friend from nursery she's very fond of, who lives just yards from us, who she's always begging to play with
Owing to me working four days a week I'm a bit rubbish at organising playdates but finally sorted out one when we went for lunch at friend's house. It all seemed to go fine, wasn't the most thrilling afternoon of my life but made polite small talk with the mother whom I already know from various nursery events and have always got on - I thought - fine with
Anyway, left, said thanks let's do it again soon. A couple of weeks ago I left a message saying would you be up for a day trip during the holidays. No reply. I know they're not only holiday as have seen them in the distance round and about. But fine. But today, my nanny - desperate to organise something in the rain - called up. She said "Is that Mrs X?" The woman said "yes", When she said "It's dd's nanny" the woman said "Sorry, you've got the wrong number" [hmmm]
Obviously, her dd does not want to play with my dd, or else she doesn't like us as a family. Fine, it happens. But I think it's silly and rude to do that when it so obviously wasn't a wrong number. Why didn't she just say sorry, we're busy. Our dds will be at nursery together for another two years so we are going to carry on bumping in to each other for a long time and I don't know what to say next time we come face to face - "oh, did you get my message, our nanny tried to call you". Feel like doing that to embarrass her, but should probably just leave it.
Anyway, v petty in the scheme of things and more amused than angry but just wanted to let off steam

PheasantPlucker Tue 05-Aug-08 10:43:10

How very odd..... Strange lady!

cornsilk Tue 05-Aug-08 10:44:11

How rude.

newforold Tue 05-Aug-08 10:44:40

Or on the other hand she could be a bit like me, crap with names and genuinely thought it was a wrong number....

VictorianSqualor Tue 05-Aug-08 10:47:28

newforold she asked the lady's name first....

tiggerlovestobounce Tue 05-Aug-08 10:49:09

Was she confused by the word nanny being used in a context she wasnt expecting?
Maybe she thought that the nanny was claiming to be the grandmother of the child named and got all confused about it?
TBH its something I could see myself doing blush

nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 10:50:04

Glad you think it's odd and rude
So what do I do next time I see her? A bit of me tempted to call her now and say ahem, just to embarrass her but am too chicken for that blush

nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 10:51:42

tigger, good explanation but
no, where I live it's nannytastic, she knows we have a nanny (once suggested getting together with her) so it wouldn't be that smile

LynetteScavo Tue 05-Aug-08 10:51:50

I would send your nanny around to knock on the door (grin) - ( I know it's mean on the nanny)

She sounds like one very odd woman.

Bumdiddley Tue 05-Aug-08 10:52:36

Well maybe she would dislike sitting around making small talk with your dd's nanny even less than she likes talking to you. smile

I think she made a snap decision but couldn't come up with anything more credible.

LynetteScavo Tue 05-Aug-08 10:53:00

Maybe she didnt' want to spend the day with your nanny?

Sometimes nannys andnmummys dont' mix very well. hmm

CaptFabioHiltsCatInTheCooler Tue 05-Aug-08 10:54:00

How old are these children?
You/she could always drop and run.

tiggerlovestobounce Tue 05-Aug-08 10:54:14

Oh OK, youre right, my explanation doesnt sound too plausible then.
Where I live nanny means granny. I dont know anyone who uses a nanny.

nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 10:56:15

Yes, obviously she doesn't want to spend time with either me or my nanny. Fair enough, though she did suggest it herself in the past
My point is - do I spend the next two years blanking her at the school gates since she's so clearly desperate to have nothing to do with us grin Don't know how to respond to such rude treatment. Meanwhile poor dd1 keeps asking when she'll see her friend sad

Bumdiddley Tue 05-Aug-08 11:02:14

You said in your post her dd doesn't want to play with yours and you don't really get on with the mother.

Your dd will find other friends. Say hello politely at the gates. She knows that you know, you know?

PuppyMonkey Tue 05-Aug-08 11:05:42

Maybe your nanny DID dial a wrong number... and got some random woman who didn't have a clue who she was? Just a thought...

BTW - I so agree with you about wire hangers grin

nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 11:09:02

Puppy have you seen "mommy dearest"?
That's where it comes from, though I too believe it whole heartedly smile
No, it wasn't a wrong number my nanny said "Is that Mrs X?" and she said "Yes"
before backtracking (dumb, because my nanny could have just called straight back and it could have gone on all day but she got the message and knew she wasn't wanted)

PuppyMonkey Tue 05-Aug-08 11:18:23

Oh yes, I remember that film now!

Re the silly woman, I'd leave it now. And if you bump into her, bring up the incident so she is v.embarrassed. grin

nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 11:21:11

nah, how would I bring it up? "So why did you pretend it was a wrong number when it wasn't etc?"
Think bumdiddley is right, will just be polite and cool so she knows I know
It's annoying though because it's a small nursery there are loads of social events and now I feel everyone hates me and dd1 - paranoid emoticon

PuppyMonkey Tue 05-Aug-08 11:26:55

Well, you could also bring it up in a way where you could be implying you think your nanny might have got it a bit wrong.. just to be more polite...

Eg: "Oh, I meant to say. My nanny mentioned she'd tried to call you, but was told she must have a wrong number. She gets things messed up sometimes though. Can you remember her trying to call.."

Oh I dunno...

Don't worry, some people are just odd. I'm sure you'll get chatting to some normal mums soon!!
smile

TenaciousG Tue 05-Aug-08 11:27:23

>>nah, how would I bring it up? "So why did you pretend it was a wrong number when it wasn't etc?"

"Oh Mrs X, it's the strangest thing, there's another Mrs X and her phone number is one digit different from yours, what are the chances?" grin I think she sounds odd.

Am sad for your dd, and dreading being where you are cos I am the misfit social leper at mum and toddler groups now, and am so dreading my own outsiderishness impacting on my lovely sunny little dd's social life (not implying that you are a social misfit or gauche or whatever btw, just saying I am is all).

nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 11:39:02

LOl Tenacious at a) being gauche and a misfit, I'm sure I'm both those things winkAnd I am finding my dd1's budding social life surprisingly emotional, all the politics of how she gets on with other children and how I get on with the mums is a big stress I did not expect to encounter at my advanced age!
and b) to your suggestion of what to say, that's a good one grin, though not sure I'd have the nerve. My nanny - who is a bit shaken - just showed me her phone and the last number redialled is definitely her number

nowirehangers Tue 05-Aug-08 11:39:47

sorry tenacious mean lol at implication I am gauche and misfit, not at you saying you are (sure you're not btw) x

Sonnet Tue 05-Aug-08 12:02:38

What a horrid thing to happen sad

I would be "polite & cool" at Nursery. Keep on telling your DD that she will see friend x at Nursery....

Make an effort to chat to other mums , maybe arrange playdates ( althouigh I know how this can dent your confidence) - if you do chat with the others you will feel better about yourslf

nametaken Tue 05-Aug-08 12:09:50

To be honest I'd just come straight out and ask her something like

"oh, did you get a phone call from my nanny the other day - only she was worried she had dialed the wrong number"

and then see what she says. If she's rude again, fuck her. If she comes out with some excuse then I would try again, if only to keep the peace and save face. But I wouldn't try too hard.

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