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...there should be a new topic area for people feeling fragile/ needing a supportive ear?

(11 Posts)
cestlavie Mon 04-Aug-08 10:20:12


There seem to be an increasing amount of threads where the OP comes on in either AIBU, Chat or Relationships wanting people's opinion on something which they think or believe. But when other posters don't support them, or even have a go at them, they become upset/ distressed/ mortally offended at this.

Now personally, I think generally if someone puts up a post asking for other people's opinions, they should expect what they get, i.e. a combination of support and approbation, providing it obviously doesn't spill over into personal attacks or spiteful comments so my inate response would be "You asked for opinions - don't whinge because they don't all agree with yours."

On the other hand, it's clear that some OPs genuinely just need (for whatever reason) a supportive, friendly and non-judgemental ear even if they are being utterly unreasonable. What do you think?

NotQuiteCockney Mon 04-Aug-08 10:23:21

I think it's a nice idea, but I fear that people wouldn't stick to it. I think that if people need a supportive, friendly and non-judgemental ear, they should be looking to a more structured sort of help.

squilly Mon 04-Aug-08 19:28:30

I've always found the camping thread non-judgmental and supportive!

Califrau Mon 04-Aug-08 19:38:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shitehawk Mon 04-Aug-08 19:41:58

Me too, Cali.

zippitippitoes Mon 04-Aug-08 19:45:05

i think for good or ill the response you get is always going to be unpredictable but the best way to get support is to try and express your op in such a way that you get a sympathetic response

posting in aibu is rarely going to achieve that

zippitippitoes Mon 04-Aug-08 19:46:09

mners also sometimes believe in tough love

onepieceoflollipop Mon 04-Aug-08 19:51:32

zippi that is true imo - and also some people need a bit of "common sense" talked into them. I know that sounds harsh but sometimes "there there dear" to someone who isn't taking any responsibility (as is sometimes the case" isn't helpful to the poster or people responding.

noonki Mon 04-Aug-08 20:08:03

I think it is a good idea as it allows people to post things without being got at and sometimes we all need that!

tough love is well needed too... but then there would be space for both

JuneBugJen Mon 04-Aug-08 20:10:36


I am always horrified when someone comments how trivial the thread is, if the thread isn't trivial to that person!

Shitehawk Mon 04-Aug-08 21:13:35

If someone is feeling fragile, though, they simply have to say so and generally people are much kinder. They also have to think and be a little more selective where they post; every regular poster is well aware that AIBU is not the place to put your thread if all you want is gentle agreement.

If people are too fragile to take other poster's comments on board without getting distressed or mortally offended then NQC is dead right - they need a different kind of support, one that a website like this simply cannot give.

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