Advanced search wish my mum wouldn't call my DSs "mate"

(30 Posts)
MogTheForgetfulCat Sun 03-Aug-08 21:12:26

Hard for me to explain quite why this bugs me so much, but...

She calls my DSs (2.5 and 0.5) "mate". Not darling, sweetheart etc., but mate. I would not ordinarily think of her as the sort of person who says "mate" very much - she is a semi-retired professional person, not a man playing football or someone trying to cadge the change for a cup of tea (sorry, stretching a point to make a point here).

I suppose I think it smacks of indifference - it's not really an endearment is it? She is not a warm woman, and a lot of her interactions with her GCs seem rather dutiful - for example, she has my nephew every other Saturday and refers to the Saturdays she doesn't have him as "my day off" hmm.

It's not as if the DSs are going short - DH and I are both a bit gushy and effusive in that way, quite possibly to a barforamic extent blush. I suppose I just wish that she was more loving towards them? Even though she is not exactly unloving, iyswim.

Hmm, will stop now, not making sense even to myself.

Oh, and I clearly can't tell her - me and her have ishoos and a tricky relationship, and I don't want her to start calling them something nicer if she doesn't feel it. Just find it odd and a bit sad

BarcodeZebra Sun 03-Aug-08 21:16:13

My MIL calls me "chum". I kinda like it. You're lucky to have her. Don't knock it. Our in laws live 200 miles north and 400 miles south. We've had three nights out in three and a half years.

MegBusset Sun 03-Aug-08 21:17:23

DH and I call DS "mate", it certainly is an endearment to us!

NoBiggy Sun 03-Aug-08 21:18:30

I call my daughter mate. I don't consider myself indifferent.

I never call anyone darling unless I'm taking the pee, or Alastair has dropped by for a Vimto.

southeastastra Sun 03-Aug-08 21:19:32

my mil does this to my sons, she's from islington.

funnypeculiar Sun 03-Aug-08 21:21:54

I call ds mate (amoungst other things)
I quite like him.

I actually like the idea of giving a child a range of endearment 'types' ...

Snaf Sun 03-Aug-08 21:23:25

I call ds 'mate'. Of course it's an endearment - it doesn't have to be fluffy-wuffy bunnikins to be a loving expression, you know.

BarcodeZebra Sun 03-Aug-08 21:24:41

I occasional call DD1 "Wing Commander" (DW wouldn't conscience it as a name if she's been a boy.

TheHedgeWitch Sun 03-Aug-08 21:24:54

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BarcodeZebra Sun 03-Aug-08 21:25:26

It goes without saying, of course that DD2 is "Flight Lieutenant".

2luvlyboys Sun 03-Aug-08 21:27:13

Sorry I don't get it! What wrong with "mate"? hmm

Helsbels4 Sun 03-Aug-08 21:27:33

My dear mum used to call my DS "My little mate" when she was still here and I would love to hear her say it again. It's lovely. My DH now calls him mate or Buddy. Obviously don't know your other ishoos with her though, so maybe more to it?

cyteen Sun 03-Aug-08 21:29:03

If she's not naturally given to warm, effusive endearments, perhaps 'mate' is the highest and gushiest term of love she can offer right now?

cyteen Sun 03-Aug-08 21:29:33

You know, like a manly punch on the arm instead of a hug.

MuffinMclay Sun 03-Aug-08 21:31:16

I call ds1 'matey' as a term of endearment when he is doing something that he knows to be wrong but has a huge grin on his face and is being too cute to be properly cross with. Don't know why I say it, and never call anyone else 'mate', but it seems to fit at that time.

beanieb Sun 03-Aug-08 21:32:47

to be fair I can see why she might refer to the Saturday as her day off. As a semi-professional I am guessing she still works plus they are your children and her grandchildren and I am sure she loves them very much but can see you are loving parents and is perhaps just giving you space.

Onestonetogo Sun 03-Aug-08 21:40:51

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MogTheForgetfulCat Sun 03-Aug-08 21:45:08

Okey dokey, will stop bellyaching about it, then smile

I still find it a bit odd for such little children, but verdict unanimous - IABU. Sorry, mum!

louloulouise Mon 04-Aug-08 14:15:43

At least she doesn't call them;

Sweetness and light (wtf?!)
Babes (bleurgh)

Like my mil does to both DD and DS hmm

EssieW Mon 04-Aug-08 14:18:40

My FIL (and DH a bit as well) both call DS mate. I don't like it either - think it sounds weird. Nor can I explain my reasoning - though I think it has something to do with not letting a child be a child and mate to me is referring to an adult

So in my world, YANBU!

OrmIrian Mon 04-Aug-08 14:21:56

I call DS mate.

YABU but if it winds you up it winds you up!

barnsleybelle Mon 04-Aug-08 14:26:29

My husband calls ds mate and i do at times..

As long as its affectionate then surely it doesn't matter.

anotherdayyetanothernickname Mon 04-Aug-08 14:29:17

Slight digression but I called my ds age 3 mate the other day and he turned round and said 'don't call me mate, my name's not mate' in quite an indignant way and it made me smile a lot. V cute.

ipanemagirl Mon 04-Aug-08 14:29:52

LOL @ barforamic!!

snice Mon 04-Aug-08 14:41:03

At least she doesnt say -like my MIL - "give me a love" AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

Its a kiss/hug /cuddle NOT a 'love'. Drives me mad every time I hear it and makes me want to get quite violent.

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