Advanced search

To not want my friend to get a dog ??

(52 Posts)
IllegallyBrunette Sun 03-Aug-08 18:14:30

They have been and put down a deposit on a Springer Spaniel puppy, they collect him in 2 weeks time.

My friend works full time shifts and her hubby also works fulltime.

They are in serious debt but have paid over £300 for this puppy.

She has now started to drop hints about me popping in and letting the dog out, checking on it etc when they are at work. Or if I am not available asking her childminder to pop in.

Until this week I was supposed to be moving and my mate wasn't overly happy about it and I think this was one of the reasons why, along with the fact that I won't be here to be emergency childcare when her childminder lets her down (which happens often).

I told her today that I was no longer moving and she said she was pleased because she would of missed me hmm.

I would love to have a dog, and dd2 is absolutly desperate for one, but we don't have one because at the moment it is not practical so I certainly don't want to become responsible for looking after hers.

LuckySalem Sun 03-Aug-08 18:17:16

No NBU - They are not really in a good position to have a dog and definatly not a puppy if they are both working full time.

Poor puppy sad

Janos Sun 03-Aug-08 18:17:46


They sound very irresponsible - dogs, and puppies especially, are a lot of hard work, aside from the costs involved.

And you are certainly not obliged to be a dog sitter for them.

Moomin Sun 03-Aug-08 18:18:00

Well it's not up to you whether she gets a dog or not...

But you are completely within your rights to say 'no' to looking after the dog when they aren't in. If you make this clear from the outset, maybe it will make it clearer to her that she's actually not very well-equipped to look after a dog full-stop. And the childminder certainly isn't responsible for letting the dog out either; the clue's in her job title: childminder.

She sounds a bit of a cheeky cow really and she's obviously taken you for granted somewhat. Trying saying no from time to time, it will do you good.

ilovemydog Sun 03-Aug-08 18:18:44

If your friend does shifts, does this mean that she's at home for part of the day?

CaptFabioHiltsCatInTheCooler Sun 03-Aug-08 18:18:53

They should get a cat instead.

DustyTV Sun 03-Aug-08 18:19:11


If she asks you outright you will just have to tell her no, easier said than done I know.

How can they afford £300 if they are in debt?? That poor puppy is gonna be all on his own when they are at work.

Do you think they know how hard it is having a dog/pet? Or do they think it will be easy as they can leave the dog on it's own as and when they want to.

Gina80 Sun 03-Aug-08 18:19:37

You could be talking about someone I know.

It's VVVV Selfish angry

Poor dog

lulumama Sun 03-Aug-08 18:20:54

you have to be absolutely clear , before the dog is collected, that you WILL NOT be responsible for the dog when she is not there. if you let the dog out once, she will take it as read you will do it again and again.

she needs to make arrangements for the dog

AlistairSim Sun 03-Aug-08 18:23:55

They must be nuts.

Springer Spaniels are nuts unless they are very well-trained and have lots to keep them occupied. They are working dogs ffs.

DustyTV Sun 03-Aug-08 18:23:56

She will have to get a dog walker/sitter. Google one local to you and pass her the info if she asks you to take responsibility for the dog while they are working/away.

scottishmum007 Sun 03-Aug-08 18:30:19

if your friend and her DP's shifts overlap regularly then fair enough, there's nothing wrong with getting a dog. but if they work similar shift patterns on the same days then I'd say it's a stupid idea getting a dog.

tiredemma Sun 03-Aug-08 18:32:34

We would LOVE a dog, but due to nobody being in the house all day, its a no-go area.

The very last thing I would do is expect someone else to come in and check on it every day. Bloody cheek

scottishmum007 Sun 03-Aug-08 18:35:31

I know, what's the point of getting a dog if you are never there personally to look after it.

pinkspottywellies Sun 03-Aug-08 18:35:53

My friend did this. She also didn't walk it (big labrador sad) and then complained about how he was so badly behaved. And because he was bored and tore the house up because he didn't get any exercise, she would shut him in the kitchen so he couldn't wreck the house sad.

I'm not a dog lover at all but in the end I had a huge go at her and said that she had to start walking him at least 3 times a day and that she was abusing him and being cruel. About a week after this she took him back to the breeders because she couldn't look after him. I'm glad that I said something because it was so awful sad

I hope your friend makes the right decision. If she asks you might need to be a bit blunt with her.

TheProvincialLady Sun 03-Aug-08 18:37:23

You are both mixing up friendship with taking the piss-ship. Your friend sounds a total nightmare - that poor dog.

I agree with the others, say NO you will not look after the dog, ever, as you detest dogs and are not willing to commit to being around at the right times.

Bronze Sun 03-Aug-08 18:41:49

And of all the breeds to get....

Ambi Sun 03-Aug-08 18:42:06

We got our dog as a puppy because we both work ft. She is now used to us being out all day and now sleeps through the day. Though when she was tiny I came home at lunchtime and saw to her. Its not your responsibility to look after her pets, I have a friend like this who bought a puppy when he was in debt and then needed me to go and feed it in the evenings, cos he often worked late. Needless to say the novelty didn't last and puppy was given to someone else.

Ambi Sun 03-Aug-08 18:43:53

Also springers have so much energy, they can get out of control quite easily if they are not entertained and exercised properly.

expatinscotland Sun 03-Aug-08 18:47:24

I think you need to make it very clear to her that you will in no way be responsible for her dog or her childcare.

pedilia Sun 03-Aug-08 18:48:39

That sounds like a recipie for disaster so YANBU

QueenBhannae Sun 03-Aug-08 18:49:22

Not read all thread but if you really want a dog and friend wants to pay for and feed a dog etc then surely you gethe better end of the deal for your dc?
Just a thought.
If you don't want to do the above then yanbu.

ShyBaby Sun 03-Aug-08 19:11:09

Tell her that although you're happy to help out a friend, you cant be relied upon to always be around at a certain time and you wouldn't like to mess them around, so it would be better if they found a regular "dog sitter".

I would love a dog, my kids are nagging me for one but the answer is no, because I work every day and it would be unfair. I cant look after a dog properly.

IllegallyBrunette Sun 03-Aug-08 19:18:40

Her hubby works from roughly 7am - 5pm. She works earlies, lates and nights.

If she is on an early then the dog would be on it's own from about 6am (her hubby has to take her to work) until 4:30pmish.

If she is on a late then the dog would be on it's own from about 11am-5pm.

IMO 6 hours is way too long for any dog to be alone, nevermind a puppy.

The problem is, I have to pass her house to and from school so if I say that I don't want to do it we will probably fall out, as she will just think I am being difficult I suppose. I don't actually have an excuse I can use.

I know it might sound ideal from the point of view that we want a dog and can't have one, but we want a dog for various reasons, long family walks, company for my dd etc etc, and we wouldn't get that from her dog as it isn't ours. I'd literally just be being used to go in the house and let it out for a pee and thats it.

bluefox Sun 03-Aug-08 19:19:27

We would love a dog but we both work f/t and I think its very irresponsible to get a dog under these circumstances. Its very cruel to leave them alone all day. I wish the breeder could check your friends working arrangements before letting the puppy go.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: