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to be so impatient with the 'depressed'

(15 Posts)
wigparty Sat 02-Aug-08 00:35:12

I was diagnosed (quite a while ago) with (clinical) depression. I think I have been depressed since the age of 14 (I'm now late 30s). I've been on ADs on and off since then and have had councelling on various occasions. All have helped, but I'm not 'cured'.

Am I unreasonable to suspect people's motives who say they're depressed? I don't know why I do. If someone's sleeping all day (because they're depressed), I think 'you're bloody lazy'. If I sleep all morning (because I'm depressed), I think 'I'm bloody lazy'.

Does depression really explain things like apathy, laziness, unfriendliness, being antisocial?

I speaking as sometime who at one time or another displays all of the above behaviour, but can't accept there's a valid excuse for it sad. I'm the first to berate myself for being lazy, uninvolved, uninspired etc et.c

(ps. some of the time I'm bloomin' great, this is not all the time!)

MadameOvary Sat 02-Aug-08 00:40:55

Real depression is an absolute killer, as I'm sure you know. Sometimes yes, depression perfectly explains all that you write.

I think you're projecting your pissed-off ness onto other people, esp the ones that go on about being soooo depressed when they dont have a clue what real depression is.

TBH I think you are just impatient with yourself and need to accept you have an illness which is difficult to come to terms with - and which some people dismiss.

chapstickchick Sat 02-Aug-08 00:42:15

i dont suffer with depression myself but i did overhear something in my local library that made my bloodboil,some daft wealthy older ladies were having a book club meet discussing a book bout an author with depression and the total shit yes shit they came out with-'i dont know how she finds the time to be depressed running a house and looking fter children'- ' well i dont blame him for the affair she never had a hot dinner ready for him' and the best one 'how can you be depressed when you have things lie automatic washing machines?' bjesus these old ladies made me cross they sat there with their twinsets and gabor shoes living in one of the more affluent areas in my hometown yet passed such bigoted views that were totally ignorant-ive known seberl people with depression and it truly breaks a womans spirit-however it affects you true depression is a awful illness.

chapstickchick Sat 02-Aug-08 00:43:26

scuse my typos grin

wigparty Sat 02-Aug-08 00:48:44

MadameOvary you are totally right. After so many years, I'm p'd off with the fact I can't deal with it, despite the pills and the support.
I can deal with it, but life is always... a bit sub-standard.
I can't bear the fact that I one day I'll spend 12 hours immersed and buzzing on a projet and the next day barely be able to get out of bed due to apathy and fatigue.
And I blame myself, I think I'm rubbish and lazy. This is why I think the same of others in my situation. Very sad

Chapstick I can see why that would have riled you, me too actually!

Depression is so crap, it's such a vague sense of mind as well, which makes it worse.

PCOmNomNASWM Sat 02-Aug-08 00:54:31

HUGS for al suffereing

I thnk the simple explanation here is that depression has no timescls - and hte feelfins it induces are those of impatience

youa re not being unreasonable

it is all art of the ilness

like me sayuing 'AIBU becaue Iam sick of my dh bleedinhg? well he is a hsemophilica and that illness means his blood doesnt clot so he bleeds. I still feel those things, but it is part of the illness

same with depresson

wigparty Sat 02-Aug-08 00:58:51

Thanks all, i just get so b**y frustrated with it all.
A good day for me is not dreading the whole day hmm. Thought I'd be over it after teen years, but not so. My lack of tolerance with 'fellow sufferers' really gets me, but I'm really very intolerant. I can't bear it, but in the same way I can't bear myself showing these tendencies.

I never make this obvious to other people, but I cringe when someone tells me how depressed they are.

PCOmNomNASWM Sat 02-Aug-08 01:01:23

Oh I bet - you poor thing

I have long term stuff too. I hasvb BPD. I am sick of it. understatement. Iam also frustred with dh's illness. It is not hi fault, bit it drives me mad. Want to kill him often. Ormaybe tha tis my depression tlaking?

HUGS wigs

wigparty Sat 02-Aug-08 01:06:08

Aw, PCO I'm sorry.
Can DH's illness be treated? <hopeful>
If you love him and want to kill him, it surely is depression!

PCOmNomNASWM Sat 02-Aug-08 01:07:50

oh wigs, do ignore,e had far to mch wine ad ought ought to learm to stop talking on mn when drunk

my empathetic finhgers ran awya wiht me


wigparty Sat 02-Aug-08 01:12:00

I know you weren't being serious smile, I can just relate to that feeling - it surely must be what they call depression/bpd?

Thank god someone has given my feelings a name because sometimes I'd feel like I've totally lost it sad

Arrrg, time to regroup for the weekend. As usual, I seem normal, together and happy .. I'm very good at acting grin, long may the myth continue!


solidgoldbrass Sat 02-Aug-08 01:20:52

Well it is very common among people who are not themselves depressed but are closely involved with someone who is. For all you know that they are ill and it's not their fault, living with or being close friends with a depressed person is really f**king hard work and you very frequently want to smack them one (particularly because, though depression is not 'infectious' people who are the main carer for a depressed person can end up becoming depressed themselves simply because you end up feeling not like a person at all, and as though all your wishes, needs and feelings are secondary to those of the depressive).

And yes, there are some people who are not 'depressed', just self-pitying whiners.

wigparty Sat 02-Aug-08 01:29:14

Solidgold, you sound like you're in a 'carer's' position, are you?
I can honesty sympathise with you. I want to smack myself a lot of the time but it doesn't help.
Does your dp/dh suffer from depression?

wigparty Sat 02-Aug-08 01:39:58

Am off to bed as I have to behave as a normal human being for the rest of the weekend [scared emoticon]

thanks for everyone's input smile

solidgoldbrass Sat 02-Aug-08 01:54:54

Wigparty: not at present but have had years of it with friends and one on-off partner. IN a couple of cases they would not seek help for their problems: the ones who were receiving treatment were exhausting but at least I could feel that it wouldn't be this awful forever.
I don't know why I always got so lumbered with this sort of thing: I am hostile, misanthropic and have very peculiar views on life.

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