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to be annoyed with helper at baby group?

(18 Posts)
maidofallwork Thu 31-Jul-08 22:35:48

i was at a baby and toddler grp this week. when i went in with ds at my heels and went over to the counter to pay, fiddling to find coins. Ds is nearly 16mths) a mum/ helper came over and said hello to him, then tried to get him to hold her hand. i could hear her saying "oh you don;t want to hold my hand" then she walked past me carrying a child- i realised it was a wriggling ds, took him to a table, put him on an adult chair, handed him a piece of chalk and held his hand to draw. it all happened really quickly,and ds struggled to get away and rushed back to me. she then came over and said hello.i don;t even know this womans name and feel cross she man handled ds without asking me and when he clearly didn;t like her and was wary of this strange woman.
she didn;t do this with any other children that day.

think i should have said something/ and maybe should if i go again. really interested in others opinions

Twiglett Thu 31-Jul-08 22:37:16

think she was being helpful and lovely and you're being a little bit precious tbh

2shoes Thu 31-Jul-08 22:45:13

agree with twiggie

DisenchantedPlusBump Thu 31-Jul-08 22:47:19

Oh FGS, she was trying to entertain your child whilst you paid and got organised.

She was being FRIENDLY and NICE!

DisenchantedPlusBump Thu 31-Jul-08 22:47:53

Just read the title, shes a helper! She is supposed to do that!

Niecie Thu 31-Jul-08 22:50:10

I wouldn't have liked it either. I am all for people helping out with DC but if the DC don't like it and they don't know the person I would be wondering what they were up to.

How odd carting your child off like that? I wouldn't have done it except saying hello.

FluffyMummy123 Thu 31-Jul-08 22:50:43

Message withdrawn

Niecie Thu 31-Jul-08 22:51:25

I assume that by baby and toddler group you mean one where the mother stays, not a creche.

HumphreyPillow Thu 31-Jul-08 22:51:57

It sounds like she was being kind, and trying to make your DS feel at home in the group.

She then did the same for you.

It's unfortunate that you were annoyed by that.

Judd Thu 31-Jul-08 22:55:49

I went to a new Toddler Group when DD was 2.5 and DS was a couple of months old. He was over 11 lb at birth, and so I struggled with him in the carseat and guiding DD at the same time (very shy at this point). A lady greeted me at the door and said "Oooh, you've got your hands full! Let me take your baby so you can get a coffee and get your little girl sorted out." She took DS's carseat off me, ushered me over to the serving hatch and directed DD towards a toy kitchen. I loved her and her helpfulness and we went to the toddler group for the next four years smile

maidofallwork Thu 31-Jul-08 22:59:08

i have been before quite a lot and she has just looked after her own baby all the times before. when i say helper, i mean on the rota, like all of us. yes all the mums/ carers stay.
she left her own dd on an adult chair from which she couldn't get down on her own.
i wasn't struggling and ds was quite happy! i still think its a bit odd. i wouldn't do it unless i asked the mum first.

hester Thu 31-Jul-08 23:01:58

It does sound like she was a bit cack-handed, but her intentions were good. She was probably a bit embarrassed at your ds' obvious lack of enthusiasm for her charms, which maybe why you didn't see her try it on with any of the other tots.

I should just write it off as someone being well-meaning. I'm forever approaching/cuddling toddlers at the creche I help out at (though, to be fair, this is one where their mothers leave them). They probably think I'm a strange woman as well grin

Niecie Thu 31-Jul-08 23:05:25

That was what struck me as odd, maidofallwork - she didn't say hello to you first, she just took your DS away.

I run a toddler group too and I wouldn't have done it. I can just imagine the looks I would have got if I had tried to walk off with somebody's reluctant child.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Thu 31-Jul-08 23:10:53

i would definitely have asked the mum first if it was ok to take their child in while mum paid. and if the child seemed to resist and wanted to stay with their mum, leave them be. You don't know a child's personality, circumstances or history, so i would say it was only sensible to let them set the pace for introduction to a group situation.
and why on earth are they using adult chairs at a baby/toddler group??? surely that's just asking for an arnica moment.

TheProvincialLady Thu 31-Jul-08 23:12:23

Yes you should definitely have said something - thank you would have been good. She may have been a bit cack handed but she was trying to help you, not abduct your childhmm

cbmummy Fri 01-Aug-08 07:34:34

I run a toddler group and always make a fuss (though not too overbearing) of the new kids. I also encourage them to go and play with something perhaps a bit quieter at first without other kids clambering all over it. I think this person was probably doing the same. Obviously it will be too late to say something now as if you felt that strongly you should have said something at the time to be honest. Just wait and see what happens next time - as he has been there once he will probably be better anyway.

AbbeyA Fri 01-Aug-08 07:49:35

She maybe didn't do it in the best way but it sounds as if she was trying to help.

Lemontart Fri 01-Aug-08 08:00:24

The only bit I am surprised at is the chairs part. Perhaps they are short of funds and could do with some parental help fundraising.
Personally, I would have been upset if I had stood there, new, fumbling for coins while there were helpers there, specifically there to "help", who watched and did nothing at all. Even if you were not struggling hard, still nice to have help.
Sounds like she is a nice woman who tried to help just was perhaps a little bit clumsy in reading the social signals

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