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To expect some kind of thanks despite the situation?

(8 Posts)
DancingMamaWithBabes Thu 31-Jul-08 15:27:20

OK, last year SIL and long term OH bought a house and moved in together, DH and I thought we should start getting this OH b'day presents as they now live together. In the past SIL refused to say when his b'day was. Anyway SIL voiced her request last year before his b'day that we should get him a present, so we did (once she had vetted it because he is so fussy apparently.)

It then took 3 weeks later before he emailed DH to say thanks with a not funny comment really about SIL.

This year, I text SIL to check the date of OH b'day ands she confirms it. So we send him a present, two weeks later, no thanks and when DH asked their mum if OH had thanked them for any present we leart SIL on getting our present arrive, phoned MIL up and told her off, because she had asked her to tell us NOT to get him a present. Somehow MIL thought she had passed on the message and I honestly can't remember (having had a baby recently)

The reason SIL now doesn't want OH getting presents is due to OH family not doing this type of gesture so is embarrassed. OK, I understand different families work differently, but am I right in DH and I feeling pissed off as we spent money on OH which OH rather not get, YET what's he going to do, NOT spend the vouchers we sent? i don't think so!! (and again there has been no thanks.)

It seems really petty, but feel really irate about it, one tries to be nice, but there was no point and it also makes me grr that SIL gave her mum such a hard time about it, she could have just phoned us up and told us herself to ensure message got through.

Rant over blush

iheartdusty Thu 31-Jul-08 15:28:43

sounds like more trouble than it's worth
I just wouldn't get anything next time

DancingMamaWithBabes Thu 31-Jul-08 15:31:00

we wont, now we know.. just says an awful lot about someone (oh and sil) who are meant to be good role models (looking at their jobs) for children in society!

Notanexcitingname Thu 31-Jul-08 15:36:58

I don't think unresonable not to be peed off that you get no thanks. I mean, if he doesn't want presents, how hard can it be to say, thanks, but you really don't have to worry in future (though I can see why MIL was told off-but hope it was nicely done, if she apprently didn't pass on a message)
Do agree it's a bizarre state of affairs, and an odd rationale, but hey, that's families.

TheHedgeWitch Thu 31-Jul-08 15:45:45

Message withdrawn

beanieb Thu 31-Jul-08 15:53:23

He should thank you but I think the moment has passed really. Just accept that it was a non-starter I say.

TwoBigNorks Thu 31-Jul-08 20:24:34

I would send a token gift every year like clockwork wine gums perhaps

glitterchick Thu 31-Jul-08 20:37:35

How rude. Don't bother again. Send a happy birthday text instead.

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