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AIBU in thinking my husband is an ungrateful git???

(46 Posts)
shoptilidrop Thu 31-Jul-08 10:46:00

Honestly i am mighty pi**ed off. Its his 30th birthday in a few weeks. He wants money to put towards a new bike. Thats fine and im organising it all. HE wont get if for a few weeks after his birthday as we are on holiday then he is away for a week. I wanted to do something special for him, so decided to do a scrapbook of the last 10 years. I got a really nice album, and all the bits i needed, and spent about £25. Ive spent the last 2 days looking for photos but am missing qiute a lot. DH works away in the week and has his own pc so i asked him to bring some back with him. He immediatley got defensive, saying why did i want them, why couldnt i tell him. i said i couldnt as it was a surprise. He got a bit narked about that and said he didnt want a bloody life book thing, or a poster of his life or anything with pics of him in. Bloody ungreatful sod. I told him thanks a lot i shall no longer make any poxy effort and he will be lucky to get a card!
Honestly, whats wrong with him!

stealthsquiggle Thu 31-Jul-08 10:48:39

Sounds like he is preparing to sulk about turning 30 to me.

Good Luck - if he is anything like my DH you will need it.

wingandprayer Thu 31-Jul-08 10:49:14 you think there's anything else on the PC he wouldn't want you to see? Methinks DH protest too much.

shoptilidrop Thu 31-Jul-08 10:51:13

oh no, i dont want him to bring the pc back, just the pics on a disk.

I think he is just a miserable tosser

wingandprayer Thu 31-Jul-08 10:56:08

In that case, yes he's is being v miserable isn't he? What a lovely idea it was and now he's been all mardy about it. I would be tempted to buy him something really dull like socks now since he didn't want the really special present, and keep all the
scrapbooking stuff to make DC/family album.

nametaken Thu 31-Jul-08 10:57:43

Sorry shoptilidrop but that sounds like an crap gift for a blokes 30th birthday shock. It sounds like something you'd give to a couple on their 30th wedding anniversary.

AND, your giving him a birthday present but he has to put the work in by getting all the pictures together, and he obviously can't be bothered.

YABU - you asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he told you, money for his bike. So give him what he asked for, otherwise what was the point in asking him what he wanted.

Why don't you make a little memory box for the kids instead grin

FiteFuaite Thu 31-Jul-08 11:01:38

Nametaken,from how I understood the OP he is getting money towards his bike,this was an extra present.

FiteFuaite Thu 31-Jul-08 11:04:09

oh and shoptilidrop,I think you are right to be peed off with him.

Get thee down pound shop,lots of stuff there for miserable gits wink

wingandprayer Thu 31-Jul-08 11:04:17

That's a bit harsh nametaken - he's already getting the money for the bike as well as the scrapbook.

BuwchBywiog Thu 31-Jul-08 11:05:52

Sounds like he's dreading hitting 30 and that a reminder of his life so far in the form of a scrapbook made him panic even more! He didn't have to be so mean though.

Kewcumber Thu 31-Jul-08 11:06:55

yes he is an ungrateful git

nametaken Thu 31-Jul-08 11:10:40

Sorry but I honestly don't think I'm being harsh.

I laughed when I read the original post. She married a MAN fgs not her best friend who'd love a pretty little scrap book.

shoptilidrop Thu 31-Jul-08 11:11:41

yes., he is still getting the money for the bike. I just wanted to do something special as well. WE have been together since we were both 20, so have known each other years. Thought it might be nice to shown how we have grown and changed and include wedding, puppy, baby pics, promotions, holidays etc,.... i did ask a few other people if they thought it too girly. But everyone said it was a really nice idea.
I was also organising a family meal as a surprise too, but shant do that now either. I dont think ill even bother with a card, then when he complains i tell him its his own miserable fault.

shoptilidrop Thu 31-Jul-08 11:14:01

nametaken - what so men dont have feelings.... do they all carry clubs and wear loin cloths too? LOL

Kewcumber Thu 31-Jul-08 11:14:22

so if you don't get a present that you want that someone has taken time over you tell them you dont want the bloody present?

Surely a "ooh no please, I hate looking at photos of me so hate to think of you wasting your time on it" would have been a bit more reasonable.

nametaken Thu 31-Jul-08 11:14:46

Aww, organise the meal and card for him sad - all he did was to be honest with you and that's a good thing isn't it?

Kewcumber Thu 31-Jul-08 11:15:22

I think allowing men to be rude and laughing it off sayiong "oh well they are men you can't expect them to be polite" is pants. well yes actually I do.

nametaken Thu 31-Jul-08 11:16:53

Kewcumber - it you ask someone what they would like for a present then you should get them what they request, otherwise, what was the point in asking in the first place?

wingandprayer Thu 31-Jul-08 11:18:47

Even if he hates it (and we can assume shoptilidrop that you would not have chosen to do it if you thought it would be something he'd hate), he should still ahve had the good grace to appreciate the effort being made and not right it off in such a nasty way. Imagine if the tables were turned and he'd asked what dress size she was "Urgh, no, why do you want to know? I don't want a bloody dress, or a skirt or any other clothing off you". It was a totally uncalled for, ungrateful response by him to caring gesture from her.

wingandprayer Thu 31-Jul-08 11:19:56

She has got him what he requested - the money for the bike. She was trying to be nice and give him something extra.

nametaken Thu 31-Jul-08 11:21:48

I'm quite shocked i'm in the minority here shock.

I'm even more shocked that the OP thinks it's OK to punish her dh by cancelling his card and party because he said something she didn't want to hear.

I'm off now, hope your dh has a nice day.

womblingalong Thu 31-Jul-08 11:22:24


She IS giving him the bike he wants FGS, that is not the point. It is his rudeness and ungratefulness that is the issue. The OP has told you a couple of times that he is getting his asked for pressie. If it was my DH i would def pull him up on his behaviour.

Hecate Thu 31-Jul-08 11:22:30

Were the people you asked women by any chance?

Men have feelings, of course they do, but I really don't think it's the type of thing that most men are interested in. He was certainly rude about it, disgustingly so! angry He should have pretended that he thought it was a lovely, romantic idea and he would spend his evenings staring at it in quiet contemplation! grin It wouldn't have hurt him to pretend - but tbh, I think pretend is what the majority of men would do with a gift like that. However you'd expect them to be touched at the thought and effort put into it! angry

Perhaps I don't know the right sort of men grin but I cannot think of even one bloke I know who would look at something like that more than once (and only then because it was expected!)

However, for his rudeness about it - I think you should make him a chocolate laxative cake.

differentID Thu 31-Jul-08 11:22:39

he was already getting what he asked for though. And he was rude in speaking to his wife that way, showing no respect to her or for her feelings

differentID Thu 31-Jul-08 11:23:27

lol hecate.

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