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To be really upset that MIL ISN'T going to see us?

(7 Posts)
kanx Wed 30-Jul-08 09:54:24

We live a long way from PIL. We have been going through a hard time for a while, and they seemed so keen to come and see us that they were about to book a ticket to come and see us.

DH's work is uncertain, and we didn't want them to make a commitment to see us until we knew more about his work situation.

We found out this week that his work is going to go on for a few more months, so told PIL we would love to see them.

They told us today that aren't going to be able to make it.

I am really upset and disappointed. NOt just for myself, but for my DH, and especially DS1.

PIL do a lot for their other 8 grandchildren, and they came over here when SIL had her first baby, and they went to see BIL when he was overseas.

AIBU to be really sad that they aren't going to make the effort to see us?

(am a regular poster but have changed my name)

kanx Wed 30-Jul-08 10:09:12


Thisismynewname Wed 30-Jul-08 10:18:54

Oh dear, can you rearrange for another time?

ChirpyGirl Wed 30-Jul-08 10:21:20

Why can't tey come? Do they work? I know I was upset that my mum can't visit more often but she has nightmare's getting leave.
Do they want to wait until they can spend more time with DH if he is working?
Have they arranged for another time or just said they are not coming at all?

I can see your point but they may have what they feel are perfectly valid reasons.

kanx Wed 30-Jul-08 10:25:11

They live along way away.

MIL does have a bad knee, but this is not new, so the situation hasn't changed.

It would be hard for her to travel, I would not want her to be in pain, but she knew about the knee before.

I just wish rather than get our hopes up she had never told us she was coming.

Thisismynewname Wed 30-Jul-08 10:35:26

What reason did they give for not being able to make it?

kanx Wed 30-Jul-08 11:17:37

Bad (arthritic) knee.

They live a long way away.

It would take a long time to get here.

If she doesn't feel up to it fair enough, but a couple of times recently they have made it sound like they were about to book their tickets.

Now we have shown we would like them to come, it seems they have changed their mind.

I know I am sounding petty and immature, but I am really disappointed for DH. He feels like a second-best child because he is a second son, and there is a younger sister after him, who gets a lot of the family concern and worry.

MIL has never wanted to feel like she is interfering, but she couldn't be further from the truth.

She had a bad relationship with her MIL, and doesn't want the same with SIL and me, but I think she brings it on herself (she told me when DS1 was very young that he would break my heart one day, just like DH and BIL have done).

That broke my heart and I feel like she brings some bad thought on herself.

Anway, she is not well, and I wouldn't want to put her out, and put her through pain, I just wish she hadn't told us she was coming at all (or make it sound like she would be on the next plane).

Oh, we could go and see them, but it is a long way, we went earlier in the year, DS2 needs regular therapy here, and DS1 starts school in September, plus there is the expense, and given DH's work situation he can't take the time out. I took them myself earlier in the year, and without exaggerating, it was a nightmare I am not in a hurry to repeat!

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