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To think friends should remember your birthday?

(20 Posts)
cathcat Wed 30-Jul-08 00:16:19

Two friends seem to make no effort to remember my birthday even though I always remember theirs. What is that all about? I know it could be money but we are supposed to be going out on Saturday and they will be spending lots on drink, dancing etc. I just think that it is good manners to celebrate your friend's birthday, even a bunch of flowers from your garden or bake a cake. I feel annoyed at myself for minding about this; I am old enough to not mind about it. But this year DH forgot my birthday too FFS!

Tortington Wed 30-Jul-08 00:18:05

no- one forgets my birthday

i tell em


Happy birthday btw - your friends are twats

cathcat Wed 30-Jul-08 00:20:09

Thank you. My DH is one too then, lol.

differentID Wed 30-Jul-08 00:20:37

I've given up telling when my irthday is. They've been told the night before ffs and they were coming over to "celebrate my birthday", they turn up, cake ready and say "oh is it your birthday, we didn't know!"
It's in the 7th August btw grin

differentID Wed 30-Jul-08 00:22:35

as in we had the cake ready in the kitchen. dinner sorted, cake for dessert, wine in the fridge and could they remember? no.
My dh has just learned to remember it- i fire quick questions at him- "When's my Birthday?" He got it right for the first time straight away last week.

thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-08 00:23:31

the older I get, the fewer friends remember my birthday - DH never forgets it though (well not yet anyway wink). My best friend has the same b'day as me and every year several friends remember hers and forget mine - that's really bad!

I stopped caring last year (other things to worry about) and now I don't send cards to those who don't remember mine. Saves on resentment.

troubledfriend Wed 30-Jul-08 00:32:37


Happy Birthday!

wrinklytum Wed 30-Jul-08 00:35:14

Maybe they had a lot on their minds.I forgot my good friends Bday last year and I usually make an effort to find her something nice,but dp was really sick and dd had lots of hospital tests....

Happy birthday

hughjarssss Wed 30-Jul-08 00:37:58

Happy birthday! grin

Hip Hip Hooray ...

cathcat Wed 30-Jul-08 00:40:46

thumbwitch - yes, this year I did not send a card to someone for that reason and we don't keep a lot of contact. But these two I see all the time. One is DS2'd Godmother - in fact she forgot his birthday too shock!
I think it annoys me though when they make a joke about forgetting it , am I suppose to find it funny every year?! I do have lots of lovely friends who do remember btw.

cathcat Wed 30-Jul-08 00:42:44

differnetID, happy birthday for Aug 7th!

differentID Wed 30-Jul-08 00:45:41

lol, thanks. We see each other most weekends, so it does depress me a bit that they don't seem to be bothered iyswim, yet make a huge fuss about it being theirs. We usually clebrate the weekend before or after, but can't this year as they go away the weekend before and we go away th eone after. All I want is a text message saying happy birthday.

cathcat Wed 30-Jul-08 01:03:06

Start dropping heavy handed reminders now. My two actually said they were going to buy birthday books and get me to help them fill in important dates. Didn't happen, don't think it would have made a difference anyway. I am resolving not to 'remember' their birthdays next year but this makes me twitchy and I will probably cave nearer the time. Such is life I suppose!

RuffleTheAnimal Wed 30-Jul-08 01:06:45

christ i am totally unreliable re birthdays and Being A Good Friend to a timetable... sometimes life gets in the way.
a good friend is one who doesnt take offence imo! id have no beef with a friend saying 'oi! you cow! its MY birthday 2moror'. id blush then try to get/do summat nice.

cathcat Wed 30-Jul-08 01:14:15

Yes but how many times are you not supposed to take offence? And Ruffle, you obviously make the effort to get/do something nice. When that doesn't happen.... yes I can accept it and roll with it to an extent but part of me thinks it is odd that the favour is not returned. I end up feeling an idiot for always getting them something nice but not vice versa. Not feeling sorry for myself btw, quite interesting to discuss this actually. theraputic (sp?)

thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-08 01:17:30

well at least downgrade them to just a card - don't waste time looking for something nice for them. Life's too short for that - and see if they notice! (therapEutic, btw wink)

RuffleTheAnimal Wed 30-Jul-08 01:20:40

i actually feel horribly guilty about one friend in partic (but most long term ones tbh) who i never remember the birthday of. even now, i know its sometime in april. probably. and ive known and loved her for over a decade!! she knows full well i wont tho... and she doesnt wind herself up being good about mine either... id rather get together when we can and have a great old time gossiping and drinking bonding and laughing and feeling all loved and great about the world, than remmeber a birthday once a year not get to do that stuff. not that you were for one second offering those as options/comparisons! sorry!


differentID Wed 30-Jul-08 01:20:57

I have actually told them the day before that it's my birthday and still nothing.

RuffleTheAnimal Wed 30-Jul-08 01:23:33

well if they dont make the effort, or for whatever reason, they dont remember yours, and more than once too, then you simply stop bothering about theirs. they are obviously not Birthday People! and if they get uppity about you forgetting, then kick some arse grin

cathcat Wed 30-Jul-08 01:29:40

I agree, time to downgrade as Thumb and Ruffle say.
Sympathies differentID, as my 2 were told the day before too, by other friends and still didn't remember. i think drink addled their brains.

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