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To no want to go to a wedding....

(19 Posts)
VinegarTits Tue 29-Jul-08 13:53:45

This Saturday with my ex MIL? my ex is not going as he has other plans, so his mother invited me and ds, Agreed to go because it will be nice for ds to see his extended family, I get on really well with her. but really dont want to go now (after saying i would love too)

Its in Wales and we live in England so will have to travel Friday and come home Sunday (we are all travelling together and her daughter is driving us) not a problem. Now she has asked me if i wouldnt mind driving (even though she can drive) i do a 100 mile round trip to work and back everyday so driving is not fun anymore. she has also suggested i take my car to the wedding so i can leave early if ds gets tired (everyone else is getting on a minibus) so i wont even get to have a glass of champers!

I am going on Holiday a week later and havent had a chacne to even shit let alone go shopping for it, really just want to spend my weekend shopping and packing AIBU? I probably am but any suggestions of how to get out of this would be gratefully received!

beanieb Tue 29-Jul-08 13:57:36

I recon it would be easy enough to get out of the driving but not sure how you can get out of the actual event unless you are prepared to invent some kind of crisis/alternative event...

posieflump Tue 29-Jul-08 13:59:11

Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that your ds has suddenly come down with a mystery virus, I really hope that resting him all weekend will mean he is okay to go on holiday

wink grin

Beauregard Tue 29-Jul-08 13:59:56

God i hate weddings
Make an excuse

VinegarTits Tue 29-Jul-08 14:00:42

Hmm i could develop a mystery illness, but what are my syptoms?

branflake81 Tue 29-Jul-08 14:01:23

I think you have said you will go and so should honour the commitment. Sorry - not what yuo want to hear.

Uriel Tue 29-Jul-08 14:02:11

Don't viruses happen at the most inconvenient time. What a shame! wink

HonoriaGlossop Tue 29-Jul-08 14:02:17

YANBU in not wanting to go! How often does ds see his extended family? How old is DS? I must say though, if this was my DS who is six I probably would make the effort because he so LOVES seeing his aunts/uncles/cousins and I think some of the Do's we go to as kids are such good memories - a weekend shopping and packing won't quite provide your ds with those long lasting memories of childhood grin

However if he's really young or not so fussed about family then I would think twice probably. It's a lot of effort going all that way.

Why don't you arrange to share the driving if you do go?

stitch Tue 29-Jul-08 14:02:44

doesnt sound as if you need to make an excuse at all
just tell them yu are too busy to go, what with tyour holiday and non preparation for it.

gonaenodaethat Tue 29-Jul-08 14:02:53

Could you be honest?

Tell her you feel you've taken too much on and it would stress you out too much to go.

Sometimes I think you just have to say no. It's inconveniencing you more to go than it would inconvenience her if you didn't. (Does that make sense?)

TheProvincialLady Tue 29-Jul-08 14:05:02

YANBU at not wanting go, but go you must I'm afraid. The bride and groom will have spent money on your food and it would be bad manners to pull out now. I don't see why you should have to drive there though, as you hadn't already agreed and your MIL is just as capable.

VinegarTits Tue 29-Jul-08 14:07:09

Ds is 2, i know he will love it. TPL you are right and i feel guilty now

VinegarTits Tue 29-Jul-08 14:09:01

Oh gosh i wish somebody could go shopping for holiday clothes and pack them for me then (and pay for them wink) looks like i will have to go to the wedding

VinegarTits Tue 29-Jul-08 14:10:44

I do think my ex should have cancelled his plans and taken ds to the wedding with him, but he is el-selfo git

posieflump Tue 29-Jul-08 14:10:45

MIL obviously wants to go home in the minibus with everyone else, so someone has to leave early with ds, is that right?
maybe he will sleep in a pushchair so you can stay if you really don't want to say he is coming down with something!

Uriel Tue 29-Jul-08 14:11:48

You've hurt your wrist/hand/arm/left eyebrow and it hurts to drive. You've been told to rest it over the weekend. wink

So you can still go, but someone else will have to drive as per the original agreement.

HonoriaGlossop Tue 29-Jul-08 14:12:03

coo hadn't even thought about that - they will have paid so much a head for your meal etc

Duty calls!

Can you make your ex help out with ds next week so you get some child free time to shop/pack? Or Ex MIL?

VinegarTits Tue 29-Jul-08 14:13:49

I dont have a problem leaving early if ds is tired, i have decided, i am going to get a cab home with him, then i can at least have a glass or wine or 2

MrsTittleMouse Tue 29-Jul-08 14:21:56

Sounds like a good decision. I think that once you've accepted the invitation then there has to be an accident or illness to justify not turning up. One of DH's relatives didn't bother turning up to our wedding (no explanation, no apology) and his parents were really offended. Plus my parents had forked out a lot of money for two meals plus wine and champagne for him.

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