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to be offended by my husband's questioning? (sorry, long)

(15 Posts)
Feenie Mon 28-Jul-08 18:03:47

I bought the wrong penknife for his birthday 2 and a half weeks ago, and have been making arrangements t exchange it. It needs posting.

I have spent the last 4 weeks being the busiest I can remember - finishing the term at school (I am a teacher), reports, moving classrooms, etc. I didn't finish till last Tuesday, and was working every evening aswell.
Then the day after we broke up we went straight to my mother's 150 miles away for her birthday, during which time I exchanged emails with the penknife company, then when we came back on Friday his brother came to stay with us until this morning. It was the only weekend he could come and I had reluctantly agreed, even though I was looking forward to not running around like an idiot for once, and relaxing.
His brother left this lunchtime and I drove him to the station with ds. He convinced me to have lunch, which was nice, then I drove back, had a nap with ds (50 mins) then went straight out to do weekly shop. I intended to post the penknife when I got back.
When I got back, we talked about other things for a couple of minutes, then dh held up the penknife and asked 'why haven't you posted this?'. I was pissed off that he was moaning at me when I'd just set foot through the door and been busy all day, and for so many days, so I grumbled, and said something like 'Fine, I'll bring the shopping in on my own then, shall I.'
He lost his rag because I have been snapping at him a lot lately. He said I'd been to town, so I could have posted it. I explained I'd been to the station and that was it. But he persisted with 'But you had lunch in town' (his brother had texted him to tell him!) and I repeated that I'd been at the station having lunch, then the station carpark, then ds and I had come back for his nap. He said I couldn't be that stressed/tired, I'd had a nap with ds, I had time to relax at my mother's (no chance), I'd had plenty of time over the last 2 weeks to post the knife, etc. I has a fit at him, I was so pissed off that he was basically challenging how I'd used my time and disputing how stressed I have been, particularly when I've spent the last few days making sure his brother had a pleasant stay, even though I wanted a break.

Rant over, thank you if you've read this far. angry

meemar Mon 28-Jul-08 18:06:48

Rant away.

YANBU, if it was such matter of life and death, he could have posted it himself.

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 28-Jul-08 18:08:14

FGS can he not return it?

elmoandella Mon 28-Jul-08 18:12:05

well, he never said anything for 2.5 weeks.

maybe he was a bit moany about it. but he was probably looking forward to the new one coming. only to be disappointed the old one hadn't even been sent.

imagine he bought you the wrong dress/ring/shoe size of a lovely present and you had to wait for it. then you find the said item lurking , still not even sent away. you'd be pissed you would have to wait at least a week minimum for the right size to come.

thats how he feels.

i'm guessing you would have moaned too.

Nagapie Mon 28-Jul-08 18:15:08

I would be very careful arguing with a wife with a penknife - the word 'bobbitt' comes to miund and No YANBU!!

hearnoevil Mon 28-Jul-08 18:15:29

so you'd forgotten to do something you promised to do two and a half weeks ago and then had a go at him for not bringing in the shopping when he got a bit arsey over it?

hearnoevil Mon 28-Jul-08 18:18:44

also love how the phrase "bobbitt" is now just a casual jokey reference.
would it be the same if someone joked "i wouldn't argue with a husband who's had a few drinks he might do a gazza/best/any famous wife beater".

Nagapie Mon 28-Jul-08 18:22:02

Geez Hearnoevil - your house must be a barrel of laughs!!

Feenie Mon 28-Jul-08 18:27:43

Okay. Having calmed down a bit now, I see how he was disappointed in not getting his present swapped, and yes, I probably would be pissed off if it was my present. However, I genuinely haven't had time to do it, and when I say that I expect him to believe me. I also think he should appreciate how stressed/busy I have been, particularly during the last few days - it was really the straw that broke the camel's back, iyswim

hearnoevil Mon 28-Jul-08 18:31:18

"Geez Hearnoevil - your house must be a barrel of laughs!! "

i know, no jokes about mutilation or domestic violence, it's a painful existence.

i just stick to the racism and mysoginy which i'm sure you also find perfectly acceptable to make jokes about.

Feenie Mon 28-Jul-08 18:33:01

shock Blimey, hearnoevil, that's a bit out of order.

hearnoevil Mon 28-Jul-08 18:35:13

i don't think it is. someone insinuated that i must be no fun because i found a joke about domestic violence unacceptable.
so i responded in turn that if she finds domestic violence funny and those that don't are horribly unfunny she's probably cool with other horrible things such as racism.

TakeMeHome Mon 28-Jul-08 18:35:46

I don't think OP had forgotten to post it, just to busy working to post it !

unless dh is an infant, surely he is above getting stroppy because he hasn't got exactly the right birthday present he wanted !

I'm with you, Feenie. Tell him to post it himself or get a life !

elmoandella Mon 28-Jul-08 20:30:24

is this a stick in letterbox type item? or have to go into post office?

if it was an inside job. then ask him to do it with kids in tow and see how easy he finds keeping them amused in the que

Feenie Mon 28-Jul-08 21:05:42

Registered post. I just think he was out of order to question whether I am or am not busy, when in fact I have been ridiculously busy, and for ages now. He ought to know that, and know that if I say sorry, I haven't had time, then I haven't had time!

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