....to be absolutrely APOPLECTIC with rage at my bitchy neighbour?

[SheikYerbouti]

I was just in a the garden getting in my washing and I heard one of my neighbours talking to another. This neighbour in question is a childminder and is always very friendly.

Anyway, as I was getting in my washing, I heard her say "Oh, I'd never touch Sheiky's kids. They are really bloody naughty, they never behave themselves and they fidget and fight constantly. They are out of control." I also heard he say "AND she takes the pushchair through the house" LIKE IT'S A FUCKING CRIME.

I just coughed a bit to let them know I could hear every fucking bitchy word she was saying. I really wanted to kick off, but my kids were there. I wanted to grab the bitch by the throat and call her a fucking wart ridden harridan, but then I'd be accused of being unhinged as well.

Folk can say what thery fuck they like about me, but NOT MY KIDS. How fucking dare she? Yes, my children are a gbit feral sometimes, byt they are normal boys of 23 months and 3.7. They are not out of control. Show me a child of that age who never plays up, and I will run to Basingstoke with njo clothes on.

I'M FUCKING LIVID.

[NigellaTheOriginal]

You take the pushchair through the house. surely not?

[Nagapie]

Time to invite a friend around and return the favour !!

[fallingdown]

whats wrong with taking your pushchair through the house?

[elmoandella]

she's a weirdo! whats the problem with the pushchair?

where you supposed to keep it?? she's only person i've heard of who doesn't take pram in house

[SheikYerbouti]

I was not aware this was against the law.

[sagacious]

My children never fidget

They squirm

[BouncingTurtle]

'AND she takes the pushchair through the house'

You are not alone in this - we must be a pair of dirty slatterns

I'm pretty sure your kids are no better or worse than anyone else's, YANBU to be angry but don't let her know she's upset you.

[SheikYerbouti]

I get it out of the car, which is normally parked at the back of the house. I carry it through to the froint

She is really fucking sad if she is watching me every move

[TooTicky]

for you!!

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

pmsl at the taking the pushchair through the house line

Jesus, some people have nothing better to talk about.

[SheikYerbouti]

My hot-headed, read-haried Irish side is telling me to get the fuck rouynd there and have a go, but I will look like a fish wife, so I think from now on, avoidance is the only tactic

[NotQuiteCockney]

You take your pushchair through the house!!!

[SheikYerbouti]

I know, it's fucking disgusting isn't it? I should be up in front of the firing squad for crim,es against Anthea Turner

[WinkyWinkola]

Strange woman. I wouldn't take any notice of her.

She's clearly got some funny ideas and doesn't have much going on in her own life to notice such details about yours.

Someone whose opinions you really care about?

[Slashtrophe]

I don't get it - how else would you get the pushchair from back to front? Does she fly hers over the roof or something?

[savoycabbage]

Remember that woman on that programme about the fake babies. She had three identical white leather prams and she washed the wheels on the pram she took her baby out in before she brought the pram in. That's what you need to do

[savoycabbage]

Not that it was a baby it was a DOLL!

[sagacious]

What are you meant to do with a pushchair?

We have a neighbour who leaves hers outside her front door sometimes till even the end of the day.

There is much pursing of lips.

[SheikYerbouti]

No, I couldn't give a tross what she thinks. But I do think it's a bit off talinmg about my kids like that, especially when they are normal.

And to think, I almost asked her to mind my 2 when I went back to work (close shave)

[HumphreySmallPillow]

How upsetting.

And disappointing to find that someone who seemed so friendly is really a lying, gossipy, rude, ignorant, trout-faced, bitchy, evil, stirring witch.

Little boys are supposed to be part-feral.

Having two of my own, I know that they're the best kind.

[berolina]

for you. I would probably have had to say something. Living in Berlin among forthright German urbanites has made me very gobby assertive.

Silly cow (her, not you )

[Gateau]

I would go round and let her know - calmly - that you had heard what she had said. And that it wasn't very nice.

[SheikYerbouti]

I can't go round yet, because I'd probably smash her face in

[Gateau]

Oh, and forgot to add, don't get into a battle about it. Just say it - and leave - no matter how tempting it is to bitch at her.

[rookiemater]

Oh Sheik, that is horrible to hear someone talking about you, how rude of her. Boys are boys, she is clearly a loon so should be ignored.