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to think people should be grateful for any gifts they recieve for their children?

(56 Posts)
LolaTheShowgirl Mon 28-Jul-08 13:23:46

I recently sent a package of clothes (pyjamas, cardigans and t-shirts) through the post to my old family I used to nanny for. They were quite posh but I got on with them fine especially the dad and the children were just adorable. I got a very close bond to them in the time I was there. Every so often I send them gifts in the post to spoil the little ones, usually clothes. I recently sent the package described above after asking the dad the childrens sizes etc as we all know how quickly they can grow! Today I recieved an email from the mum asking me not to send them clothes from the shop I bought them from (george @ asda) as while the clothes look nice she doesn't like them in cheap stuff and she thought I would know what the children wear from working with them for the time I did. They wore Next, Babbleboom and OshKosh! Primark, George and Peacocks is all I can afford! I won't be sending anything again

Niecie Mon 28-Jul-08 13:26:35

How mean spirited. Even if her children never wore them (and I do think she is being a monumental snob not to) she could have just smiled sweetly and passed them on to somebody else if they bothered her that much.

Having money quite obviously doesn't endow you with manners. sad for you.

MamaG Mon 28-Jul-08 13:28:05

Very mean and snobbish of her

posieflump Mon 28-Jul-08 13:28:31

she could have just emailed to say she didn't need any extra and thank you
Don't boterh again, give them to someone who would be grateful

hanaflower Mon 28-Jul-08 13:28:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cookiemonstress Mon 28-Jul-08 13:29:34

That is very rude of the mum.. I can't believe it in fact. She clearly has no manners. I would be tempted to email back with a starting with an opening line somewhere along the lines of "Oh, I am every so sorry, I didn't have you down as someone who is snobby about labels..... etc etc" What a shame, she had to do this..

brimfull Mon 28-Jul-08 13:30:10

she sounds socially thick as shit

littlelapin Mon 28-Jul-08 13:30:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubySlippers Mon 28-Jul-08 13:31:16

ask her to send them back to you

seriously - you could return them and get your hard earned money back

the rudeness of some people never ceases to amaze me

tiggerlovestobounce Mon 28-Jul-08 13:31:53

Not very nice. Its lovely of you to send them things, but if they dont appreciate it them maybe its time to stop.

Turniphead1 Mon 28-Jul-08 13:33:11

Dear God. What a rude rude woman. And how lovely you are. Forget about her. Sad, I know.

TigerFeet Mon 28-Jul-08 13:34:16

Wow, what a snob!

To complain purely on the brand is just crass and rude.

combustiblelemon Mon 28-Jul-08 13:34:25

Yes, it was rude, but why are you sending her children clothes? I don't buy clothes from places like that either, not because I'm a snob, but because to keep prices so artificially low the chances are that they're using sweatshops. I'd rather pay more for something and wear it for longer/pass it on to other people than buy disposable fashion.

snowleopard Mon 28-Jul-08 13:34:44

Well, it was ungrateful and rude of her. BUT I do find people sending/giving DS clothes can be frustrating if they are nothing like what we/he likes, or not suitable in whatever way (eg he gets itchy skin on his back and needs soft waistbands and 100% cotton). Not on a snobby basis, but I do think it's a very personal thing. We have been given some great and funky stuff but it is hard to get right. I agree a book (especially if you discreetly include a receipt so they can swap it if they already have it) is a safer present.

LolaTheShowgirl Mon 28-Jul-08 13:35:15

It doesnt buy manners at all. The big house, nice car etc are all some big show to keep up with their artificial friends. I used to get snubbed by the mothers friends at the school gates because I was a common, northern girl, even tho I knew them well as they were always round for dinner parties and what have yer.

Kewcumber Mon 28-Jul-08 13:35:22

blimey she's a charmer shock

I sound posh and people alwyas commetn on how well turned out DS is (at the beginning of the day at least) - almost entirely on the back of charity shops, tesco, ebay, asda etc.

paolosgirl Mon 28-Jul-08 13:36:02

Very ill mannered of her, and shows her as someone who really has no social graces at all. Hard though it may be for you (and I can completely understand how it must be hurtful), try and rise above it and thank your lucky stars that you don't nanny for her any more. Truly posh people are not so fussy about labels - it's usually the ones who are <ahem> new to money who are so label conscious grin

LolaTheShowgirl Mon 28-Jul-08 13:37:13

I can understand where you are coming from combustible but they have loads of toys and she was being rude on the basis of being snobby not because she cares about people working for nothing in third world countries.

fruitful Mon 28-Jul-08 13:37:46

Well, if you got on really well with the dad, perhaps the email is not really about clothes? grin

Why are you sending them clothes? Perhaps the mum is offended by you sending parcels of clothes? Most small children don't really appreciate gifts of clothes, lets face it.

I get really fed up with people sending us clothes. They either don't fit, don't suit, fall apart on the first wash, or simply are not needed. Hate it. Then I have the job of hauling them to the charity shop. Again.

And as to the title - no, I don't think parents should be grateful for all the gifts they receive for their children. Most of the time the gifts are, as in your case, done for the benefit of the giver rather than the recipient. You enjoyed shopping for the clothes. They were no use to the mum and I doubt they were any fun for the kids. Its about you, not them. Why should she have to be grateful? Polite, yes, she should have been, but not grateful.

Mutt Mon 28-Jul-08 13:38:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TigerFeet Mon 28-Jul-08 13:42:09

I do agree that clothes aren't always the best present unless specifically asked for... every summer for the past couple of years MIL has bought dd seemingly hundreds of tshirts and we had far too many, but I would never be so rude as to tell her that George isn't good enough for my PFB. There are far nicer ways of refusing a gift - I have asked MIL to check what we need for dd so as to avoid repetition - and this year she has been more restrained

MrsTiddles Mon 28-Jul-08 13:42:37

I have to agree with Fruitful.

I think it was a bit harsh that you were sent such a dismissive email when your gesture towards them was about kindness and affection.

But I too hate having clothes bought for my children. I like to dress them how I want them to dress (until they're old enough to tell me to feck off of course)

I would save your money and just send them a card or a booktoken from time to time if you want to keep in touch.

paolosgirl Mon 28-Jul-08 13:43:12

Well, fruitful, instead of focusing of the tedium associated with hauling clothes to the charity shop, think instead of how the invaluable and essential work these charities do - and that by donating your unwanted items, you are directly supporting that work.

There - PMA grin

Kewcumber Mon 28-Jul-08 13:45:33

A quick trip to the charity shop and a polite note saying "thank for the lovely clothes but Tarquin has so many now that they really don't get worn much. We would prefer that you spent your hard earned money on yourself and just dropped us a note from time to time saying how you are"

IMVHO much nicer way to spot somone buying stuff you don't like.

combustiblelemon Mon 28-Jul-08 13:45:38

Then she's just a bitch Lola, and I wouldn't waste any more of your time thinking about it. Send them a book instead.

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