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am I ??? I feel as tho I am and yet it is a safety issue so why do I feel like this????

(15 Posts)
Psychomum5 Sun 27-Jul-08 21:35:59

DD1 is 14.

she has been out all day with her best friend for friend's 14th birthday, curfew was 9pm or at least ring me to tell me where you are.

9pm I get a phone call to say she is back at friends house (which is fine as it is the next road over), but that they all (there is 5 teens altogether including the friends brother and mate) want to go on a bike ride, can she go.

we say yes, as long as she is in well lit areas as the bike lights are currently with DD2 as she is on scout camp.

I have been made to feel as tho I am fussing and making a big deal.

I know, as a driver, how hard it is to see unlit bikes.......and especially how scary it is to come across teens who have minimal road sense no sense of danger.

the mum (who is a good friend), has just rung to 'calm me down'........and to ask if I knew that there are boys with them.

now, I knew there were boys, I specifically told DD1 to stay inbetween the boys as then she would at least be surrounded by bikes with lights.

I now find that NONE of them have lights, and yet I am the one being told that I am unreasonable to making a big deal.

am I???

am I really that scared about driving that I am not seein things straight anymore??

I am genuinely worried, but now also genuinely fretting that I am not seeing things normally anymore because of my own issues.


moulesfrites Sun 27-Jul-08 21:40:49

YANBU - and the other mother is odd to insist that your DD will be ok because "there are boys with them". Perpetuating gender stereotypes methinks.

Psychomum5 Sun 27-Jul-08 21:46:30

yes, thats true....altho I was too a little as I assumed that the boys would be more likely to have lights on their bikesblush.

still fretting.......

AbbeyA Sun 27-Jul-08 21:48:48

YANBU - as a driver I find bikes without lights a real worry-I don't think they realise the danger they are in.

zookeeper Sun 27-Jul-08 21:51:36

YANBU at all - a bunch of teenagers without lights on bikes in the dark is inviting an accident

Spidermama Sun 27-Jul-08 21:54:17

I'd be very worried. She was good to call your though so it's tricky. I don't think I'd fancy them going out with no bike lights. I know what you mean about cyclists being hard to see.

mylovelymonster Sun 27-Jul-08 21:55:12

YANBU at all. They're more likely than not to be fine though on lit roads and in a group. Will she be home soon??

RusselBrussel Sun 27-Jul-08 21:55:30

YANBU, but may I take this opportunity to ask why you only have one set of bike lights??

I am Dutch, and in Holland it is the law that all bikes have their own lights, in fact lights are built integral to or permanently attached to the bike, so a bike always have lights.

Own set of lights for her birthday I think, because then you can worry a little less smile

Janni Sun 27-Jul-08 21:55:37

YANBU - trust your very good instincts

amner Sun 27-Jul-08 21:58:32

I think eveyone is of the same opinion here.

Its a lesson learnt. Its unlikely they will have a problem.. but don't ever get yourself in a situation like this again over the sake of a couple of quid.

Psychomum5 Sun 27-Jul-08 22:01:12

we have never needed bike lights before now TBH as they have never gone riding in the dark. we got some for DD2 as she is on a cycling holiday camp with scouts and it was one of the conditions for her bike, we just never really thought about it for DD1.

we will be getting some for her tomorrow, believe me, especially if this is going to be a regular occurrance thro the summer!

she is still not back......time to ring the other mum me thinks.....

RusselBrussel Sun 27-Jul-08 22:05:27

Oh, Psycho, she will be fine, I am sure. Give the other mum a ring though, to put your mind at rest.
And deffo get some lights tomorrow smile

mylovelymonster Sun 27-Jul-08 22:09:40

Static lights, plus a set of front and rear flashing LEDs - more noticeable / gets attention of drivers more quickly.

(My hubby cycles. Great bod, but I worry about him a lot grin)

tearinghairout Sun 27-Jul-08 22:13:41


Is she back yet? Pushing the boundaries, eh?

Psychomum5 Sun 27-Jul-08 22:30:01

half hour chat with the other mum (talk for england you women, DH is sat muttering at meblush), and still not back, but they have been seen and heard by us both cycling around the couple of roads......the tow girls are all giggly and raging hormones as they are with three boys that are yr 11's...

not sure whether to be cross or whether to now find it all quite sweet with the young rush of boys crusheshmmwink.

they are at least safe, and I will be buying lights tomorrow!!!

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