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To not want mil to hold ds2 (8months) whilst still having her unexplained falls/dizzy spells?

(17 Posts)
2luvlyboys Sat 26-Jul-08 22:17:34

MIL has had a number of sudden falls over the last couple of months resulting in quite significant injuries. The most recent one was on sunday this one i saw from alittle way behind whilst walking with ds1 and pushing the pushchair. She just went thud on the ground. She was very distressed afterwards said she'd felt dizzy just before (was in quite abit of pain and ableeding nose.) Has had blood tests but they are all clear. Doesn't seem to be pushing it further the whole family is concerned for her. Thing is I feel that while these falls are happening she should not carry by ds2 (or DS1 aged 2 for that matter). Have discussed this with DH but feels it would offend/upset mil if he tells herthis. I feel that the safety of my children is more important than worrying about that. Besides she loves her dgs very much so surely she'd understand? If dh won't discuss this with mil I feel I should aibu? MIL not elderly by the way!

smallwhitecat Sat 26-Jul-08 22:22:27

Message withdrawn

MsHighwater Sat 26-Jul-08 22:22:39

Assuming she is a loving grandmother, she would surely be devastated if she was to have one of these episodes and injure one of her gc's in the process.

She definitely should be pushing the investigations to find out what is wrong but, in the meantime, better if she only cuddles the gc's while seated. I can understand your dh being uncomfortable about raising it but either he or you must do so (if she doesn't arrive at the same conclusion on her own first).

youfoolwoman Sat 26-Jul-08 22:25:32

Yes MsH I was going to suggest she's asked to sit down before holding baby too.

Bowddee Sat 26-Jul-08 22:27:20

Nothing to do with MIL carrying your DCs, but has she been tested for epilepsy? I just read it and it sounds like one of my seizures.
I agree with MsHighwater about the cuddling while seated.

PussinJimmyChoos Sat 26-Jul-08 22:28:55

YANBU My MIL has had both hips replaced and is unsteady on her feet - we don't let her hold DS for fear of her falling and to her credit, shes very aware that she isn't capable of holding him. So, we compromise by plonking him down on her lap when she wants a cuddle.

She should be pushing for the tests though - how is her BP - that maybe causing the dizzy spells and bleeding nose?

2luvlyboys Sat 26-Jul-08 22:29:46

I'm afraid she hasn't reached that conclusion. DH handed ds2 over to her this afternoon. I said to him afterwards what were you doing he said he forgot! AARRGH!!! SHe is a loving grandmother and would be truly devastated if anything happened to her gc's. I think she reasons each ones a one off!

Hannah81 Sat 26-Jul-08 22:35:15

could it just be menopause? that can cause dizzy spells can't it? YANBU btw, i would be very cautious too - make sure that if she isn't seated then you are very close at all times. must be a very difficult situation for you and I hope she gets it sorted out.

2luvlyboys Sat 26-Jul-08 22:39:43

No hannah she's way past that!!!!grin

Hannah81 Sat 26-Jul-08 22:49:54

ahh, its just u said she wasn't elderly - my mil is about menopause age now, thats why i asked. - she should push it further then, that seems quite worrying imo.

trefusis Sat 26-Jul-08 22:51:37

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QuintessentialShadows Sat 26-Jul-08 22:55:18

My mum cant carry my sons.
She can get plenty of cuddles sitting down!

giraffescantdancethetango Sat 26-Jul-08 22:58:41


floaty Sun 27-Jul-08 08:24:41

My dad started ghaving spells like this it was a balance thing to do with the inner ear called Meunieres disease.I would only let her hold baby if she is sitting down

2luvlyboys Sun 27-Jul-08 21:46:58

Thanx everyone for all your kind wishes towards my mil. I think part of the problem is that she has always been so family orientated and actively involved with my ds's lives. My sil and her family live in another part of the country. She loves organizing family events such as family meals (shes a great cook), days out and weekends away. (Big and small gatherings and wherever possible including my sils and her family.)

She babysits sometimes and sometimes takes my oldest out to the park etc for the afternoon. To suddenly go from such active involvement to having ds handed over for a cuddle on her lap would be very difficult for her to accept I think. However its a conversation we must have I feel and thanks for some of your suggestions!

2luvlyboys Sun 27-Jul-08 22:12:46

Infact since I put it like that I can see why dh thinks she'll be upset. DH has suggested we make sure someone is always with her if she carried the lo. But she was walking side by side with a relative when the fall happened last week but he couldn't stop her from falling was there though to deal with the aftermath (ie wiping up blood etc). I saw her fall dh didn't!

2luvlyboys Mon 04-Aug-08 21:08:08

Returning to this thread with an update. I didn't mention it to her as we haven't seen much of her over the last week or so. However, I think that she may have worked this one out for herself. PILs popped round yesterday. I was cooking a roast dinner, dh was upstairs (cant remember what he was doing) and ds2 was in his playpen. Mil gave ds1 a toy and asked where ds2 was. When she saw him in his playpen she just talked to him from behind the bars and passed him his new toy. Even when he got all excited at seeing her waving his arms about and started laughing, squealing with excitement she didn't pick him up just spoke to him whilst he was in his pen. Not even when ds2 started to cry and put his arms up did she pick him up. This would be unheard of normally she'd be there like a shot but thats another thread! Ofcourse I picked him up then!! So I think that she has worked all this out for herself. However her health is still a worry for us all and we really hope she finds out the cause of it all soon

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