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about some photos

(20 Posts)
fifibella Sat 26-Jul-08 16:50:20

I started a thread a few days ago about FIL putting some photos and a video of dd on friends reunited and not asking permission. Got some mixed replies, most saying that I was being unreasonable but a few saying that I wasn't. I know everyone's entitled to their opinion

Anyway I looked at the photo's further, dd's name is alongside the photos along with her birthday and also the place where they were taken. Also you can control who sees the photos (friends and family only, friends, relatives and accquaintances or all friends reunited members.) He has them so all friends reunited members can see them.

I am still quite worked up about this, I spoke to my mum who agrees that he should have asked first. She has told me to try and not get worked up about it as I am 7 months pg and she worries, but I can't help it. Maybe my hormones aren't helping.

I did mention it to dh and he says they're only photos. I think the thing is that I wouldn't dream of putting anyone elses photos on the internet for all to see and if I wanted to I would ask first.

I think I just need to know if anyone thinks I should ask him to control who sees them.

copingvquietly Sat 26-Jul-08 16:52:01

i would not be happy about this dont know who can access these pictures so you need to be asking that questions really.

brimfull Sat 26-Jul-08 16:52:12

I would ask him to control who sees them to put your mind at rest.I'm sure he won't mind will he?

Jux Sat 26-Jul-08 16:58:13

I think you could ask him to remove any identifying information about her. Is she in the background where she might not be noticed? If so, I wouldn't worry so long as her name etc were removed.

Uriel Sat 26-Jul-08 17:04:43

Well, call me unreasonable, but I would ask him to take them down.

If he didn't, he wouldn't be allowed access to any further photos/video opportunities.

LongLiveGreenElizabeth Sat 26-Jul-08 17:11:06

Well, I'm one of the people who thought you were over reacting to the pictures on the grounds that complete strangers see your daughter in the flesh everyday.

HOWEVER< if he has her picture, with her name, and her date of birth, and her sur name too, presuming she has your FIL's sur name,,,,,,,,, then I think that is too full a picture. There is a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny (so don't worry) chance that her identity could be used fraudulently. BUT, it's unlikely.

stitch Sat 26-Jul-08 17:13:37

i think you should ask him to set the privacy options.
however, i think that this is a huge huge issue. people need to realise that the copyright etc of the photo belongs to the person who took the photo. not the person in the photo.

fifibella Sat 26-Jul-08 17:14:35

Thank you. I feel much better now knowing that some people don't think I am being unreasonable. She is not in the background of any of the photos. They are all close ups of her and one of them has FIL in. He has 2 more videos to go on but they haven't been uploaded yet. I know they are of dd because her name is underneath the image where they will be.

stitch Sat 26-Jul-08 17:15:02

uriel, i callyou unreassonable, and ignorant of th elaw.
those are pictures he took. he owns them. he gets to decide what happens to them. not the person in th epicture. not her mother.
however, i think the mother is perfectly reasonable to ask him to set the privacy options.

Uriel Sat 26-Jul-08 17:21:15

Oh stitch, I'm so wounded! wink

stitch Sat 26-Jul-08 17:22:16

smile i didnt mean to wound you.
here , ahve a {hug}

Uriel Sat 26-Jul-08 17:23:12


milknosugar Sat 26-Jul-08 17:24:37

its not really a matter of the law tho, is it? he is upsetting a close family member and could easily rectify the situation by adding privacy settings. he prob doesnt realise how upset you are. just ask him. fgs you are a heavily pregnant woman with raging hormones. if they cant accomodate you know when will they? maybe ask mil if you think fil will take offence

Hannah81 Sat 26-Jul-08 17:32:21

ask him to take them down - IMO if anyone can see them, then anyone can befriend your dd and say they know her, that they are grandads friend etc... Consequences doesn't bear thinking about. I have fb, and would never put photos on with my children on just in case, even if the privacy settings are for friends only, if someone was intent on seeing them they will.

the law does state that it is up to the person who took the photo, but this is the OP's FIL - surely explaining your concerns he will also be concerned about his GD's safety not his pride.

stitch Sat 26-Jul-08 17:33:05

yes, but the famly member isnt tellin ghim , is she?
she is talking to her mom, getting worked up about it. talking to mnetters. but not him
it is a very very simple thing, setting up privacy options. but he may not know about them. and generally older people have a different attitude topictures. ie. less scared of them.
the op needs to stop talking to us, or her mother, and just ask him to put up the privacy options.

Hannah81 Sat 26-Jul-08 17:34:03

I dont think it matters if FIL takes offence - this is a mother worried about her childs safety - bugger the fil's feelings

Hannah81 Sat 26-Jul-08 17:36:11

privacy options mean nothing - have you not read / seen the news? if they want to see it they will. the best safety is for them not to be on the net at all

stitch Sat 26-Jul-08 17:39:58

hannah, perhaps we should all lock our children up in towers, so no harm can come to them?

Hannah81 Sat 26-Jul-08 17:45:00

That's just being silly - I'm talking about the stuff that happens directly from photos on the internet - how would you like it if a photograph of your child was doctored and used for paedophiles? Don't say it doesn't happen because it does. If something like that happend to photos of my children I would be devastated to think that if they weren't on there then it wouldn't have happened.

Hannah81 Sat 26-Jul-08 17:47:45

One of my DH's friend used to work for a company that tries to stop paedophile photos on the net and many have been doctored from sites like FB and FR. I would NEVER put my children's photos on there or their details - I have also asked friends to take down any photos of them.

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