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to be annoyed with the out-laws??

(6 Posts)
YumeeMumee Thu 24-Jul-08 10:10:10

My out-laws always moan that they don't see DS often enough [they live quite a way away] and that they 'won't see him grow up' BUT whenever I send email updates with pictures or send photos through the post, they never respond angry

I used to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe they hadn't picked up the message or that it had got lost in the post but when we DO see them and I ask about it, they say 'oh yes, we did get that' well, how about responding then!!?? Especially as I set up an email from DS so the message is coming from him.

I really hate it when they moan about not getting updates or seeing pics etc and then they don't seem interested that I've sent stuff.

The other annoying thing is that it's usually us that has to make the effort to go visit them for w/ends [sticking DS in the car for 4hrs] but they will still go about their usual routines whilst again moaning that we're only visiting for a short time aarrggg!!

Chocmad Thu 24-Jul-08 11:11:32

I know exactly where your coming from Yumeemumee, my in-laws constantly make snide comments about 'never seeing them', that 'they'll probably be in college before we visit them again' etc. They live 5 mins away - if they want to see them that badly it's really not hard - but my MIL excuse is that she can't drive around the one roundabout she needs to get to our house!!! At the end of the day it's not down to you to spend your free time travelling to see them - maybe suggest taking turns, one month you go, next month they come to you?? Time with YOUR family is precious so i don't blame you at all for being peeved. It's their loss at the end of the day smile

nametaken Thu 24-Jul-08 11:20:04

1. let your hubby do the contact, updates, e-mails, photo's etc.

2. tell them to come to you.

Your hubby's family, his job to keep everything ticking over smoothly, not yours, you've got enough to do with your own family.

cali Thu 24-Jul-08 11:23:45

Are we related by marriage YumeeMumee, could have sworn they were my outlaws you were describing grin

Jux Thu 24-Jul-08 11:25:48

Oh yes, MIL is exactly the same. I used to phone her with updates etc but she would always respond in such an uninterested tone and then immediately start talking about something else (usually completely inconsequential), that I stopped bothering, especially once dd wanted to make the phone calls and MIL was still uninterested. Seeing DD's excited little face when she said "oh grandma this happened...." falling to the depths of woebegone as MIL just interrupted and said "yes dear look at the pretty clouds" or something, became too much for me so I stopped bothering.

We had arranged weeks ago for dd to go and stay with them from this Sunday until Friday, and when dh rang this morning to confirm arrangements MIL had forgotten(!) and has arranged something immovable for all day Monday which dd won't be welcome at....

YumeeMumee Thu 24-Jul-08 18:05:32

chocmad I wish my family lived 5 mins being able to negotiate a roundabout is a naff excuse. I do agree with you...since having DS, I have learnt that spending time with my own family is far more important.

nametaken - if I let hubby do all the contact then nothing would get through...I do take your point and usually I would leave it to DH but for important events (starting nursery, new things, an outing etc) I will send something or if they've sent something in the post to DS then I will mail to thank them.

I periodically feel guilty tho and do something, then they show that they haven't changed and I stop again.

Jux - that's terrible...your poor DD....I would be sooo angry about that angry

My family aren't saints but they do take an active interest...tho if they didn't, then I feel like I could [and would] say something...hubby sometimes can't be arsed with his family re: this situation - I think cos it pees him off so I can't harp on about it too much sad

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