Bit of background detail:
Dh has 1 sister.
She is married but has no children yet.
Their grandma lives alone but most of her daily care falls to their aunt who lives close to her.
Over the course of last summer I had long holidays and went to visit her every day, taking my two children with me. I did her cleaning & made her dinners etc & this meant their aunt had a bit of a break too. During this time dh's sister visited once a week to carry out a specific task, stayed for 20 minutes and went home to 'cook dinner'. I like their grandma and she likes me.
Anyway, since then I have got a job, working long hours and don't have as much time. I call grandma from time to time & dh visits her when he can. Thing is, the whole family is off on holidays next month with just SIL & her dh, me & my DH staying in this country.
Grandma has started getting a bit forgetful & falling over & MIL & her sister talked about putting her into a home for the 3 weeks they will be away... grandma says no way, she has her own home & she wants to stay in it.
DH said that he is willing to take on his aunts responsibility of visiting her daily when he finishes work (about 6pm) and cooking for her, so that she gets to stay in her own home.
SIL has had a tantrum. Apparently MIL asked her to help DH when they are away & she said she isn't willing to take on the responsibility & that she would be better off in a home, she said she couldn't look after her properly and that she didn't see why she should have to.
She emailed me today with a whole string of abuse about why she shouldn't look after gran, how her dh thinks it would be too much for her...even suggesting that grandma went into a home permanently.
Now I have to admit that I didn't offer to visit gran every day (it was DH) as when I did it over the summer I somehow ended up with every single thing to do (shopping, cleaning, cooking, banking etc) And I just don't have the time do to that this time.
I feel angry at SIL who doesn't have a job, doesn't have any children to be at home for but doesn't feel like she can 'sacrafice the time' (her own words) to make sure gran is happy....
I am prepared to admit I am BU but at the minute my head can't get round the fact she is angry at dh for offering to help!!
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
Or is my SIL being selfish?
23 replies
WallOfSilence · 22/07/2008 21:37
OP posts:
TenaciousG ·
22/07/2008 22:10
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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