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to want a photo of DS and me together?

(55 Posts)
youcannotbeserious Mon 21-Jul-08 18:57:42

DS is now 9 weeks old and I still don't have one photo of he and I together.

I had some taken in the hospital but the company who took them (ImageThirst - let them bl**dy sue me) were b*ggers and pretty much refused to let me see the photos unless I had more taken (obviously too worried that I might really just take the freebie)

I'm on my own all week and am taking loads of (lovely, wonderful) photos of DS.

At weekends, I take then of DS adn DH (though DH isn't too keen on this). I also have photos of DS with DSD1, DSD2, DDog, my mother, my father, my sister, my BIL.... But not me.

I have suggested a photographer, but DH thinks it's too expensive and not neccessary. (I don't work, he does, so it's his money not mine!)

But, DS is nearly 10 weeks old now and I still don't have one even half decent photo of us together (Only ones have been taken by me holding the camera out in front of me and using the 'point and press' technique..)

It's not unreasonable is it? Are there any photographers out there who would take a set of digi. photo for me for less than £200?

meemar Mon 21-Jul-08 18:59:09

I am confused - why can't your DH take a photo of you and the baby?

RubySlippers Mon 21-Jul-08 19:00:32

get your DH to take one - get your slap on and do it when your LO is in a good mood and job done

2point4kids Mon 21-Jul-08 19:00:56

Ask your DH, your Mum, your Dad, sister, bil and anyone else you see to take one of you when they are there?
Every time you take a pic just turn round and say 'oh can you do one of me too now please?'
Once you get in the habit of it, you'll have loads!

2point4kids Mon 21-Jul-08 19:02:00

In fact I bet there are loads of you and the baby in other peoples cameras from when they've visited you! Ask them all to email you their nice pics.

wheresthehamster Mon 21-Jul-08 19:02:10

And it's not HIS money...... grrrr

milknosugar Mon 21-Jul-08 19:02:23

first off its not his money its family money. secondly i dont understand why he cant take them, if he wont (?) get a friend or family member to take them. or just ring round every photo company you can find in the yellow pages. in fact try googling, i got a set of photos for something like £25, of course they want you to buy more but you dont have to, if you have paid anything you are entitled to the one they agreed to.

Alambil Mon 21-Jul-08 19:10:49

It's your (collective) money if you're in a relationship together!

Is he allergic to holding a camera?! Why can't he take a few snaps??!

youcannotbeserious Mon 21-Jul-08 19:26:18

he doesn't like taking photos.

I've asked my mum and dad but they don't like using my cmera and don't own a digital onee...

i'm on my own all week and weekends when DH are busy with his DDs etc.,

it's not going to happen. have been on about it since i realised the hospital photo wasn't going to come off...

And I do appreciate what you are saying about money, but I earned my own money until the day DS was born (LITERALLY) and I don't feel comfortable spending £300 on a photogapher when DH has told me not to (well, not TOLD me not to, but made it very clear that he doesn't want the photos.) I need some digital ones - not the sort of thing venture does, as I don't want something for the wall... just something for me.

I'm not BU, am I? PLease tell me I'm not!

BrownSuga Mon 21-Jul-08 19:29:36

get one of those small gorillapod tripods, set it up on self timer and take them yourself. Take loads to get in the right frame on photo, then delete the crap ones. That's what I do as DH is useless at remembering to take pics of me and DS. Even before we had him, looking at pics after a holiday, it was like I hadn't even been there!

BrownSuga Mon 21-Jul-08 19:30:59

I also went the private photog route, she only charged £25 for an hour session and included 1 free 10x8 print.

OverMyDeadBody Mon 21-Jul-08 19:31:21

oh for goodness sake, just give him the bloody camera and tell him to take some photos! How mean is this guy?

Ewe Mon 21-Jul-08 19:39:23

Where do you live? I didn't have any pics of me with DD until she was a couple of months old - I was rather glad as I looked like shit most of the time!

BalloonSlayer Mon 21-Jul-08 19:39:34

I sympathise!

I have struggled to get a decent one of me & DS2 either.

A couple of times I have asked DH to take a photo asking anxiously "do I look OK?" beforehand.

"You look lovely," he has replied gallantly. Bless.

Then I have seen the picture. Aaargh. Hair all over the place, lopsided tits, you name it. In one case my jumper was still rucked up from breastfeeding and acres of horrendous stomach like uncooked pastry were rampaging across the picture.

He always says he "didn't notice." And this is a man who always tells me if my bra strap shows in real life or if my label is sticking out of the back of my top.

He took a good one of me in hospital but DS2's fontanelle is really showing and he looks like a Klingon baby.

I got a nice one taken of us both last week. DS2 is 10 months.

Do not give up hope grin

youcannotbeserious Mon 21-Jul-08 19:42:28

OMDB - You obviously haven't ever met my DH.

"just give him the bloody camera and tell him to take some photos"

And you will be told "No"

What part of that don't you get????

As I said, he's home for 48 hours a week, most of that taken up with other stuff, so it's hardly easy to fit in the odd (Unwanted) photoshoot...

Brownsuga I like that idea, though... Not sure how to set the self timer, but it can't be that hard!!

milknosugar Mon 21-Jul-08 19:42:36

wanting a photo - yanbu

allowing him and your parents to get away with this - totally ridiculous. tell him if he wont take pics then you will have to pay for some. ball is in his court. ring round local photographers and ask for best deal,. let him know how much it will be costing your family. or turn it into a girlie thing, get dressed up and get a mate to take some then have a few drinks and have a laugh at the not so good ones. where do you live? i will come round and take some for you

Hannah81 Mon 21-Jul-08 19:51:28

dont spend rediculous amounts of money on photographers. get a dark sheet and pin it to your fireplace if you have one - or over the backs of some chairs - then drape it on the floor - i'm saying dark because if you choose to have it in b+w then the darker the backdrop, the more flattering it is to skin tone. get someone to take some pictures of you together. put them on the computer and you can adjust the colours there especially if you have photoshop (def worth investing in - you can get it cheaper too if you know what i mean wink)

then experiment with light/white sheets - its amazing how it changes the pic just by having a plain backdrop.
need any more advice just let me know i'm really in to my photography!

hope it helps

Ewe Mon 21-Jul-08 19:52:41

Am sure someone on here lives nearby and could take a couple of pics of you...

Roughly where are you?

OverMyDeadBody Mon 21-Jul-08 19:54:18

I just can't get my head around why he is saying no though. How mean is the guy?

Why would someone refuse to do something simple that their own partner and mother of their children wants? Why would you be with someone who could be so unnecesarily mean and selfish? I bet you do things for him that you'd rahter not do don't you? So withhold one of those thigs until he takes some photos.

Hannah81 Mon 21-Jul-08 19:54:57

if he point blank won't take the photo - ask a neighbour, i'm sure he'll be embarrased enough to oblige then.

youcannotbeserious Mon 21-Jul-08 19:57:08

I'm just outside Watford.........

OMDB - I know what you are saying, but this is a long story.... I've posted in 'Bereavment' for more details if you are interested.

OverMyDeadBody Mon 21-Jul-08 19:59:55

Ok, so does that mean there is a reason behind his avoidance of taking photos? I'm sorry if so. But in that case he shouldn't be so stingy and should fork out for some.

But how old ar your SCs? Could they hold a camera steady enough to take some photos? If it's digital they could take loads and I'm sure you'd get a few good ones.

youcannotbeserious Mon 21-Jul-08 20:01:57

Balloonslayer - grin

You know what I mean - this is what will happen if I force DH (Or DM or DF) to take a picture - I will get one which has zero input into it and I / DS or both of us will look like crap....

Mamatastic Mon 21-Jul-08 20:03:19

I too don't understand why he won't take your photo. Would he not want to do it if it makes you happy? What is his reason for not taking one?

What about a mate or someone else to take one? Surely someone else in your family would oblige if you asked them esp if you have just taken one of them with DS?

It also sounds a bit odd why he's also reluctant to have his photo taken with DS.

You sound a bit scared to ask him (?). If all else fails though use the self timer, I have loads of me and DS this way

Hannah81 Mon 21-Jul-08 20:03:38

I've read you post, it must be very very hard for you, and understanadbly so for him too. But you need to hsave photos of you and your little one, he needs to move on. nothing will ever replace his DS1, but he has to move on for the sake of your son. if he still refuses to take the photo, could you ask a family member to come over while he is at work perhaps? I'm sure you'd also love to have a photo as a family too. maybe if you got a family member to come around you could set up as i suggested and coax him to have one taken with you too. maybe if there is a family member there too he will be more likely to sit in too. he will regret it if he doesn't.
keep trying x

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