Love her to bits but she can drive me to distraction, but I am worried about how our relationship will develop when my first DD is born in August.
Mum is already gran to two neices but has a tricky relationship with DB and his wife.
SIL is much closer with her family, geographically and emotionally than our family is.
Mum is involved in their life but always seems to think that SILs family is getting a better deal and she is being left out.
What I find difficult is that she moans to me about it. I can see that DB can be a bit tactless, but mum always seems to focus on what she doesn't have rather than what she does.
She also compares her relationships to those of her friends and their DCs and DGCs and always finds fault.
Now she is doing this with me.
We live overseas. DH's family are coming to visit for 4 weeks across my due date. They organised this with DH and it isn't what I would have chosen. If I could I would choose to have a couple of weeks getting used to the new baby and then have visitors, but truth be told it will be handy to have other people around as DH is working non-stop in our business.
DH has also promised to mediate between me and PIL, who are lovely but can be very enthuthiastic, so that they don't overwhelm.
At first I said mum could come two weeks after my due date but have now changed it to the week later - it is better for us.
When I told her she went into her "I wanted to be there for the birth" and "it would be nice to be wanted" routine with a quick chorus of "my friends families"
It wouldn't matter where I had this baby I would never want my mum there for the birth, it is something for me and DH, of course can't say that as just upsets her more.
So now she feels that DH's family are being a favourite and she is left out. I tried to point out that my dad isn't coming out till Ocotber and the poor fellow always seems to be second after her, but never complains.
GAH parents eh?
The upshot is that I find it very hard to keep my cool with her when she starts bemoaning her life and being a bit of a martyr. I know these are her problems but it does make me so cross.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to get so cross with my mum for not appreciating what she does have.
5 replies
Steaknife · 21/07/2008 17:35
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.