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For looking forward to the time when ds is no longer a baby?

(64 Posts)
peggotty Sun 20-Jul-08 20:54:22

I have discovered that I really really don't enjoy the 'baby stage'. I didn't with dd who was an 'easy' baby, and so far the 1st six months of ds' life have left me a stressed out, physical and emotional wreck. I hate the obssessing about what he eats/how much he sleeps etc etc etc. I won't be having any more children so part of me thinks I should be attempting to enjoy his babyhood, but you know what, I just can't. I am looking forward to him being a toddler (yes, even tantrums etc), being able have a conversation with him, read him proper stories, watch him and dd play together (especially that part grin. Am I going to regret feeling this way?

whatdayisit Sun 20-Jul-08 20:56:38

No I don't think you'll regret it. I can barely remember my Ds's babyhood beyond the fact that it was really really hard. I could do without the 1st 12 months too.

AbbeyA Sun 20-Jul-08 20:58:41

Don't wish it away-when you look back it is very short.

RhinestoneCowgirl Sun 20-Jul-08 20:59:52

I foudn the first 12 months hard work, DS fairly sweet but not great company. He's 2 now and much more fun (albeit with the odd tanty thrown in).

I'm pg again and not really looking forward to the newborn bit...

eddiejo Sun 20-Jul-08 21:00:02

Yes I think you will (sorry) Having just spent most of this am sorting out both my DSs clothes into ages etc - I long for that baby stage again!!!!!!

I do understand if they are difficult tho. My DS5 only slept thru two weeks before birth of DS2 and now that one rarely sleeps thru too !!!

I think it will have a lot to do with the amount of work that two children give you. Nobody warns you it's literally twice as much work!!hmm

angel1976 Sun 20-Jul-08 21:00:49

I hated every day of my DS's first 3 months (he's almost 5 months now). He cried every day and I was a complete wreck. I'm loving it now that he is more responsive and I worry less about SIDS etc BUT I am so looking forward to when he can sit up etc... If I have another baby, I can so see that I would be dying to get through the first few months again... So you are not alone in feeling that way. Added to that, my DH is not a 'baby baby' person and the first few months had been such a strain on our relationship too...

peggotty Sun 20-Jul-08 21:00:52

I know it's short - I remember that from dd being a baby (now 3) but tbh, the fact it is short is what keeps me going some days!

peggotty Sun 20-Jul-08 21:03:10

It probably all boils down to whether you are a 'baby' person or not...

Nappyzoneneedsanewname Sun 20-Jul-08 21:03:53

My ds is always whiney - hes trying to talk and i cant wait till we can communicate a bit more properly instead of him throwing himself down when he just doesnt get the get it or i dont get the get it. I love him dearly but roll on when hes 3! 3 is ace!

21 months cute early rising monster is making me a wrinkly wreck.

motherinferior Sun 20-Jul-08 21:06:31

No, sweetie, you're not. If it's too stressful to enjoy, it's too stressful - fwiw I still remember, with absolutely homicidal rage, the people who used to stop me and tell me sanctimoniously to 'enjoy it while it lasts' during the first incredibly tough months of DD1's life.

Tell you something, school age children are adorable. Mine are five and seven, and I love them passionately. And they wipe their own bottoms. grin.

eddiejo Sun 20-Jul-08 21:08:04

3s are worse than 2s!!! They don't just have wobblys but are able to reason abit too and it escalates much more. Mine was the meister (?SP) reasoner and can now talk his way out of anything.

peggotty Sun 20-Jul-08 21:10:06

MI - babies are just one long endurance test for me. Also, hate that 'enjoy it while it lasts' crap, but I always smile and say 'oh yes I will' [hypocrite emoticon], instead of answering 'actually I can't bloody well wait til it's over'

beansprout Sun 20-Jul-08 21:12:27

Having a baby is a very hard and blardy relentless business. Ds2 is 6mo and extremely contented, smiley etc but it's such a round the clock business. Hormones keep me locked in but other than that, there's not a huge amount to recommend it.

motherinferior Sun 20-Jul-08 21:12:48

I think everyone has a stage they find incredibly tough. I am really surprised by how much I am enjoying my lovely girls at the moment: genuine enjoyment, you can laugh and joke and that endless responsibility is so much lighter. We leave the house by, you know, bellowing WE'RE GOING NOW I SAID NOW COME ON NOW WE'RE GOING NOW!!!!!...and off we go. Very simple.

motherinferior Sun 20-Jul-08 21:14:28

I remember, actually, when DD1 was about, oooh, seven weeks old. I was breastfeeding her in a baby-stuff shop, and this pregnant woman asked me how old my daughter was. I told her, and she looked at me dippily and said 'oooh, I suppose it goes so fast'...

...and I looked up at her, grey-faced with baggy exhaustion and said, with the sincerity that comes only from utter despair, 'No. This has been the slowest seven weeks of my life.'

beansprout Sun 20-Jul-08 21:17:15

I remember someone telling me when ds1 was a week old that it gets better when they get to 6 weeks. They may have been talking to me about something that would happen when I was 70. I thought that time would never come!

peggotty Sun 20-Jul-08 21:17:46

I do find myself watching families with older children wistfully sometimes! Think today has been so bad because dh insisted that we all went for a walk then lunch at a country pub. Lovely, except ds whinged most of the walk in his backpack and then we had to gobble down our food while taking turns to jiggle ds about on our knees to stop his grizzle developing into a full blown wail. It was the sort of day that is suited to older children!

DontCallMeBaby Sun 20-Jul-08 21:18:26

Snap, MI - all those comments of 'I bet you can't believe she's a whole year old' around DD's first birthday. I can, I said, it's been the longest year of my life. Probably because I've spent so much more of it AWAKE than any preceding year.

peggotty Sun 20-Jul-08 21:21:18

Oh, all that 'it gets better at x months/weeks'. My hopes are raised at every one of these proclamations, only to be disappointed when he doesn't miraculously change! Actually, 6 months has been a distinct improvement.

beansprout Sun 20-Jul-08 21:21:27


madamez Sun 20-Jul-08 21:24:00

Not unreasonable at all: everything depends on your individual baby, your lifestyles, the type of people you are etc. THink how much sadder it would be to only like the baby stage...

morningpaper Sun 20-Jul-08 21:26:22


I recall a mother in a park saying to me when I was pushing a nine month old baby "It goes so fast doesn't it?" and I said "Yes - thank fuck!"

Sorry but I found the baby stage so so hard and stressful. I LOVE toddlers, and I LOVE my 5 year old - they are SOOOOooo fabby and these are the years I am revelling in and enjoying a GREAT DEAL.

Caz10 Sun 20-Jul-08 21:26:48

hi pegotty, i keep clicking on thread titles that i identify with and finding you have started them!! grin

still no sleep here either...6mths came and went without our improvement sad

dd is an adorable baby by day, but i am looking forward to when she is older too

motherinferior Sun 20-Jul-08 21:32:29

Five year olds. I tell you, five year olds are where it's at. I could eat every one of DD2's five year old friends, they are so adorable.

noonki Sun 20-Jul-08 21:33:37

I love the baby stage but my mum dislikes it immensely,

and though she tries so hard to hide it with each one of her grandchildren, we now all wait for her to go 'phew they can walk/speak/stop having heads a third of the size of their bodies... now lets have some fun' and out of nowhere she starts loving them to bits!!

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