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To tell me friend to discuss the fact she's had a coil put in with her husband and not me?

(21 Posts)
dilemma456 Sat 19-Jul-08 20:26:10

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TheHedgeWitch Sat 19-Jul-08 20:36:07

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noonki Sat 19-Jul-08 20:42:08

had you said discuss with him as well as me you would be being reasonable

but not with you is a bit harsh,

fanjolina Sat 19-Jul-08 20:49:59

Yes, YABU. Friends should be willing to have such conversations with each other.

aGalChangedHerName Sat 19-Jul-08 20:51:35

You should have been available to talk and listen. That's what friends are for surely?

WigWamBam Sat 19-Jul-08 20:53:06

Well, yes - of course she should be talking to her husband.

But that doesn't preclude her from talking to you, too. You're meant to be her friend, when all's said and done - she wasn't asking for relationship advice, she was confiding in you.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Sat 19-Jul-08 20:53:30

If you are friends with the dh too then YWNBU. (Looks like I may be alone with that view though!)

expatinscotland Sat 19-Jul-08 20:54:13


mosschops30 Sat 19-Jul-08 20:54:34

Im kind of glad youre not my friend hmm what sort of things is she allowed to talk to you about??

IMHO you can talk to your friends about anything and everything and them to you, thats why theyre friends

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Sat 19-Jul-08 20:55:37

"IMHO you can talk to your friends about anything and everything and them to you, thats why theyre friends"

No I don't agree. Everyone has some sort of subject which they don't want to 'go there' if their views are too different.

orangehead Sat 19-Jul-08 20:55:54

If I was a friend of the husband also (dont know if op is) I would feel very uncomfortable put in the position of knowing she is deceiving her dh

expatinscotland Sat 19-Jul-08 20:56:36

you may have done her DH more of a favour if you'd listened to her about why she doesn't want kids.

there could be some reasons that could be worked out.

unfitmother Sat 19-Jul-08 20:56:37

If she is a good friend YABU. If she is an aquaintance, or worse still a mutual friend, YANBU.

LazyLinePainterJane Sat 19-Jul-08 20:56:47

I think that your friend clearly needs some support, there are obviously issues in her relationship.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Sat 19-Jul-08 20:56:53

Agree orangehead.

It's like if a friend told me she was having an affair and the dh was a friend of mine as well... nope don't want to know.

orangehead Sat 19-Jul-08 20:57:19

Did'nt realise you already posted that jim grin

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Sat 19-Jul-08 20:57:56

I'm glad you said it, was beginning to think I was alone

dilemma456 Sat 19-Jul-08 20:59:18

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orangehead Sat 19-Jul-08 21:11:18

Just a thought, if a mnetter was on the ttc boards and desperately wanted a baby then after a while she found out that dh had secretly had the snip wouldnt we all be saying 'what a pig'.

traceybath Sat 19-Jul-08 21:16:45

I think its fair enough to tell her to speak to her DH.

What she's doing is really unfair.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Sat 19-Jul-08 21:24:50

you are right she should tell her husband but she also should be able discuss any issues/worrys she has with her friends (you). so yabu telling her that she shouldnt be discussing it with you! thats what friends are for! you tell them whats bothering you and they give you advise and support.

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