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To think single mums (and dads) mainly do a great job?

(39 Posts)
dilemma456 Fri 18-Jul-08 22:13:04

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MrsTicklemouse Fri 18-Jul-08 22:19:14

I completely agree, DH has just joined the army and has been away for 6 weeks now, training, we have two DS's nearly 3 and 6 months. its tough, bloody tough, having to deal with all the tantrums and tears on my own and constantly multi tasking is a lot more draining than i ever imagined!! i have huuuge respect for single parents.

Mutt Fri 18-Jul-08 22:20:06

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retiredgoth Fri 18-Jul-08 22:25:49

Indeed.

I too, am plainly heroic and splendid....

...but all four of my boys are available on free transfers to any bugger a good home.....

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife Fri 18-Jul-08 22:28:18

Single parents Are. Awesome. Word.

sophiebbb Fri 18-Jul-08 22:29:43

I was chatting to my DH about this the other night. I have DS 19 mths and DD 2 mths. My DH is a bloody marvel - he is usually home for bathtime - he does one and I do the other, then sits me down and cooks me dinner. He gets up at 7am at the weekend to play with DS so I can feed DD in peace and have a lie in. He even brings my breakfast up. I also have no family nearby but have someone to come and help me two days a week (I am lucky enough to be getting my maternity pay for 9 mths)

I said to him the other night that I couldn't do it without him and have no idea how single parents manage, especially if they are also under financial constraints.

Respect from me.....

chocolatespiders Fri 18-Jul-08 22:30:09

i am lone parent and find it very very tough but also very very enjoyable smile

It isnt a life path i would have chose but for the most part we are ok..

mylovelymonster Fri 18-Jul-08 22:30:13

Well I have one DD and a DH who is great with her, and I can't imagine how I would do it if I was on my own, physically or emotionally, not to mention financially, and my mum was on her own with three of us, so yes, I think they're bloody amazing.

2shoes Fri 18-Jul-08 22:31:40

yanbu
some are brilliant, especially the ones on her.
but the man up the road is not

lucylue Fri 18-Jul-08 22:31:59

it is very nice of you dilemma456 to think about single parents.
i really appreciate that.
to me being single parent is the most difficult job in the world, especially if you dont have any support around you.
and nobody can understand it if they dont live it. i wouldnt wish it to anyone.

Mutt Fri 18-Jul-08 22:32:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaG Fri 18-Jul-08 22:33:43

as if anybody is going to say YABU

YABAK

(you are being ass kisser)

wink

Mutt Fri 18-Jul-08 22:35:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 22:36:15

<hugs dilemma456 a little too enthusiastically>

YANBU of course.

I thank you, it's noce to get some recognition every now and then!grin

LongLiveGreenElizabeth Fri 18-Jul-08 22:36:25

Yes!!!! We DO do a great job.

However,,, I read the relationship board and the AIBU board and I think how much easier life is without a partner. I know people don't post about their lovely husbands though.

LongLiveGreenElizabeth Fri 18-Jul-08 22:37:32

It's true Mutt. That takes a lot of the stress and resentment out of daily life.

davidtennantsmistress Fri 18-Jul-08 22:38:26

agree mutt - or someone trying to nick the remote. (ticks list off fingers) - or nicking the duvet - well apart from DS

mrsT - that's the hardest thing about being a forces family as well (XH is amry)

he was away all the time and I mean every other week (from aug 06 to sept 07 when we split) the longest spell he had at home was 7 week, other than that it was weekends only. and that if yu ask me is 100 times harder than what we have now - I know we're not in a relationship now, but he/I/DS all knows where we stand and we all play our parts, prior to this I was like a single mum but had the H coming home throwing his weight around and I was resenting him cos after all he din't see DS all week so why should he get to shout at him iycwim. it's a harder life I think as a forces wife, as you're mum & dad, but then when he comes back just mum - it's hard to re adjust all the time.

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 22:41:20

Yes, it's more stressful in some ways but at least we don;t have to put up with the stuff some people with horrible partners put up with.

and we can spend all of friday evening on MN grin

retiredgoth Fri 18-Jul-08 22:42:01

.....it is little things that are difficult. For example I ran out of milk at 8pm tonight....

Two 7 year olds asleep, one 9 year old out, 11 year old on computer.

Do I have tantrums in the morning when there is no milk for cereal, or do I leave them alone for 15 minutes?

..well they will have bovine lactation come the morrow.

I am a bad man.

....and thank you for the thoughtful post, "dilemma"

WorzselMummage Fri 18-Jul-08 22:42:08

It must be fucking hard work. respect!

FAQ Fri 18-Jul-08 22:45:52

I had a really surreal moment the other day.

I'm lucky in that although I'm a single mum, I do have a lot of support at church (where I'm involved in lots of stuff),

Was playing the piano for the after school kids service the other day and came and offered to look after DS3 (nearly 14 months - and now properly walking) for me so he wasn't trying to "help" me and I could concentrate on what I was doing.

They went and sat opposite me and DS3 did what any normal baby that age would do (wanting to go anywhere he shouldn't and get hold of anything he shouldn't). A few of the other parents took it on turns to stop his causing too much mayhem and I found myself sitting there subconciously thinking "that little boy is really hard work" (he wasn't being grumpy or anything, was quite happy).

Then I stopped suddenly in my thoughts and realised "he's mine" and I look after him day in, day out (along with his 2 older brothers) on my own.

Suddenly had an rather blush swell of pride that I was doing it on my own and actually am not doing a bad job really.

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 23:26:21

retired goth, do what I do, tell them in the morning that you are going out for a breakfast picnic, leg it with them ot the local shop, buy some croussants (how the hell do you spell that word?) and eat on a park bench somewhere (unl;ess it's raining of course, in which case, ignore me)

OverMyDeadBody Fri 18-Jul-08 23:26:55

I get that feeling too FAQ, of 'he's mine'.

FAQ Fri 18-Jul-08 23:27:15

or give them toast grin

I remember sobbing at my HV about 2 weeks after DD was born when I was struggling (and I have DH and both sets of family on tap) and saying to her "How the Hell do single parents cope?" Her response "I still have yet to work that out. They're amazing"

I totally agree with her

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