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in expecting my 4 month old baby to respond best to me?

(10 Posts)
xena04 Fri 18-Jul-08 20:00:31

am living with my parents in law for the duration of my maternity leave.......which is fine.... but now my baby seems to reserve all her coos and gurgles for the mil..gets me so mad and so j that horrible

amethyst86 Fri 18-Jul-08 20:07:28

No, not at all I would be pretty pissed off as well. My DS often tells me he loves Grandma the best sad. Luckily though dd loves only me and is not interested in anyone else at all so that cushions the blow.

MrsTiddles Fri 18-Jul-08 20:09:21

well you are the only real constant for her, so you will be noticed more if you leave and needed more if she hurts herself and loved more, so be glad that she is social and smart enough to charm the others in her life. smile

callmeovercautious Fri 18-Jul-08 20:13:23

You are wallpaper - that is what my Mum told me when I complained about the same thing. DD would grin at complete strangers but got bored of me very early on grin

She loves you above all else but you are a bit dull compared to all these mad Grandparents who spoil her and do silly things all day. My Mum told me I would smile at the clock more than her at that age grin

HonoriaGlossop Fri 18-Jul-08 20:40:57

yes, YABU

YANBU in 'feeling' it a bit but I second callmeovercautious; my ds reserved his coos, smiles and talks for his RATTLE which came free on a pack of pampers hmm

the thing is, not to make it all about YOU

take joy in your baby being happy, it doesn't have to be directed at you to be heartwarming smile

tigerlily1980 Fri 18-Jul-08 20:48:21

I also lived with my mother in law for a few months when my twins were babies. I never really noticed that they smiled more at her but she would take great delight in telling me that they did, and that they looked at me "funny". She would also say things to them like "Who loves you best!" shock

I can really identify with what you say because mother in law used to make me feel like I was second best, so when they did smile at her I used to feel pangs of resentment and jealousy.

tori32 Fri 18-Jul-08 21:08:44

No, YANBU. With babies they pick up on tension though. My dd1 has always only been pacified by her dad. When she was born he had the first skin to skin contact and even though I bf for 6wks she would only settle with him if it was anything other than feeding that she needed. I was very [jealous] and sad but I think this made it worse. DD2 however, is my girl and hasn't bonded so much with DH. If you relax and be natural and not OTT forced smiles etc things will get better. If you feel down she will know when a smile is fake and not respond iyswim. Try sitting her on your knee and play this silly game.
sit baby facing you on your knees holding her under her arms.
the farmers horse goes trot, trot,trot. lift knees up and down like a horse trotting at the trot part.
the laydees horse goesmnmnmnmn

tori32 Fri 18-Jul-08 21:12:14

sorry pressed too soon
laydees horse goes min u min u min u (fast) and wiggle legs side to side.
then say
the gentlemans horse a gallop a gallop a gallop a off his horse and when you say off his horse drop her between your legs. Smile while you do the rhyme and I gaurantee after a few times it will make her laugh every It has both my dd's in stitches. grin

tori32 Fri 18-Jul-08 21:14:22

oh and on the galloping bit you bounce her high off your knees iyswim.

cory Sat 19-Jul-08 10:51:52

Being a mother is all about developing nerves of steel. You need them for the teenage years. This is the start.

No seriously though- your dd is not doing this to annoy you or because she has bonded with your ILs and not with you. She'd probably be equally happy to coo and gurgle at the postman if you were living at home. Just keep on loving her and enjoying her. In the end, you are her Mum and nobody else can be.

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