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to refuse to meet with this person alone?

(17 Posts)
dilemma456 Fri 18-Jul-08 10:24:01

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SSSandy2 Fri 18-Jul-08 10:26:51

can you he not meet with one male colleague instead? Why does it have to be just you? I wouldn't do it

Lauriefairycake Fri 18-Jul-08 10:27:20

I wouldn't, and your gut instinct is usually right.

I had a client contact me once for private therapy and he didn't want to give his name and address beforehand - I didn't meet with him.

Basic safety rules having someone else "around" - in Samaritans we see clients alone but there is always someone in the next room - and we have an alarm bell

plantsitter Fri 18-Jul-08 10:27:32

YA most definitely NBU. Trust your instincts. Don't do it.

flamingtoaster Fri 18-Jul-08 10:28:33

As plantsitter says trust your instincts on this one.

Purplepillow Fri 18-Jul-08 10:29:06

Yanbu but you already know that. If in doubt?(which you are) don't do it.

LilRedWhiskGers Fri 18-Jul-08 10:29:27

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. If you are not comfortable, then refuse meeting.

Totally different scenario, but I worked in marketing and part of my job was to take photos of new employees for the company intranet. One guy kicked off massively about me invading his privacy and wanted a 'private' meeting to discuss it. All the guys in my department got very protective and we had the private meeting - in a glass fronted office, with three male colleagues stood outside looking through the glass the whole time.

He was a very scary man and the situation ended with personnel telling him to stay away from me and me being told that if he ever entered an office I was in, then I should leave immediately.

wannaBe Fri 18-Jul-08 10:31:32

what is the nature of your job?

When you say it's confidential information, would not having the information be detremental to someone else? or is it more confidential in a therapy sense of the word?

Yanbu to have alarm bells ringing about this, but is there a way you can compromise? i.e. have a colleague in room next door but without this man's knowledge?

LilRedWhiskGers Fri 18-Jul-08 10:31:34

Shortly after this the company introduced psychometric tests...

Lauriefairycake Fri 18-Jul-08 10:33:54

bloody hell lilredwhisgers shock

dilemma456 Fri 18-Jul-08 10:35:05

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dilemma456 Fri 18-Jul-08 10:35:48

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SSSandy2 Fri 18-Jul-08 10:38:20

Does he have to meet with someone personally, he cannot give you this information in writing or anything?

LilRedWhiskGers Fri 18-Jul-08 10:39:38

It wasn't particularly nice, but he didn't stay more than six months (a major competitor offered him a job and he was given GLOWING references to get rid of him)!

An interesting twist was that my DH was his team leaderhmm. Everyone agreed that he was the sort of guy you can imagine seeing on the news for turning up at the office with a sawn off shot gun and opening fire.

HonoriaGlossop Fri 18-Jul-08 10:44:10

YANBU. I take it you're part of an organisation? In which case basically the confidentiality you offer is within the organisation, rather than total, anyway? So it doesn't matter whether he tells you alone or with someone present, basically.

But anyway, YANBU and I wouldn't meet with him alone either!

lou031205 Fri 18-Jul-08 10:53:07

Alarm bells do ring for a reason. I suppose if your organisation was the type to use recording equipment, you could have someone nearby listening in for trouble?

lou031205 Fri 18-Jul-08 10:54:14

Or if he wants to stay annonymous, you could conduct a telephone interview?

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