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to compare mate's DDs private school reports with my DDs state one?

(44 Posts)
NigellaTheOriginal Thu 17-Jul-08 19:00:34

and to snigger because they are virtually identical. grin. DD may go to a crap school, may be below average and not working to her potential but at least i'm not forking out 10 grand a year for it. grin grin

Lauriefairycake Thu 17-Jul-08 19:02:08

oh god, this will so kick off

don't compare out loud wink just privately be pleased and/or smug or something

foofi Thu 17-Jul-08 19:05:02

Just because the reports are identical doesn't mean the experience the children have is - I think what your friend is 'forking out' for is small class sizes, more attention etc, but the basic curriculum and standard of teaching will be the same. The teachers will be trying to impart the same information/knowledge/skills but to a much larger group of children in the state school. For some children this makes a difference, while for others, they will be fine in any type of school. At the end of the day, you do what works best for you and your family.

NigellaTheOriginal Thu 17-Jul-08 19:06:36

but it was so funny. we laughed. could have been written about the same child - which may have more to do with them both being exactly the same age and stroppy second girls, than the cost of their education. or maybe DDs scool isn't such crap as i thought. or maybe her DDs poncy private one is a bit crap? funny though.

foofi Thu 17-Jul-08 19:06:52

Yes Laurie, it may kick off, but as I was called a bitch and a troll for giving an honest answer to someone's thread yesterday, I don't really care.

Beetroot Thu 17-Jul-08 19:07:20

does your report say that your dd is bitchy? or had she managed to avoid that part of your Personality?

DoubleBluff Thu 17-Jul-08 19:08:22

if you weere laughing about it with your firend and she found it funny too, don't see what the problem is.

foofi Thu 17-Jul-08 19:08:26

NTO - what made you compare reports? I'm interested because at my school we are under the impression (mistakenly apparently) that parents would NEVER do that!

HonoriaGlossop Thu 17-Jul-08 19:08:42

at college years ago we were all comparing A level results, as you do when you're 19 and a group of wankers, and my friend listed hers and I listed mine and couldn't resist adding at the end "and mine were FREE!"

ok I know foofi is right and it's other things people are paying for as well but I still got a good feeling at knowing that working class and broke does not necessarily mean worse results than someone whose parents can pay thousands for their education

Power to the people <stands up to be counted>

<has this kicked off yet?>

NigellaTheOriginal Thu 17-Jul-08 19:08:55

hell yes - thats my best bit

HonoriaGlossop Thu 17-Jul-08 19:09:22

but I constantly WISH for private for my ds grin small class sizes, etc etc

Lauriefairycake Thu 17-Jul-08 19:09:44

how nasty foofi, can't believe someone called you a bitch, personal attacks aren't allowed on here - it's fine to say someone is being bitchy or you're interpreting their behaviour as bitchy but actually calling you a bitch is bad.

Get it deleted.

MamaG Thu 17-Jul-08 19:11:41


NigellaTheOriginal Thu 17-Jul-08 19:12:34

we compared because we always think it amusing that our first Dds (born within a week of each other) are very similar. and our second DDs (born within a month) are even more so. we compare notes on how to deal with tem - a bit like this but real.

so am i the only person to admit that i compare reports with my mates?

combustiblelemon Thu 17-Jul-08 19:13:11

But you said your DD isn't working to her potential, so why are you grin? If your DD is brighter than your friend's DD but is getting the same reports, surely that justifies every penny of the £10k your friend is spending.

NigellaTheOriginal Thu 17-Jul-08 19:18:24

it is a long, boring, sad and tedious story that i can't be arsed to go into why my DD 'could do better'. if i didn't grin i would sad. but in te eternal state vs private discussion I thought it interesting that reports could be so very similar.
i laughed anyway - so did my fee paying mate. it was funny.

jammi Thu 17-Jul-08 19:20:59

Message withdrawn

MilaMae Thu 17-Jul-08 19:21:41

As a teacher I have to say I don't always go along with the small class size thing,yes it helps but a crap teacher will always be a crap teacher whatever the class size.

I had an amazing classics teacher who used to manage to get 60 in a class through A levels (the majority with very good results)in the state sector.

I've always taught in the state sector my friend the private.The things she's told me about re crap teaching and resources in the very exclusive private school she taught in would make your hair curl.

We went to the same teacher training college too which really does make you question the sanity of the parents who shell out a fortune at her school.

cornsilk Thu 17-Jul-08 19:24:16

Well we're intending to work our arses off to pay to get ds1 into a private school. Hope no-one thinks he's at a 'poncy' school.

noonki Thu 17-Jul-08 19:27:41

my parents never got over the smug feeling of my gcse results (though not amazing) that totally beat my privately educated cousin, at Eton no less. As we are the same age they came on the same day -

the glee in their voices was something to behold as they told my snobby grandparents !

jammi Thu 17-Jul-08 19:28:59

Message withdrawn

jammi Thu 17-Jul-08 19:33:09

Message withdrawn

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 19:34:18

Are both children achieving their potential at school, without being majorly pushed? Yes? If so, good - what's the problem?

smartiejake Thu 17-Jul-08 19:34:34

I think perhaps it depends on the school.The reports my dd gets now(independent)are SOOOOO much better than the state school ones she used to get.

They actually TELL me what her strengths and weaknesses are; give me grades for all manner of things such as behaviour, interest, achievement, effort, classwork, homework using initiative, attitude, concentration ,how she is performing in terms of the year average, what her test percentage is etc. (and not a national curriculum level in sight!)

Much better and more informative than the old computer generated twaddle that could be about any child in the class that she used to get.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 19:36:39

Hmmm - just reread OP. You child isn't working at funn potential? Why not? Why are the school not addressing thes?

Is the other girl working at full potential? If not - again why not? If yes, then - hmmm, she is at least being kept at her own level of capability.

Fortunately my friends don't do the comparison thing with DD and their children's education. Would hate to see my little girl judged in such a way? How unpleasant.

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