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to expect DH not to pick me up on my choice of words whilst having a nervous breakdown?

(9 Posts)
bohemianbint Thu 17-Jul-08 18:37:06

Sorry - rant alert, have just had a barny about 3 minutes ago so am steaming slightly. DH has decided he wants to clean out under the stairs and it has to be done tonight apparently. So, I've been up since 6.30am with DS, am 36 weeks pregnant and had no help with him since DH got in, (in fact DH has spent about 3 minutes near DS since he got home) and as a result I've just blown my lid, because in trying to get DS ready for bed I'm getting kicked and battered and I can't hack it anymore.

I put DS in his cot and shouted down to DH that I couldn't deal with it. He then responded by saying I should ask him to take over rather than "making statements" - I mean, ffs! I'm on the verge of tears after wrestling with hectic DS and he's got the fricking nerve to start picking me up on bastard semantics?!!

Why can he not just help, or see that I'm struggling without being a total twat and picking fault?!

bohemianbint Thu 17-Jul-08 18:41:39

(Should probably add that this isn't a one off, he often mutters crap under his breath as well, or shouts from another room, just loud enough to let me know he's saying something, but not loud enough for me to hear exactly what - it makes me incandescent!)

Ewe Thu 17-Jul-08 18:44:14

XP did/does this, makes me mad angry

bearmama Thu 17-Jul-08 18:48:18

"Twat"
"Idiot"
"Unhelpful cretin"
Make those statements and see how he likes it. grin

BuwchBywiog Thu 17-Jul-08 18:49:19

YANBU have a huge hug and put your feet up

mummyloveslucy Thu 17-Jul-08 18:52:02

O.k, take a deep breath, I know you won't feel like it right now but I think you need some time together to talk to him. Can you get a baby sitter for your son one evening and go for a long walk, or drink with your Husband and tell him exactly how you feel.
He can then tell you why he does these things. It needs to be addressed before the new baby comes along because then, your older son will definatly need a close bond with his Dad so that he copes well with the new sibling. You will also need the support. Let him know that it will be hard enough for his son to have a new sibling without us too arguing all the time. Make him feel guilty! Good Luck. Hope all goes well for you.smile

bohemianbint Thu 17-Jul-08 18:58:13

Cheers for the replies - I thought I might be being a teensy bit unreasonable...

He has just apologised. I think the difference is our priorities before this baby turns up; for example tonight I'm going light headed with tiredness, have been tryign to cook all day so there's something in the freezer after I've popped, I've cooked DS's tea and am now making our meal. (well, not this second, things are in the oven but you know what I mean.) Meanwhile, he's arsing about with boxes of crap so there's more room under the stairs. I prioritise this less highly, I frankly couldn't give a shit what's under the stairs at this moment in time - I'd rather he helped out with DS so I could take it a bit easier. Tidy stairs are going to be no consolation if I end up going ape shit and having this baby early...hmm

mrsleroyjethrogibbs Thu 17-Jul-08 19:02:39

yanbu. its only right that he should see that you need help after all he helped to make ds, therefore he should help look after him too.
Big hugs to you

bearmama Thu 17-Jul-08 19:04:49

BB - I do advocate talk and negotiation really wink
He sounds like a typical bloke WRT priorities - doing practical stuff without looking around around and seeing that you have needs to be met.
At least he apologised. Hope you feel a bit better now smile

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