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To be considering meeting this man

(57 Posts)
Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:27:49

Long story short, DP and I have been together for 10 years...for the last few years neither of us have been that happy.

I went out last night with my friends and bumped into a guy in a club who I went to school with. We had a great night having a laugh, dancing, flirting etc. Well, I'm not proud of this, but I ended up having sex with him in the club toilets blush

He gave me his number and wants us to meet up. Would it be crazy to meet him again? I'm not sure I want to risk my marriage by getting into something like this, but on the other hand, this guy makes me feel so alive.

Advice please!

psmith Sat 12-Jul-08 22:30:13

It would be ridiculous.

Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:32:51

Ridiculous? HOw? Do yuo mean dangerous?

cheesesarnie Sat 12-Jul-08 22:35:53

you need to ask????
umm yes yabu!youve not been 'that' happy so you have sex with guy in a club and think that not only thats ok but doing it again is ok too!and you dont know if you want to risk your marriage???

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:38:17

We haven't been that happy, in fact weve had a really shit time. We split up last year and got back together, then we got married a couple of months ago cos I thought the worst of it was over. I'm not sure it is though, Im so confused.

sleepycat Sat 12-Jul-08 22:39:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FabioTheLiterateCat Sat 12-Jul-08 22:39:42

No, you do not have permission to do this.

Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:40:11

Maye you are right sad. I can't stop thinking about this man though.

Kelix Sat 12-Jul-08 22:40:12

Probably a bit silly to meet him TBH. If you and DP not happy and there is a child involved dont you think it would be better to try and sort that out before starting something (even if its just sex) with someone else?!
The grass isnt always greener as they say!

Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:40:44

I suppose i wouldnt want to do anything I regret...

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:41:51

Weve been together for then years themildmaneredjanitor. But yes, only got married recently,

Hassled Sat 12-Jul-08 22:42:03

Sort your marriage out one way or another first. Then go scouting in clubs. WHatever things with your DP are like, you owe him some respect, surely?

memoo Sat 12-Jul-08 22:42:45

are you seriously considering throwing away the past ten years of your life for what won't amount to more than a few meaningless shags???

if you're not happy then leave your husband but don't cheapen yourself by behaving like that. you'll have no respect for yourself and neither will anyone else

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:42:50

Why would i regret it though? DP doesnt know about it.

cheesesarnie Sat 12-Jul-08 22:43:08

and yourself.

beanieb Sat 12-Jul-08 22:44:17

better to regret something you have done? Do you regret it?

I have a friend who does this frequently (female), I know she is unhappy but I don't get involved. If she can live with it then....

sleepycat Sat 12-Jul-08 22:44:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BibiThree Sat 12-Jul-08 22:44:53

Maybeiwill - you can't stop thinking about how this man makes you feel. It's the feeling of being loved and wanted and desierd you're looking for, not this man in particular.

If you're not happy with your dh, sort that out first. If you can't make it better, then end it, make a clean break and then see how you feel about this other man. If you feel anything for him at all.

You know seeing him behind your dh's back ins't going to make anyone happy in the long-term. Don't do it.

psmith Sat 12-Jul-08 22:45:27

I mean shagging people in public toilets will do nothing to improve your current relationship. A new relationship with this man would almost certainly not last as it is based on escaping from your 'not that happy' life rather than genuine affection. You would almost certainly destroy your marriage and cause intense pain to your dh and all for nothing. If you want to be single then you need to end your current relationship in a grown up way, not wait to get caught out. If you want to improve your relationship then do something constructive about it.

This is very exciting for you. Its dangerous and new and far away from the tedious bordom of domesticity but its not real. Do you seriously think that if you left your dh for someone who thinks that sex in a public toilet is a good night out then all of a sudden you would be 'alive' and you wouldn't have to deal with the odd sock pile and clean the oven?

Maybeiwill Sat 12-Jul-08 22:46:41

I cant end my current relationship though, my parents got themselves into debt to pay for our wedding sad they wouod be really cross if i ended things now.

psmith Sat 12-Jul-08 22:47:57

btw, he wants to meet up again because you are an easy lay, not because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

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