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in buying a £200 pram without my husbands knowledge or consent?

(65 Posts)
YokoJackamotoToto Sat 12-Jul-08 15:20:36

When you bear in mind the fact that he bought himself a £100 MP3 player last week without me knowing and is off now buying himself a new mobile phone!

Money isn't exactly free flowing but in my defense the buggy is on SALE and is on a 0% payment plan and will be paid off during the remainder of the pregnancy.

I do already have a double buggy as my other child will only be 2 when newbie arrives but I wont always need a double will I?

rookiemater Sat 12-Jul-08 15:37:40

TBH I think both you and your DH are being ABU.

If you are hardpressed for cash, its ridiculous that your Dh is off buying unnecessary electrical items ( presumably he has a mobile phone already). However it doesn't make it any less unreasonable to buy a £200 buggy on payment plan and justify it by quoting your husbands shopping.

Yes you might need a buggy, but seriously, you are strapped for cash and a £200.00 is the only one that does the purpose ?

You both need to have a proper chat about finances and agree a budget that allows each of you to treat yourself sometimes.

AbbeyA Sat 12-Jul-08 15:55:27

I agree with rookiemater. You need to sit down and talk about finances. Get a second hand buggy.

KatieDD Sat 12-Jul-08 16:33:05

I told mine I won an £800 silver cross in a raffel blush I blame the hormones, i had to have it !

DazedEmma Sat 12-Jul-08 16:37:11

I bought a £600 bugaboo on the father of my childs card without him knowing, he obviously knows now

stitch Sat 12-Jul-08 16:40:26

unless you have the 200 pounds on you when you walk into the shop, then yabu.
just because your dh is being a twit, doesnt mean you have to be one too.

fwiw, i bought a 200 pound pram without dh's knowledge, however, in our instance, he preferred not to be bored by the details of the purchase etc. a buggy is a necessity, particulalry if you walk a lot. but the problem here isnt the buggy, but your attitude towards it. iyswim

belgo Sat 12-Jul-08 16:41:38

I would never spend that amount of money without discussing it with dh first, and he wouldn't either, especially if it was something that I couldn't afford to pay for straight away.

My mother bought me a decent second hand buggy for 18 pounds from a charity shop in England.

colditz Sat 12-Jul-08 16:42:25

shock

I cannot believe how dishonest you all are! Would you like to be treated like this?

Hecate Sat 12-Jul-08 16:43:59

Yup. unreasonable. If it has to go on the never never, you can't afford it. If it's not, therefore, something essential, it's - this is my opinion - daft to do it.

Litterbug Sat 12-Jul-08 16:45:52

To be fair she did say its on a payment plan over the pregnancy at 0%.

its not on a 29.9% credit card or from a interest crazy catalouge,

sounds sensible to me!

Hecate Sat 12-Jul-08 16:46:27

Oh, and plus - the instant you go behind his back, you lose the moral high ground and the right to bitch at him and bring up his irresponsible spending in every single argument for the next 50 years. grin

belgo Sat 12-Jul-08 16:47:01

KatieDD - did he really believe that? does he never check bank statements? You'd have to be very rich not to miss 800 pounds.

Dazedemma - what was his reaction?

ivykaty44 Sat 12-Jul-08 16:48:18

To be honest someone on here said that they both put into the househild bill account 50 - 50 and then what is left over is split between a savings account and £100 each per month pocket money. It sounds like a really good idea - obviously the pocket money and savings can be set to remain in budget, but it sounds like both of you need to do something similar.

That way you can spend your own pocket money on what ever you like - it will then always be in budget and its up to you as inderviduals where you save it up for a few months or spend it on mp3 players, mobile phones make up, prams or clothes - neither of you will mind as you both get the same pocket money.

LackaDAISYcal Sat 12-Jul-08 16:50:13

yabu.

I have a 13 months old DD who will be 17 months when DC3 is born. I would love to have a P&T vibe or sport, but our current financial situation is precarious to say the least so I am probably going to have to opt for a £50 sling or a much cheaper double stroller type.

Any major financial purchase (ie anything over and above food and clothes for the DCs) should be discussed imo.

lucyellensmum Sat 12-Jul-08 17:49:39

Sorry, i don't understand why you would both go off and buy stuff without telling each other. Its not about getting permission, but respecting each other enough to value their opinions.

DP is quite good at coming home with a sheepish grin on his face having purchased some monsterously expensive tool for work. He hasn't done that lately as we have been strapped for cash, but he would never deliberately hide his purchases - i'll only find out at the end of the year when i do his accounts anyway grin, but he will buy stuff for work without boring telling me about it. Personal purchases we make together so its always spoken about, never deliberately hidden.

If money is tight, and you don't need the pram you are being unreasonable. These things have a way of biting you in the bum, because if, for some reason you don't pay up by the end of the terms, they usually whack a stupidly high interset rate on things.

We have fallen into the credit trap, but i can promise you that now, if we can't afford it, we wait, it has been a very harsh lesson to learn too, i promise you that.

Ebay is full of lovely second hand prams, i wish i had bought one, but my mother brought mine - i rather wish i had saved her money as i am quite reticent to give retailers my money these days, prefer to shop in charity shop, or should i say i am obsessed with charity shops

lucyellensmum Sat 12-Jul-08 17:51:29

KatyDD i am shock and stunned that you would tell such a huge lie to your partner. I hope he never found out because that would make him feel horrible. You didn't HAVE to have it at all hmm.

KatieDD Sat 12-Jul-08 17:53:32

Oh I did grin and he can afford it

AbbeyA Sat 12-Jul-08 17:57:23

He should at least be asked if he wants to afford it.

lucyellensmum Sat 12-Jul-08 17:58:05

no, you didn't, and what about you? Could you afford it? You know, pay for it with your own money? Because if you intend on purchasing something like this with family money they you should consult the other members of the family. "He could afford it" ------LEM bangs head resigns herself to living in 1950s Britain again, all pushed by other women, i am honestly stunned. And before you say anything i am a SAHM and whats his is mine and whats mine, is well, from him just now - I buys small stuff without telling him, but never anything major. But then i would be exactly the same if i were working.

Chocolateteapot Sat 12-Jul-08 18:07:49

I think you are both behaving like a couple of self indulgent children. You will soon have two children, you say that money is an issue, food, petrol, energy bills etc are going up rapidly and clearly there is a good chance things are going to get worse.

You should be sitting down working out your finances together, not both seeing how much you can spend behind each other's backs.

dreamymum Sat 12-Jul-08 18:23:27

i am looking to get rid of a 2 year old mama and papas buggy. its in great shape! is that what you are looking for? i paid around 450 and will sell it for 200!

i also have a maclaren that i bought for 150 and am willing to sell for 50. if you pick it up, then 50. it is in great condition except for one little thing in the front which doesnt bother the look or function of the buggy.

AbbeyA Sat 12-Jul-08 18:30:58

Babies are one time when you can easily get away with second hand, there is lovely stuff around that is hardly used. I should make the most of it-the baby doesn't care what it is pushed around in!

lucyellensmum Sat 12-Jul-08 18:40:00

I couldnt agree more abbey, i was a bit pfb at first about second hand but now i wish i bought everything from the charity shop. We even did some of DDs toys from there last year - it gets tougher as they get older though

Limara Sat 12-Jul-08 18:44:32

You go buy the pram. Not as if you are going out to buy hair straighteners, or Boden clothes or stuff for yourself, its for a baby. Your dh buys stuff so why not and if you can afford it on 0% then go for it.smile

AbbeyA Sat 12-Jul-08 18:47:17

When you have teenagers you can't get away with second hand so I should make the most of it while you can.
I thought the whole point of the OP was that they couldn't really afford it. If they could there would have been no need to post.

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