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to think that this person is not a true friend?

(14 Posts)
truefriend Sat 12-Jul-08 09:57:45

i have been good friends with my friend for a while, my kids play with hers and we spent time together meeting for lunch and going out for meals etc.

dh has told me she is taking the p out of our friendship, because
she didnt buy DS a birthday present
we bought her DS one
She didnt buy our kids a xmas present
we bought hers
she turned up at DD,s party with no present saying she was skint. (same excuse as all the other times).
this week was her DD,s birthday, so me and DD went round the day after (there was a family get together the day before and i text her and said sorry we will b round tomorrow) when we were there she told me that she,d had a party for her dd and invited some children, but no invite for my dd cos she had run out of credit on her phone.
i felt sorry for dd cos we always include her dd in things, im beginning to think why should i bother but then i know you dont give to receive.

Alambil Sat 12-Jul-08 10:00:36

Is she skint though? I gave a "friend"'s child one of DS's old books (in perfect condition) as I had no money for a gift.

I don't think you can say "well, she isn't a friend because we don't get things from her" - friendship is and should be much, much more than that IMO.

cocolepew Sat 12-Jul-08 10:02:18

You've been a good friend, she hasn't. I don't expect presents for my children, either, but the fact that she had a party and didn't invite your DD would seriously hack me off.

cocolepew Sat 12-Jul-08 10:02:18

You've been a good friend, she hasn't. I don't expect presents for my children, either, but the fact that she had a party and didn't invite your DD would seriously hack me off.

TotalChaos Sat 12-Jul-08 10:02:58

She can't be too skint to get a small present if they regularly go out for meals! The party invite thing would irk me more than the presents though.

cocolepew Sat 12-Jul-08 10:03:40

The op does say"I know you don't give to receive" but her 'friend' is taking the piss.

MmeLindt Sat 12-Jul-08 10:06:57

The fact that your DD was left out of the party is worse than the no presents, imo.

If she is really not well off, then I can understand her not buying expensive presents. My SIL has to budget very carefully but is a real bargain hunter and always gives our DCs something.

myermay Sat 12-Jul-08 10:07:10

personall i wouldn't bother with teh presents thing at christmas and birthdays unless your child got invited to her childs party. I've had to stop buying for my friends kids as it just gets to expensive. It's more the invite that would annoy me.

Hecate Sat 12-Jul-08 10:09:41

So what if she ran out of credit? hmm She couldn't walk round to your house? Was it a party arranged that day or something? She didn't invite your dd because she didn't want to. Maybe she had the hump because you couldn't go round on the day?

Re gift - that wouldn't bother me - unless she was spending lots of cash on many other things and always buying other people's children gifts for birthdays and chrismasses and only missing my child out. Then I'd think it a bit off.

You are friends so the kids play together - but are the kids friends. Truly friends? Would they seek each other out if you and your mate didn't like each other? Or do you throw them togther because of your friendship? Can you separate the two friendships? Perhaps the girl just isn't that close to your dd?

truefriend Sat 12-Jul-08 10:13:47

yes think i am more upset at the party invite than the presents.

dd said why didnt i get to go to xx party mummy? and i felt sorry for her.

it would have been nice for her to be invited, she didnt know we had a family get together until the day i text her.

she does buy other friends kids things though so dont understand why not mine.

think i wont go round for a while.

truefriend Sat 12-Jul-08 10:14:38

yes the kids are friends cos she told me her dd has been missing my dd and asking for her.

Kimi Sat 12-Jul-08 10:21:28

Drop her

Hecate Sat 12-Jul-08 10:21:43

Are you better off than her? Could she be envious?

bonnibaby Sat 12-Jul-08 10:24:33

I agree ,the party thing would annoy me more than anything.
Dont think its on that she buys other peoples kids presents and not yours either.
Fair enough if she is skint ,id never expect anyone to buy for my kids but it would cheese me off that she buys for other peoples...

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