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To think that when I take dd round to pils they could actually play with her?

(10 Posts)
Sunflower100 Sat 12-Jul-08 09:48:52

Pils always complain they don't see enough of dd - they see her every other weekend on average - and mil takes a very keen interest in how often she sees my own mum (much less often but for longer stretches as we have to go and stay- further away).
Last weekend we took dd round to their house saying we could only stay 1 hour (this is unusual - usually we stay most of the day)- they played with her for 10 minutes and then a some sport came on the telly wanted to watch and they totally ignored her. When we had to go (after I had sat playing with her for the hour they watched the telly)they starting asking when they could next see her and why did we have to leave so soon?
Dh says dd is just part of the family and thats what families do - and I don't expect everything to revolve around her. I felt pretty cross but am beginning to lose the plot about whether I have unreasonable expectations - things have been quite strained with pils since dd arrived? PLease let me know honest views.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama Sat 12-Jul-08 09:54:40

hoe old is your dd? playing with a 6 month old baby is very different to playing with a 3 year old or a 6 year old

MmeLindt Sat 12-Jul-08 09:57:27

My parents do not spend hours playing with the DCs but they do take more than 10 mins with them, especially if we were only going to be there 1 hour.

Was it somethign particularly thrilling on TV? That they always watch and it was the last 10 mins of the game/race.

Sunflower100 Sat 12-Jul-08 10:10:06

Shes 18months - this was totally ignoring her and not just for last few minutes(usually its a bit of chat and a bit of play and a bit of paper reading) But it was a one off so I think I probably am overreacting - it was just because it was coupled with wanting to see her the next weekend. I guess Im just grumpy because I don't want to see them as frequently as every other weekend so Im looking for excuses blush

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onestonetogo Sat 12-Jul-08 10:18:06

Message withdrawn

CristinaTheAstonishing Sat 12-Jul-08 10:28:41

I think your DH has the right idea: your DC is just part of the family.

My parents play with mine all the time but they only see them 2-3 times a year.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sunflower100 Sat 12-Jul-08 10:46:32

Thanks all - very helpful stuff - I guess my issue wasn't really about the not playing/ playing thing but how much time is spent with pils - so its helped clarify things in that way. I think Im still partly mourning for life before dd when weekends were more about days out with dh (we're pretty outdoorsy types!) and seeing friends blush I had probably envisaged dd would fit more into that life (and she does given the time and chance) rather than such a big change. Time together is short for us as dh studying at weekends but this won't always be the case!
I guess seeing a lot more of family is part of the deal of having LOs if you want dd to have a good relationship with grandparents (which I really do - as I do with my own!).
I think I need to work on improving relationship with mil so it starts being more enjoyable!!!! grin

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