to be pissed off with another mother at a party

[tegan]

I went to pick dd1 (10) up from a birthday party last night.
party meant to finish at 7 but was told to comeback later as the kids were having fun.
went back at 7.30 and dd1 wasn't impressed that i had come to collect her but i had dd2 to get to bed.
on entering the house the mother of the party girl was giving fake/spray tattoos, i said i would prefer it if dd didn't have one due to her having skin problems to which the mother got really shitty and slammed the door behind me as we left.

Surely she should of asked parents if they minded their kids having such things done?

[Freckle]

Seems a bit of an over-reaction to a simple request. Maybe the children had been having fun but the mum hadn't??

[Greyriverside]

Maybe you were not tactful enough given that she had spent a long time entertaining your child. Maybe you should have supplied a list of problems up front. This stuff is normal for kids. How was anyone to know?

[tegan]

no this mother is a real kid who needs to grow up. she is very anti disapline and as such has unruly kids. she even asked if dd could sleep the night when i have never even had a conversation with the woman.

[tegan]

my exact words to the mother was "i would prefer it if xxx didn't have that done if you don't mind as she has skin problems" should i really of been more tactful?

[ChippyMinton]

What would you have done/said if your daughter had already had the tattoo done?

[cornsilk]

I think the mother overreacted. Perfectly reasonable request. Slamming the door behind you? Rude.

[tegan]

I would of been miffed but obviously with dd for having the it done when she knows how severly she reacts to things.

[hunkermunker]

Could be the door just slammed and you're reading too much into it.

Could be she did as you said and you're thinking about it far too much.

As long as you haven't a holiday booked with her, I don't think it matters, really.

[2shoes]

By tegan on Sat 12-Jul-08 09:09:16
no this mother is a real kid who needs to grow up. she is very anti disapline and as such has unruly kids. she even asked if dd could sleep the night when i have never even had a conversation with the woman.

so if you have such a low opinion of her why did you let her look after you child?

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

"she is very anti disapline" How can you know her views on discipline is you've never had a conversation with her?

[tegan]

our children have been in the same class since reception and i have close professional ties to the school so i know alot regarding the family.

yes i wasn't keen on dd going but she spoke to dh who agreed she could go and i agreed as long as i didn't have to take or collect her but dh got called in to work.

The mother slammed the door deliberately and was commenting to the other children regarding over protective parents (window was open i heard)

I am objective and can see exactly where you are coming from.

[ChippyMinton]

yanbu
i saw horrible photos yesterday of a boy who had a big swirly henna tattoo on his arm, and now has a big swirly infected scar on his arm. He begged and pleaded an dhis mum finally gave in, against her better judgement

[macdoodle]

even asked if dd could sleep the night

oh she didn't how horrid and terrible of her - she's 10 FGS not 2

[nailpolish]

tegan, did you thank this woman for the party

did you thank her for offering your dd a sleepover

or did you just sneer at her for the spray on tatoos

[cornsilk]

I think the op's getting a bit of a pasting here. I didn't get the sense that she was sneering at the tattoos, but that she didn't want her ds to have one as she has skin problems which is fair enough.

[nailpolish]

but if it was the first and only thing she said to the mother, then im sorry but no wonder the door was slammed. parties are hard work and the woman was prob frazzled by 730

i dont imagine it WAS the only thing tegan said, thats why i asked

[cornsilk]

I agree parties at home are an expensive nightmare and the mum was probably whacked, but I thought it was reasonable for the op to ask for her dd not to have the tattoo due to skin problems. Obviously I don't know what tone it was said in etc I'm just going from what it says in the op. Must admit I am also a bit about the discipline comments though.

[OverMyDeadBody]

sounds like the other mother did over-react a bit.

It's have though tegan, not of .

[Cammelia]

tegan I'm with you here. Frankly I wouldn't have gone back half-an hour later, I'd have taken my dd home at 7 if I had another dd to put to bed.

She sounds like a control freak

[Skribble]

I think it is something not to take to heart really, kids parties burn any one out.

As for having professional links and having insider knowledge or something, that is really something to keep to yourself isn't it.

[kittywise]

Well it seems simple. You are both very different sorts of women and mothers.
You think she is lax
She thinks you are uptight

You should NOT have mentioned the tattoo stuff, that is up to your daughter she is old enough. The woman was trying to give a good party and I can understand how your approach would have come across as particularly supercilious and sanctimonious.
Think carefully before you speak.

[flack]

OP's DD is old enough to take some responsibility about her own skin (if it is that sensitive).

[ChickenBurger]

Cristina wasn't ridiculing her spelling, she was just quoting her verbatim.

[OverMyDeadBody]

I thought that too chicken.