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To think that DH is just a teensy bit out of order?

(18 Posts)
bigpantywoman Fri 11-Jul-08 23:20:30

We had a social engagement tonight, DH did not come but offered to stay home and "babysit" as we are also out tomorrow night and to be honest he did not fancy tonight much - fairly tame work related sort of do. So off I went, leaving him with the kids fed, bathed, and in bed albeit not asleep. I come back at 11pm and find him fast asleep so much so he does not even know I am home, despite me coming in and speaking loudly to him and giving himn a shake. The TV was on, central heating going full blast, back door unlocked, remains of curry etc on the table. He has drunk a double G&T and a full bottle of wine. He has had a rough week and I know he was knackered but am annoyed at booze drunk as he knew he was going to be in sole charge of the kids - what if there had been a fire or one of the kids had woken up - he would not have heard a THING. Is this reasonable behaviour or AIBU? Bear in mind I VERY rarely go out, and even more rarely go out on my own.

Dior Fri 11-Jul-08 23:23:19

Message withdrawn

Cynthia32 Fri 11-Jul-08 23:23:39

Its not nice to come home to is it.

OurHamsterisevil Sat 12-Jul-08 10:52:27

YANBU. I would be raging at my DH if he did this. Heating on? - Its bloody July, not the warmest obv, but still!

branflake81 Sat 12-Jul-08 11:41:14

I can see why you're annoyed but there are bigger fish to fry. Let him off the hook.

branflake81 Sat 12-Jul-08 11:41:35

sorry, lots of inadvertent fishing metaphors there!

posieflump Sat 12-Jul-08 11:43:20

I often drink at home on my own when I'm with the dcs and dh is out
If we needed to go to hospital I'd call a taxi
Do you think lone parents shouldn't drink then?

objectivity Sat 12-Jul-08 11:44:37

That is quite a ridiculous amount of alcohol to be consuming while in sole charge of children imo.

TsarChasm Sat 12-Jul-08 11:46:00

Bit annoying but I dont think I'd make a big deal out of it tbh. He has had a tough week as you say.

The heating on would annoy me most's July!

OverMyDeadBody Sat 12-Jul-08 11:46:03

Hmm. Apart from leaving the heating on, I don't think he did naything to warrant you being annoyed at him.

As nothing bad happened, what use is it to be annoyed with him anyway?

As posie said, do you think lone parents should never drink then?hmm

TheProvincialLady Sat 12-Jul-08 11:46:10

They shouldn't get drunk, which he obviously was. If he wasn't aware that the house was boiling hot or that there was someone wandering round the house he wasn't exactly looking after the children was he? I would be furious.

TsarChasm Sat 12-Jul-08 11:46:48

I would drink too if I was at home alone with dc.

OverMyDeadBody Sat 12-Jul-08 11:48:31

'They shouldn't get drunk'

REALLY?? Whyever not? I take it you are not single then or you wouldn't be talking such bollox.

I tihnk if I was in a deep sleep without the help of alcohol I could quite possibly not be aware of someone walking around my house at night.

objectivity Sat 12-Jul-08 11:53:04

I drink, when I am responsible for my children, but only if someone else is with me, or if I am retrning home alone after drinking in company,I'll make sure I'm not arseholed, obviously.

Tell you what though, when DS broke his arm last weekend at the village fete, I had minutes before been pondering buying myself a Pimms from the beer tent. I am so glad I didn't as I would not have liked AT ALL to have had my reactions or judgement impaired by alcohol while going through that.

sophiajane Sat 12-Jul-08 12:08:07

The drinking and the heating wouldn't bother me as much as the back door being unlocked!

micci25 Sat 12-Jul-08 12:08:19

i drink when i charge of my dcs!! i would go insane if i didnt get to sit back and enjoy a bottle of wine or two every now and again!!

im fairly sure that in a real enmergency i would wake up easily enough and accidents tend to sober you quite quickly anyhow imo!!

id be anoyed at the heating being on though! but id more surprised if i came back home and my dp had not drank and had tidied up after himself!!

TheProvincialLady Sat 12-Jul-08 18:31:59

OMDB I don't mean ever, but when anyone is at home alone with young children I do think it is irresponsible to get drunk (not just have a couple of drinks). It doesn't matter whether you have a partner or not. Would you apply the same logic to someone getting off their face on some recreational drug? I don't think your responsibility to keep children safe ends when they go to sleep - they don't always stay asleep as I'm sure we all know!

My views are influenced by my childhood, with two parents who drank heavily and at times were not capable of looking after me and my brother. So when he was sick at night I would have to deal with it. I don't think that is acceptable and would never allow my DS to be in the house without a sane, sober person around too, alseep or otherwise.

Limara Sat 12-Jul-08 18:54:09

I don't think its reasonable to be drunk whilst in charge of children lone parents or not. Babysitters? Couldn't he have drunk the next night whilst you were there?

He left the door open because the alcohol made him extra sleepy and that's not good.

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