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to take dd to her annual review even though I know the head will get annoyed?

(9 Posts)
2shoes Fri 11-Jul-08 18:30:22

dd goes to an sn school. so she has a annual review. she is allowed to attend(it is her right)
last year I took her for the first time as at 12 I felt she was mature enough.
well the head really annoyed me. dd had a new communication book and all she wanted to do was look at it with her key worker. I noticed the head giving her a very impatient look.
seeing as the school is a sn school and most of the pupils are severely disabled,. I felt he should accept this and not glare at her.
so I decided sod it I won't take her again.
but I was just talking to dh and realised that I am wrong and that as she has a right to be there I should take her.
so would I bu to take her?
and aibu in doing so knowing it might annoy him....and liking that idea

llareggub Fri 11-Jul-08 18:31:58

You are definitely not being unreasonable. The head should be supporting and enabling the decisions your daughter makes as she grows up.

Grrrr at head.

TotalChaos Fri 11-Jul-08 18:33:27

if she wants to go, YANBU.

TheFallenMadonna Fri 11-Jul-08 18:36:27

We always had the children there for at least some of the time. Target setting for example.

2shoes Fri 11-Jul-08 18:38:12

(and if sunnydelight reads this.....yes it is him)
dd was well behaved just uninterested. but if i don't take her, how ill she ever learn to "behave" she is so funny at her multi displinary review(all therapists and doctor) she tell sthem when they can have their turn.

bigcar Sat 12-Jul-08 01:16:04

I thought the general thinking these days was that kids were generally expected to be at their reviews, SO LONG AS THEY ARE PROPERLY PREPARED. Dss 14 has severe asd and is barely verbal but is expected to be there for at least part of his review, he also has to complete a booklet (has a fancy name that I can't remember) of his feelings about school and his care. YANBU at all and the school should be encouraging your dd all the way.

1dilemma Sat 12-Jul-08 01:28:33

perhaps a tiny bit in doing it to annoy him and liking the idea but really it shounds like you are taking her for other reasons and he annoys you for other reasons and this is just a happy coincidence!

CristinaTheAstonishing Sat 12-Jul-08 02:05:09

I'd take her for part of the meeting. So you can still get the boring bits over and done with. DS comes in at the end of his reviews. I suppose he's not really included in decision-making but then he's only 8 and I don't think he'd enjoy target setting and breaking it down into achievable objectives etc.

He also fills in an A4 sheet of things he's good at, things he likes, things he doesn't like. They are more of a statement of where he's at, it's not as if he's not going to attend assemblies just because he wrote he doesn't like them.

sushistar Sat 12-Jul-08 02:20:54

You should definatly take her if she shows the slightest bit of inclination to go. In fact, I reckon take her as long as she doesn't make it clear she DOESN'T want to go iyswim.
She has a right to be there, it may be a learning oppertunity for her to learn about how meetings happen, and at the very least her presence should remind the head who the important person is in all this!

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