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to utterly loathe getting 'thank you' cards...

(52 Posts)
thumbsucker Thu 10-Jul-08 14:15:34

My relationship with my sister in law has never been fantastic but i recently sent her a lovely birthday present - a necklace which I carefully chose and sent on time (!) after a week I heard nothing so I phoned my brother. he checked with her and called back to say she had got it and loved it and that a thank you card would be in the post. This makes me livid! I am not some distant auntie and we are not living in the effing dark ages. Why oh why is she not capable of picking up the phone (yes, she has a mobile) and just saying thanks? Even if she doesn't like it, some kind of acknowledgement would have been nice.

DartmoorMama Thu 10-Jul-08 14:17:25

think people have different ideas. I usually phone people but have friends who always send cards even really close friends. I wouldn't get too fed up at least you are being thanked.

MaryAnnSingleton Thu 10-Jul-08 14:18:26

what ? she is sending you a thank you card !! ok,she could have phoned or emailed to say it had arrived safely but thank you cards are important - call me old fashioned- but so many people fail to acknowledge any gift/present/dinner etc

spottyshoes Thu 10-Jul-08 14:20:31

I always send thankyou notes to people as I think that it shows you've made an effort and that was how I was brought up. I like getting them too.

Bit weird she didn't come to the phone whilst you were on to say thankyou though!

TheMagnificent7 Thu 10-Jul-08 14:22:14

I think a card is much more effort, and a nicer way. I might be a little miffed if it takes some time, but i think it's a great thing to receive something like that. We do it for the kids presents, but hardly ever for the adults. And if your relationship isn't that hot with her then this is the ideal way to say thanks comfortably. It's very personally impersonal.

Mutt Thu 10-Jul-08 14:22:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marmalady Thu 10-Jul-08 14:24:02

I think thank you cards are lovely. It shows people have taken the time to say thanks. I like sending and receiving them.

Bit weird that she is only seemingly sending one after your brother checked if she got it though.....?

thumbsucker Thu 10-Jul-08 14:25:56

mutt I think you've hit the nail on the head. she rarely makes an effort for me and I just feel that if you really do feel grateful for something, it's nice to show some genuine, spontaneous gratitude. Actually though, I could have been looking for ammo...

thumbsucker Thu 10-Jul-08 14:26:53

Although I do have to say I love getting thank you cards for something like dinner or a weekend, just not a present when you haven't seen someone and you don't even know if it arrived. Just feels a bit like being 'dealt with'

chocbutton Thu 10-Jul-08 15:49:21

I always send cards to say thanks for christmas and b'day presents for DS, I think that is polite and a nice gesture.

For ourselves, would prob only send thank you's for big occasions e.g. wedding , and for family members we don't really see.

Would def send a card for a special dinner or weekend away - perhaps I am card mad!

But like Mutt said this isn't about the card is it?? Very odd that she didn't speak to you to say thanks.

Oblomov Thu 10-Jul-08 16:04:55

A thank you card CAN show much more thoughtfulness, than a quick phone call.

bozza Thu 10-Jul-08 16:08:37


belcantavinissima Thu 10-Jul-08 16:12:01

you are totally bonkers! i would be overjoyed to receive any kind of acknowledgement from people when i/we have given gifts. i would fall over in happy shock if i received a thank you letter esp from dsil, she never ever writes. it makes me furious. its common courtesy imo and just plain good manners to write when someone has taken the trouble to pick you a lovely/or not pressie. so YABU imho

littlelapin Thu 10-Jul-08 16:12:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebecster Thu 10-Jul-08 16:14:39

Yup, YABU. Thank you cards are lovely. Phonecalls to say thank you are lovely. Considering that neither of you like each other, she's making quite an effort to think of nice things to put in that thank you card.

hanaflowerisnothana Thu 10-Jul-08 16:15:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PInkyminkyohnooo Thu 10-Jul-08 16:59:30

I love sending and receiving thank you cards. I love any posts that isn't junkmail or a bill!

I don't like it when people make a proforma thankyou card and send the same thing to everyone.

itati Thu 10-Jul-08 17:00:40


Too much is now done by phone, text and email. How many of those do you keep and reread years later? Letter writing and thank you cards need to be used more, not less imo.

FabioTheTimeLordCatOfGallifrey Thu 10-Jul-08 17:01:20

Well, she is saying thank you, just not in the exact way you would like.

NappyGallor Thu 10-Jul-08 17:15:22

I always send thank you notes but i have never recieved one!

bohemianbint Thu 10-Jul-08 17:23:34

YABU re cards in general, but maybe not so much if she hadn't thanked you. Although I often take much longer than a week to get cards in the post so I can't really call her for that! Is she just not very organised (like me) or do you think she's being funny with you?

Elkat Thu 10-Jul-08 17:53:16

Fully agree with Mutt.

ladystardust Thu 10-Jul-08 19:22:09

Recently after big birthday I sent e-thank you cards - which seemed to prompt a few thank yous for the thank you.
I also love to write thank you cards and receive them.
I really don't understand the issue.

beaniesteve Thu 10-Jul-08 19:27:44

|Gosh you really don't like her do you.

Califrau Thu 10-Jul-08 19:28:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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