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to leave DD(7) sitting on the loo crying for 20 minutes because I won't wipe her bottom?

(47 Posts)
sandyballs Thu 10-Jul-08 10:47:43

I think not, DH thinks I am. I'm just sick of it, she's 7, not 3. I feel I need to start taking a harder approach to it. She manages at school without any problems so it must be laziness, 'oh Mum is here, I'll let her do it' angry.

mishymoo Thu 10-Jul-08 10:51:53

I agree with you actually. If she can do it at school, then she can definitely do it at home!

goingslowlymad Thu 10-Jul-08 10:52:07

YANBU at all. I'd leave my 7 year old sat there all day. Mine wouldn't even consider asking me to wipe his bottom.

tissy Thu 10-Jul-08 10:52:35

yes, I think you are, sorry1

My dd who is six, still struggles a little, I think it's because her feet don't touch the ground whilst sitting on the loo, so she has trouble balancing (school loos are lower). If she stands up to do it, cheeks come together, and you don't get such a good wipe.

Why don't you say you will wait till she's done it, then check her bum? If she needs a bit more of a wipe she can then do it again, and so on....

LuLuMacGloo Thu 10-Jul-08 10:52:36


sleepycat Thu 10-Jul-08 10:52:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsDemeanor Thu 10-Jul-08 10:53:07

Goodness me, yes you are perfectly reasonable!

cupsoftea Thu 10-Jul-08 10:54:05

go & have a cup of tea!

snice Thu 10-Jul-08 10:54:10

YA(most def).NBU-I would happily leave her there and get on with other stuff. Its a power thing so don't waiver

Twiglett Thu 10-Jul-08 10:55:14

absolutely not being unreasonable

I do the same for 3 year olds to be honest

goingslowlymad Thu 10-Jul-08 10:56:27

me too Twiglett. Once they have potty trained a few months my children very quickly learn to wipe their own arses.

mumblechum Thu 10-Jul-08 10:56:34

God, yes, didn't do that after the age of 3. She's just attention seeking.

sleepycat Thu 10-Jul-08 11:00:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scanner Thu 10-Jul-08 11:01:59

You are being perfectly reasonable. Fwiw I've found supplying moist loo roll as well as the normal stuff helps the dc's with wiping bottoms, they seem to have cleaner underwear - sorry if tmi

Helennn Thu 10-Jul-08 11:03:09

My 4 year old manages it, (and has done since she was 3). Me thinks 7 year old dd is taking you for a mug!

Flibbertyjibbet Thu 10-Jul-08 11:03:40

Yes if she can do it at school then she needs to know that she can do it herself at home.
They get into habits. School = wipe own bum, home = mum wipes bum.
You maybe need to make her see that she is able to do it at home too. Perhaps you could try some reward scheme etc to encourage her to do it herself at home as well? Or am I just used to the standoffs with my two if I try and get them to do something themselves by me ignoring them grin

My ds1 is 3, ds2 just potty trained. I long for the day when they will just go to the loo and I won't have to hear 'come and wipe my bottom properly pweeeeese' shouted down the stairs.

seeker Thu 10-Jul-08 11:07:31

My 7 year old can and does wipe his own bottom - but still asks me to do it at home - and I do. I think it's a choose your battles thing. I don't mind helping him, he likes to be helped and it makes him feel looked after. Can't see a problem myself - he won't still be asking when he's 16!

I think they have to be so very grown up so much of the time that a little bit of babying doesn't do them any harm.

VictorianSqualor Thu 10-Jul-08 11:07:56

I used to find it strange that my nephew would come and stay and shout me to wipe his bum when DD who is 16months younger wiped her own.

yanbu, I don't even wipe DS1's and he is 3.

Twiglett Thu 10-Jul-08 11:08:24

shock .. really seeker? at 7?


MsDemeanor Thu 10-Jul-08 11:11:02

I had a four year old girl who had come to play ask me to wipe her bottom the other day. I just said no! 'Mummy says I can't' 'well I think you are a big girl and you can'. And she did!

justageek Thu 10-Jul-08 11:13:50

i dont wipe my 3.3 years olds bum (unless serious bowel issues grin) never mind a 7 year olds. if she can do it at school she can do it at home.

seeker Thu 10-Jul-08 11:16:03

Yup. Scarred for life, my ds is!

And I let him go out on his own on his bike and use sharp knives and use the microwave. And he has been sailing on his own (on a lake, not the sea, I hasten to add). But he likes to be babied sometimes.

sleepycat Thu 10-Jul-08 11:16:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilyWombat Thu 10-Jul-08 11:18:52

I do the same to my 5 year old, he isnt happy about it but has now stopped making such a drama about it - he doesnt make a particularly good job of it either but he has to learn.

His assurance that he "never goes at school" is really irrelevant the day will come one day when he needs to go at school so its far better that he learns at home than at school.

Twiglett Thu 10-Jul-08 11:21:51

uh ok <nervous laugh>

<backs away>

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