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to think that people should concentrate more on the children they already have rather than being desperate for more?

(62 Posts)
fairyfog Wed 09-Jul-08 18:39:15

we cant all have what we want in life, can we not just be happy with the children we have and give them our full love and attention?

Desiderata Wed 09-Jul-08 18:40:11

What a strange OP. It doesn't make any sense.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Humphries Wed 09-Jul-08 18:41:58

Fairyfog - what has made you feel upset about this?

youcannotbeserious Wed 09-Jul-08 18:42:55

I think I agree, Fairyfog.

While I would love to have another child, DH is adament that he doesn't want to (He already has two DDs as well as our DS)

I could push it, demand another DC (which he'd probably end up agreeing to) but it's not the point.

I'm so lucky to have my DS that I'd rather concentrate on him and have a good relationship with DH and my DSDs than push it to have another child and perhaps spoil what we have (resentful DH etc)

Is that what you mean?

BoysAreLikeDogs Wed 09-Jul-08 18:44:09

Have you had direct experience of this ?

Can you explain a bit more, please ?

artichokes Wed 09-Jul-08 18:44:10

Are you suggesting that people with fertility problems who already have a child should just get on with it and not feel sorry for themselves? If so you are being pretty insensitive.

spicemonster Wed 09-Jul-08 18:44:38

Do you mean people with secondary infertility fairyfog? Because I think that actually that's pretty tough and infertility is very hard, even if you already have a child.

Or perhaps that isn't what you meant. Perhaps we should stop guessing and wait for you to come back and elucidate.

dmo Wed 09-Jul-08 19:00:45

my dh has just gone out with the boys to wet the babys head
our friend has just had her 8th child last night and all the children are loved, well cared for and happy

mrschop Wed 09-Jul-08 19:09:00

Maybe there's just an attitude nowadays that everyone can get what they want, and when things don't work out as people had wished (for example, two or three boys 'but' no daughter), people seem to find it difficult to accept. The instant gratification generation?

scottishmum007 Wed 09-Jul-08 19:09:38

i can understand what OP means. we know a couple who have 2 DSs and they said they were happy with them but now (a year later) they are trying for another one. they can't even afford the two they've got. just seems ridiculous. not sure why people are so anxious to be continually up the duff..hmm

Humphries Wed 09-Jul-08 19:11:33

I do find it hard to agree when people keep trying for that boy/girl. After all these are human being we are making not toys!!

littlelapin Wed 09-Jul-08 19:13:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hatrick Wed 09-Jul-08 19:15:31

Message withdrawn

dalek Wed 09-Jul-08 19:16:05

Isn't this one of those things that you can think but not actually say out loud? I have one DD - would love another child but it is just not going to happen (severe PCOS, over 40 now - you get the picture). I am happy to say that I am grateful for my one healthy gorgeous daughter and shouldn't hanker after another child as I am lucky to have her but if somebody else said it to me I would be angry, hurt and upset. I don't believe that we have any right to comment on such personal life choices that other people make. As long as the children are not being harmed it's nobody else's business.

Litterbug Wed 09-Jul-08 19:17:28

Surely if that were true then people would only ever have one child? hmm

artichokes Wed 09-Jul-08 19:17:32

Its quite a controversial assertion you make given this is your first ever post fairyfog. A little bored maybe?

Humphries Wed 09-Jul-08 19:17:43

Fairyfog please come back and explain your thoughts?

I am an only child and have always said I would want more than one child and close together.

AbstractMouse Wed 09-Jul-08 19:18:08

I agree I think hmm depends what the op is trying to say. I have a Dd and Ds and I get sporadically spectacularily broody. Dp really doesn't want any more, I go through these phases and then emerge from the other end, knowing that I should just either forget about it or wait and concentrate all of my energy on my 2 existing children.

I think for me wanting another baby is indicative of wanting my life to change in general, and also wanting something to plan for/look forward to. Not really the burning need for another child (which obviously lots of people do feel).

AbstractMouse Wed 09-Jul-08 19:20:48

I agree for me btw, doesn't really concern me if someone wants to have 13 kids or whatever.

scottishmum007 Wed 09-Jul-08 19:21:19

as someone once said to me once you have a boy and girl, there's nothing else you can have after that. you only get the two different genders.

Pruners Wed 09-Jul-08 19:23:24

Message withdrawn

mrschop Wed 09-Jul-08 19:26:43

I really don't agree with that, each child is very different and each arrival completely changes the family unit that they arrive into.

mrschop Wed 09-Jul-08 19:27:15

My comment was to scottish mummy, not pruners!

WorzselMummage Wed 09-Jul-08 19:28:33

i was juat going to say the exact same thing.

As a woman SUFFERING from secondary infertility and from all the women ( and men ) in the same situation i'd like to tell the Op to FUCK OFF.

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