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dh not warning me when bringing strangers over

(21 Posts)
elmoandella Wed 09-Jul-08 15:43:38

ok, when i say strangers i mean people i've only met in passing at a function.

he's just about to turn up with 2 people in tow. hasn't warned me.i only got any sort of warning as i called to see if he would be home for dinner tonight. the house is a tip as kids took naps at seperate times. ds is insisting on being stuck to me. currently writing this with him on my lap.

he does this all the time.

if its people i knew, i wouldn't grumble.

and to top it all off, one of them doesn't speak english so i'll have to listen to them all talk away in a language i dont understand.

it'll be seen as being rude if i don't fuss around and make tea will they blatently ignore me except to nod in my direction when they arrive.


this happens at least once a month. it'll be some obscure relative of some guy who works in dh shop.

todays is a staff from his shop and his mother who's come to stay from italy.


am i out of order to complain that he doesn't warn me? or even say that it's not on without at least a days notice to tidy house.

i've got a ds who is potty training. so toilet is always minging.

FAQ Wed 09-Jul-08 15:48:07

wouldn't bother me, people take me as I am, whether they're strangers or not.

I presume your DH will have some sort of idea of what state the house could/will be in, so he can't be too bothered by it?

TeeBee Wed 09-Jul-08 15:49:17

YANBU at all. I would throttle my DH if he did this to me.

Rubyrubyruby Wed 09-Jul-08 15:50:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 09-Jul-08 15:52:16

ex used to do this to me, it all came to a head one day when he returned home after a day out with ten friends and expected me to serve up a five course meal..... I poiunted them in the direction of the nearest restaurant

TeeBee Wed 09-Jul-08 15:55:22

But surely elmo deserves a little bit of warning so she can at least put a bit of slap on. I for one like to welcome guests with open arms, give them a good meal and be relaxed enough to have a nice conversation with them. A bit of notice is not too much to ask, even if her DH doesn't mind about a bit of mess and a stinky toilet.

FAQ Wed 09-Jul-08 15:56:41

you can welcome someone with open arms even if they just turn up on the doorstep (IMO)

Anna8888 Wed 09-Jul-08 15:57:50


TeeBee Wed 09-Jul-08 16:03:03

FAQ, take your point, but I like my house to look as though someone has not picked it up and shaken it for half an hour (which it quite often does when we are playing). TBH, I like people to think I'm in control of the place, when clearly I'm not grin

elmoandella Wed 09-Jul-08 16:03:03

dh doesn't like it. he will complain house was a mess.

and he will also expect me to offer food.

i'm in desperate need of a trip to not really even anything i could russle up.

they still not here. he must be stalling as i said i needed to clean and hung up when on phone earlier.

but i'm at the stage where i can't be bothered running around like headless chicken.hence i'm on computer when supposed to be cleaning.i've done the loo. thats as far as i shall go

TeeBee Wed 09-Jul-08 16:04:12

In that case, leave as soon as he gets there, get yourself down the pub and let him sort the whole bloody thing out himself. Cheeky bugger.

FAQ Wed 09-Jul-08 16:06:58

ok - given your last post where you say he will complain the house is a mess.


If he wasn't phased by it then, it would be different,but if he knows what it will mostly likely be like, invites people over short notice and then complains about the mess I would do as TeeBee says - get down the pub once he's home.

beaniesteve Wed 09-Jul-08 16:08:31

"dh doesn't like it. he will complain house was a mess"

well in that case he is being completely unreasonable.

elmoandella Wed 09-Jul-08 16:12:29

i'm very tempted about the pub.don't wanna go on my own like a right saddo.

hiding upsta

elmoandella Wed 09-Jul-08 16:13:56

sorry, thought that was him, was gonna say hiding upstairs would be rude?? i know it would?? or would it? anyone think it would be ok to go soak in a bath since i have no idea what they saying

TeeBee Wed 09-Jul-08 16:14:11

Gym? Very long supermarket trip?

Leave him the number of a good take away. Wifely duty done!

GrapefruitMoon Wed 09-Jul-08 16:16:21

Why not go to the supermarket when he gets back and leave him in charge of the dcs as well as entertaining his friends?

TeeBee Wed 09-Jul-08 16:16:35

It would, that's why you have to go out - on a prior engagement that you totally forgot about.

elmoandella Wed 09-Jul-08 16:19:28

oooh the gym, that'll be good excuse for future. can't think week as had treatment done for something and not allowed to excercise for couple of weeks.

and just got baby out of bed. forgot she was covered in pasta sauce. gotta change her. had no intentions in doing so as no one would see her except me.

aaaaaaahh, more washing too!

sparklesandnowinefor4months Wed 09-Jul-08 16:19:56

YANBU it would annoy me too

do a quick tidy up for the visitors and then go out round a mates house for a coffee if you don't want to go to the pub, or say you have no food in so need to do the shop and just go

But i do think you need to have serious words with him if he does this often but then moans when things aren't tidy enough, tell him you need notice and if he doesn't give it then they can't come!

TeeBee Wed 09-Jul-08 16:30:36

Or feign the fact that a friend is in desperate need of some help, then go and get your shopping done in peace. Then turn up with dessert and a smile. They will see you as a heroine! Then, when they have gone, assert fingernail into DH's eye.

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