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To be REALLY annoyed that my sister is still smoking at 25 weeks pregnant?

(128 Posts)
Mamatastic Wed 09-Jul-08 15:36:05

I am just home from visiting my parents and sister and even though she said she was going to give up she had a packet of 20 in her bag and was outside smoking quite the thing. I said 'I thought you had given up?' to which she replied 'It's fine!' it's not! She doesn't think she is doing the baby any harm even though her midwife said baby is getting the equivalent of 10 fags a day. I asked if she was planning to keep smoking once baby is here and she said 'that will be fine then as I'll go outside' but she then went on a rant re her DP cos he dares smoke in the bathroom inside! I have told her about SIDS etc but it's in one ear and out the other. She honestly does not see a problem with it.

I know how hard it is to quit as I smoked years ago but you would think you would certainly knock it on the head once you were pregnant would you not?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! angry

1973 Wed 09-Jul-08 15:39:15

On the one hand, it's pretty weak and pathetic of her not to have given up when pg.
OTOH, this is HER body, she os not suddenly public property now that she is up the duff and she is not answerable to you or anyone else no matter how much you feel you're right and she's wrong.

ScottishMummy Wed 09-Jul-08 15:44:04

you hit the nail on the head Mamatastic "She honestly does not see a problem with it" thus she will not stop because she does not want to, lacks the volition

lets face it the majority of Pg mums now know smoking is contraindicated in pg
the literature is avail and explicitly tells you give up

so unlikely she will respond well to a telling off or advice to stop

littleboyblue Wed 09-Jul-08 15:57:31

I smoked with ds and am now 9wks pg again and am till smoking about 6 a day, not that that matters, I'm still smoking and it's awful, I feel really shit about it and to say that it's too hard is a complete cop-out I think, so not sure why I'm still doing it. i am fully aware of all the risks, and it's not that I don't love my child/ren because I do more than anything in the world, but.......
I can't even attempt to justify it, it just is.
There is a problem with smoking during pg, and not sure how/why you wouldn't be aware of all the risks.
Not really sure what I'm trying to say here hmm

Imaparenttoo Wed 09-Jul-08 16:10:18

You are not being unreasonable to be annoyed (privately) but what she choses to do with her own body (and babies bodywhile ever she is carrying it) is absolutely nothing to do with you. She does know the risks (because most people know them and pregnant women are certainly told them) but is choosing to ignore them - still none of your business.

kittywise Wed 09-Jul-08 16:12:27

I agree with everyone else!

Lauriefairycake Wed 09-Jul-08 16:21:45

her body, her business

smoking is more difficult to give up than heroin

not unreasonable to be annoyed but hopefully everything will be ok. My parents smoked 40 a day each in the house and my mum smoked all the way through her pregnancy and my lungs are luckily fine.

VictorianSqualor Wed 09-Jul-08 16:39:55

I don't agree 'it's her body' because it's not.
It's her child's body and unfortunately that poor little blighter has no say in what his mother could do to him before he is even bornsad

I doubt anyone would say it was 'her body, her business' if she was drinking vodka or smoking crack.

If she doesn't see a problem maybe you should find some facts and show her exactly what she is doing.

TheHedgeWitch Wed 09-Jul-08 17:06:30

Message withdrawn

babyignoramus Wed 09-Jul-08 17:16:21

Hmm, tricky one. I've known a couple of people who said they'd quit when they got pregnant and were absolutely shocked at themselves when they discovered their maternal instincts simply didn't overcome the addiction. Both of them smoked throughout the pregnancy, although they cut down by a huge amount - we're talking from 20 a day down to a skinny roll up twice a day. Smoking's obviously bad for the baby, but they both knew their stress levels (and therefore BP) would be sky high if they quit altogether which could possibly be worse.

Not justifying anything here -(I'm an ex-smoker myself) - but the problem is that for some people smoking is such a strong addiction. My mum quit once and the GP actually almost put her on prozac!

Litterbug Wed 09-Jul-08 17:17:55

I think its awful and makes me very angry

lucyellensmum Wed 09-Jul-08 17:18:39

Mama, why don't you google some literature or ask your HV for some leaflets. I am DISMAYED by people who smoke around children and whilst pregnant. Yes, its their body, if they want to kill themselves, well its tough, but that little baby doesn't have a choice and that makes me Sad Make her see it is NOT fine, its not just SIDs there is more likely hood of illnesses in later life and miscarriage and other things i can't remember. You wouldnt allow your children to smoke, so dont force passive smoking on them - it doesnt matter if you go outside, it still damages.

lucyellensmum Wed 09-Jul-08 17:19:55

The answer is to ban smoking completely. Im being serious.

Flashman Wed 09-Jul-08 17:31:33

What does smoking do to babies - apart from a lower birth rate? And before I get a volley I am not saying I am for smoking. My sister has found she is pg and was smoking and has quit now - only early but has it done any harm?

lucyellensmum Wed 09-Jul-08 17:44:17

flash, im not sure what smoking does to early embryos but your sister has done the right thing to give up and well done to her for that. Tbh, i dont think at surch an early stage there will be much harm done, probably none at all. Early development is about laying the foundations, later development is about growing and fine tuning, I would be surprised if smoking affects a ball of dividing cells as it is all about getting the genes switched on and working, but once organs begin to develop i wouldnt want to be passing extraneous chemicals over to my baby.

CoteDAzur Wed 09-Jul-08 17:44:21


TheHedgeWitch Wed 09-Jul-08 17:45:42

Message withdrawn

OurHamsterisevil Wed 09-Jul-08 17:46:12

How can she think there is nothing wrong with it. Everybody knows the dangers. As for going outside once the baby is born, well whats the point the damage will be already done.

Miggsie Wed 09-Jul-08 17:47:09

My SIL smoked and drank her way through pregnancy, and now she smokes and drinks more.
She is a selfish bag.
We don't get on.

I know how you feel!
But you can't do anything.

TheHedgeWitch Wed 09-Jul-08 17:47:28

Message withdrawn

lardybump Wed 09-Jul-08 17:50:22

Smoking can also affect the baby’s organs especially the reproductive organs meaning that any baby born to a woman who smoked during pregnancy has a chance of being infertile.

It can also cause respiratory problems for the baby. This in addition to increased risk of miscarriage, premature birth and still birth is more than enough to make anyone give up I should imagine. I know I have....

LittleMissBliss Wed 09-Jul-08 18:24:53

I can't stand seeing pregnant women smoking they are selfish and ignorant.

southeastastra Wed 09-Jul-08 18:29:22

why don't you try to help her quit instead of bleating it out on here

Mamatastic Wed 09-Jul-08 18:34:55

For those who say 'it's her body', she has smoked for years and I've never said anything to her as she is old enough and wise enough to know the dangers to herself while smoking, but the current fact is that she is NOT just abusing her own body but also that of her tiny defenseless baby. That's what I'm annoyed about! And also the fact that she chooses to turn a blind eye to it despite knowing the dangers. It makes me really sad. Also the fact that her fiance smokes tons around her too and in the house. I know she won't change as I've spoken to her about this before but it just makes me angry that she won't even attempt to change her behaviour or even think that there is anything wrong with it.

Mamatastic Wed 09-Jul-08 18:40:05

'why don't you try to help her quit instead of bleating it out on here'

...someone will only quit if they are ready and willing to quit. She has her head totally in the sand. She knows I quit years ago so could discuss it with me and I've discussed her quitting numerous times before but she is just not interested. I have also discussed dangers to baby but again, she keeps saying that 'a few' won't do any harm.

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