Advanced search have lost my rag in a public loo?

(97 Posts)
TheSmallClanger Sun 06-Jul-08 21:45:18

I was shopping in town yesterday while my DD and her friend were at gymnastics, and, as you do, I stopped for a wee in a department store toilet. The loo wasn't overly busy and I walked into a cubicle straight away. There were a couple of kids outside in the actual room bit, not in the cubicles, who I assumed were waiting for their mum to finish. One was a boy of about 7.
While I was in the cubicle, someone started baning on the door quite hard. I assumed it was one of the children messing around and said in my best deep, Scary Adult voice "there's someone in here". However, the banging did not stop and turned to kicking, then turned to the door flying open and me frantically pulling my knickers up. I was shocked more than anything and will admit that I shouted quite loudly at the boy - it was him and he was laughing. I didn't swear, but got pretty cross and said "don't you know how rude that is? You shouldn't try and open toilet doors like that, it's very very rude" with some extras I can't remember added on, in the same vein.
The next thing I knew, the boy's mother came charging out of a cubicle and demanded to know what's going on. I told her, probably not sounding very calm, and hse started yelling at ME not to shout at her child, he was only a little boy, he was only messing around and that I was over-reacting and obviously didn't understand kids!
TBH I just tried to get out of there as quickly as I could - I was with another child (12) who was waiting outside for me and I didn't want her to hear.
So, was I really BU? somethign tells me I wasn't!

OverMyDeadBody Sun 06-Jul-08 21:47:07

no, ywnbu, a 7 yr old should know better.

BetteNoire Sun 06-Jul-08 21:47:15

It's not difficult to work out where the boy gets his attitude from.

mrsruffallo Sun 06-Jul-08 21:49:49


missfib Sun 06-Jul-08 21:50:49

if that was my child they would have got a right smack for acting like that,no wonder a lot of kids end up like they do.

cheesesarnie Sun 06-Jul-08 21:50:56

omg yanbu!

Saymyname Sun 06-Jul-08 21:51:38

YANBU, no way. Horrible little brat!

PeaMcLean Sun 06-Jul-08 21:54:16

And the revolting little kid will never learn any better if his mother keeps defending him. Cross on your behalf.

Sanctuary Sun 06-Jul-08 21:56:04

the mother should be embarrased at her sons behaviour .
My ds is 7 and would never ever do that.
She should of bollocked him big time
Stupid womanangry

blackrock Sun 06-Jul-08 21:56:39

Unfortunately, this is the problem for some kids. His mother excuses him of everything, and he thinks its ok. She will regret it at some point, when it's too late to change it.

2shoes Sun 06-Jul-08 22:04:01

i almost hate to ask this.......but do you think he might have had some kind of sn?

cheesesarnie Sun 06-Jul-08 22:06:37

ahhh possibly 2shoes.

TheSmallClanger Sun 06-Jul-08 22:09:39

No obvious SN, and I know a fair few SN children as well.
Even if he was SN, I don't think his mother should have excused him like that and put the blame for the situation on me. One SN mum I know well always apologises quietly and removes her child from situations like this. Sometimes she will explain, and people normally calm down. (This child doesn't perv at women in toilets though - he prefers making loud animal noises in public and making inappropriate but usually true comments about others).
Thanks to everyone who's convinced me I'm not some sort of violent prude!

KatieDD Sun 06-Jul-08 22:09:41

She probably was embarrased and tried to hide that by turning on you.
SN gets trotted out all time but I bet he was just a little brat that needs taking down a peg or two before it's too late.

KatieDD Sun 06-Jul-08 22:11:00

I used to make rude (but true comments as a child) I didn't have special needs just a big mouth, soon learnt after a couple of clips around the earhole though.

2shoes Sun 06-Jul-08 22:30:34

TheSmallClanger of course all sn is the same. meet one child with sn and you will know all about all of them.
just seemed very strange way for a boy to act9and a boy of 7 in the ladies!!!) so made me wonder.
didn't realise you actually knew him though.

Heated Sun 06-Jul-08 22:40:04

Threads like these make me dream of perfecting the Vulcan death grip or stamping a Defective Stock sign on her forehead

TheSmallClanger Sun 06-Jul-08 22:43:31

I didn't know him. I was not claiming to know everything about SN, just demonstrating that I am aware of how some types can affect behaviour. I would also expect parents of an SN child to act differently, because most people will calm down and make allowances once they know it's not really the child's fault!
Yes, I'd say he was 7. Could have been a tall 6yo I suppose, but I didn't ask, so Im not absolutely positive.

TheSmallClanger Sun 06-Jul-08 22:44:21

Sorry, aimed at 2shoes.

Sanctuary Sun 06-Jul-08 22:49:30

If he has SN I would of thought the mother would of said NOT shouted you down .
Sounds like he was being really naughty
I make my 7 year old ds stand in the ladies when I have to go and I don`t know the place well where I am .I don`t trust him enough not to go off exploring

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Sun 06-Jul-08 22:56:39

ds1 ( 9 severely autistic) goes through phases of trying to look under toilet doors. Actually it's not phases he does it all the time (we use the disabled loo when we can). I would apologise though and obviously I drag him up off the ground and he wouldn't be alone. I have laughed when he's freaked people out in toilets before - but not for something as socially inappropriate as bashing a door in (him shoving his hands under someone else's handdryer- when the social norm would have been to use the empty one next to it springs to mind).

LittlePeanut Sun 06-Jul-08 22:57:44


Can't believe you are being given a hard time for saying that he didn't have any obvious SN, and even if he did have SN then you don't think the mother should have put the blame on to you. That is a completely reasonable observation.

I would be more livid with the mother's reaction than with the boy's actions if it was me. Poor you!

edam Sun 06-Jul-08 22:58:34

That sounds hideous. Bloody woman is probably one of those precious types who has spent her child's entire life perfecting attack as a form of defence. No-one else has ever been allowed to look at him a bit funny, let alone tell him off. So he gets worse, and worse, and worse.

TotalChaos Sun 06-Jul-08 23:34:39

did he manage to kick a locked door in? or did you forget to lock it? I think the mother should have apologised rather than shout at you.

Hecate Mon 07-Jul-08 07:54:25

Even if he HAD sn his mother should not have got nasty! If my kids did that (and they wouldn't because I'd stop them sooner!) I'd apologise. Special needs is not a get out of jail free card. It is an explanation for behaviours, it is not an excuse for a parent to do nothing at all, have a bad attitude and think the world should spin around them.

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