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is this rude or not?

(103 Posts)
MrsSylar Fri 04-Jul-08 21:22:06

Went out for dinner with 3 work colleages the other night. One of them is quite a good friend, the other two I am not as close with, yet we get on very well.

Just before food was served, one of them said " fancy a fag" and all 3 of them got up, went outside and left me sitting there on my own.

Now, I didn't mind too much - I am a grown up and don't need someone to sit with me all the time just, in case I get lonely, but it did strike me as a bit rude.

What do you think? Was it rude, or am I being a bit touchy

Carmenere Fri 04-Jul-08 21:22:53

It is rude

SqueakyPop Fri 04-Jul-08 21:23:06

It's rude

SorenLorensen Fri 04-Jul-08 21:23:18

They're addicts - they can't help themselves (thus speaks this holier-than-thou ex-smoker).

unknownrebelbang Fri 04-Jul-08 21:23:36


Hecate Fri 04-Jul-08 21:23:42

I don't think it's rude. It was just a fag break (so to speak).

WinkyWinkola Fri 04-Jul-08 21:23:51

Yes, it's rude. Of course it is. But a smoker is an addict and like all addicts really only cares about getting that urge seen to.

I used to smoke like a demon. I loved smoking. But this is extremely discourteous behaviour of your colleagues. What would they do if they were with a client? I'd make sure they knew how to behave better.

2shoes Fri 04-Jul-08 21:23:56

it is rude to leave you sitting all on your own. but then one would have had to not have a fag.

lilyloo Fri 04-Jul-08 21:24:10

Yes is rude
my 3 friends smoke but they usually try to alternate going out for a cigarette so as i don't end up sitting their like billy no mates.

windygalestoday Fri 04-Jul-08 21:24:24

rude rude rude even ignorant tbh

PeaMcLean Fri 04-Jul-08 21:24:50

Rude. Didn't they say anything about you being left on your own?

Saymyname Fri 04-Jul-08 21:24:51

Yes it's rude. My friend does this to me all the time when we go out to restaurants just the two of us. As others have said though, she's an addict, that comes before manners.

MrsSylar Fri 04-Jul-08 21:28:13

Yes lilyloo,
had I been in their position I think I would have staggered it so that there wasn't some poor sod sitting on their own looking abandoned.

Pleased however that so many of you think it's rude.Because it is

MsHighwater Fri 04-Jul-08 21:28:34

I presume you would prefer that they go outside to smoke rather than smoke in front of you? If you insist on smokers leaving the building to smoke, it's a bit much to complain when they do just that.

Yes, maybe they could have done rotated but, since there were 3 of them, someone would have been standing outside on their own. At least you were sitting indoors in comfort.

YAB a little bit U

MsHighwater Fri 04-Jul-08 21:29:53

could have rotated

Saymyname Fri 04-Jul-08 21:29:54

Presume the smoking ban is what forced them outside MrsH, not the OP hmm

MrsSylar Fri 04-Jul-08 21:30:36

Yes,PeaMclean, they did say something along the lines of "you don't mind if we go out do you?" this being said as they were out of their chairs and half way towards the door.

PeaMcLean Fri 04-Jul-08 21:30:55

Does MrsSylar insist on people leavin the building though? She hasn't said anything of her opinion of smokers, just that she'd rather not be left on her own. She may be very tolerant.

MrsSylar Fri 04-Jul-08 21:36:35

I deliberately didn't mention my views on smoking as I felt they weren't relevant.I am not cross with them for smoking. In fact I am not really cross with them. They are my friends and I like them. However, your friends can often do things that you wouldn't, and I think in their position I would have felt it bad manners to leave someone sitting on their own.

MsHighwater Fri 04-Jul-08 21:37:04

I am talking about the smoking ban. I am assuming (correct me if I'm wrong, MrsS) that the OP approves of it. If so, I reckon you have to take the rough with the smooth.

Divastrop Fri 04-Jul-08 21:37:29

as a smoker myself,in that same situation i would have declined and not gone for a fag if it meant somebody would have been left on their own.

did they all go to the loo together as well?wink

MrsSylar Fri 04-Jul-08 21:41:47

Ms highwater, I can't see how my views on the smoking ban are relevant. What if I am a heavy smoker who has temporarily given up due to pregnancy? What if I am a passionate anti smoker? My attitudes to smoking have no bearing on their behaviour

littlelapin Fri 04-Jul-08 21:43:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce Fri 04-Jul-08 21:44:42

very rude

FAQ Fri 04-Jul-08 21:44:46

it's rude and I'm a smoker.

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