To be peed off at DH telling me I have let him down a lot by not passing my driving test before now?(40 Posts)
he's got a point but it should have remiained unsaid I think - nothing more annoying than being the only driver in a family
He is not being very nice to you or very supportive by saying this.
TBH it is an extra burden on the driving parent if the other one does not drive - but as you say you need to look at it all in the round anyway.
God luck by the way and well done for getting to this stage and getting through a block about it, hopefully you feel proud of yourself!
Would have been a bit more helpful if your dh told you he felt proud
Agree it's not nice to say.
However being the only driver must be a complete pain in the ass. Always being the 'sober' one on nights out etc
Re the driving - It is hard when there is only one driver. We were in this position until I passed my test the other week (also at the age of 34, spookily enough!)
It really REALLY tied my husband down and tbvh, contributed to our business going under! He isn't quite as, erm, blunt as your dh, but yes, it has been mentioned m any times over the years in more of an "if only you could drive we could do / could have done / wouldn't have ....." way.
But now he's going round telling everyone how proud he is of me, so that's good. I'm sure your dh will be the same.
Now about the other stuff - you tell him he is letting YOU down by leaving you to <insert long list of things only you do> and see how he likes it
Sounds like the tasks are pretty fairly allocated - he earns the money and does a little bit of the home and child stuff, you do the lions share of the home and child stuff. He just needs to recognise that it is more a fair division of labour than he thinks!
oh, it was a long time ago! All done and dusted now. <sobs> I only used it to show you I've been where you are and I understand.
When you pass - and you WILL pass! He will be very very proud of you. And you will feel GREAT! I always thought I couldn't do it but I've had my own car now for a week and I've barely been in the house! I feel really confident when I'm driving. It's given me a real boost and I'm sure it'll do the same for you!
HAHAHAHAHAHA - while typing this I've just had this convo with dh..
him "have we got any onions?"
me "only frozen ones."
him "where are they?"
me "Where the hell do you THINK frozen onions are going to be!!!!!"
Sorry, just so funny I had to share!!
I passed my test when I was 34 too!
Driving test was a lot easier than I'd expected. The time really, really races past and it feels like you're in the car for 5 minutes. I was very chatty to my test-bloke, and he let me off speeding twice (! assumed that was an automatic fail), and only made me do a 3-point-turn, and no emergency stop.
DH only mentioned it on holiday -- "I wish you drove so we could share the driving".
Will your DH be buying you a car when you passed, to make his life easier?
Mine would be singing soprano by now if he'd made a comment like that to me!
On the other hand, that's the sort of comment my EX-husband would come out with.
Oh, I forgot to say that when I passed, the first thing dh said to me (after congrats!) was that now I could drop him at the pub and pick him up I put him straight.
I suppose we're unusual in the fact that neither of us drive + we have 2 dc's. However, that does mean that we're both able to have a drink when we go out, (we always taxi back), + during the day we bus, taxi + cycle everywhere.
To be honest, I suppose there are more difficulties if only one of you drives, than if you're both public transport users.
Good luck with your test!
He did'nt need to say that, he could have jsut said he was pleased when you passed. My DH gave me an ultimatum - no DC 3 'til I passed my test! Ipassed ( at sixth go) aged 35 and was pregnant two weeks later! It is very useful being able to drive esp. as DH now no longer works from home but i am still a reluctant driver and hate motorway slip roads.
This is what you have to expect if you become a housewife. It's a dated awful life model. Get back to full time work and all will be well.
I can't drive and will never be able to (poor eyesight). But fortunately dh doesn't have a car so not much chance of scoring off me. Besides, there was that little matter of his taking 4 attempts to pass his test...
He is now a very reliable driver, but I do remember the first time we hurtled down the motorway as a family, and the small hopeful voice coming from the backseat:
-I've never been in a car crash before.
My ds does know how to impart confidence .
There was also that other early outing when we pulled up beside our house and ds remarked in surprised tones:
-And in the end... nobody died.
I think that was a bit rude tbh. I cant drive yet but I still manage to get around and do all the house stuff like you. Two mornings a week is ridiculous to complain about. If you go out together taxi's are the answer then you can both have a drink. I dont see that there is a major problem that you cant drive though it might make your life easier, shopping etc. If you pass your test it means that he'll pile more responsibility on you. Why cant he just find some pleasure in being the one that has that time with your lo? His child as well.
I am 34 and don't drive. I have had lessons on and off over the years but something always seemed to happen to stop me from carrying on.... couldn't afford because had to pay for the wedding, getting pregnant, getting pregnant again, and again and then not being able to fit lessons in with DHs shifts and having the kids at home.
Now they are all at school I really want to pass my test but lessons are so expensive. It would make my life much easier if I drove especially because the kids have started to do more activities but I still get them there it just takes a little longer.
If my DH had said that to me I'd never have to worry about contaception again
Xenia logic: women shoudl all work full time and the problems of the universe will be solved....take with pinch of intergalactic salt...
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