To be annoyed that my adopted brother MET with my biological sister PART2

(26 Posts)
knockedgymnast Thu 12-Jun-08 13:21:00

To cut a long story short, my adopted brother and bio sister finally met. When I confronted her about it (I left a voice message on her mobile as she was not answering her phone) she left me a message on facebook telling me that she knows what she did was wrong and she wont do it again BUT that she wants nothing more to do with me and not to get in touch her. Suprisingly, my adopted brother has kept a very low profile and haven't heard a thing

poorbuthappy Thu 12-Jun-08 13:23:27

WTF?
I read your previous thread, but didn't post simply because I no experience in this type of thing...I still don't but feel I should say again...

WTF?
Has she got you on ignore on facebook?

Keep trying brother...

sorry can't be of more help
x

knockedgymnast Thu 12-Jun-08 13:28:20

She has "wiped" me off her friends list on facebook. Even though she admitted she was in the wrong, it's the fact that she said she will never speak to me again and not to contact her. huh?

MsDemeanor Thu 12-Jun-08 13:31:24

If you want people to reply you do at least have to link to another thread or explain yourself. This makes no sense at all on its own.

madamez Thu 12-Jun-08 13:35:20

I have read the previous thread too and I think there is something very wierd going on here. I am beginning to wonder if you are not the one behaving a bit strangely - if you are coming across to your sister as needy and desperate, and making demands on her as to who she sees and when, she may well want nothing to do with you.
Having reread your previous OP, I note that you are not in close contact with either your other sisters or your brother, which really does suggest that there is something in your behaviour which is making them back off - unless it's your brother who is the psycho and for some reason he is determined to prevent contact between you and your sisters.

lulumama Thu 12-Jun-08 13:36:44

why shouldn;t they have met?

can we have a quick recap?

Carmenere Thu 12-Jun-08 13:38:11

I wonder what your brother said or did to her?

knockedgymnast Thu 12-Jun-08 13:38:48

msdemeanor, sorry I sent a thread yesterday.

ComeOVeneer Thu 12-Jun-08 13:43:01

I am a bit confused about the situation. You have 1 biological sister who lives with another of your sisters? Is that one biological? Plus another 2 sisters (again biological?) and you hab=ven't met them either. Are they related to the first 2?

Then you have a foster brother. Is he fostered into your family or where you fostered into his family? You said you made contact with your sister last Sept , how/why did he get in contact with her? WHat was there reasons for meeting up, did either of them say?

Whole thing seems odd.

knockedgymnast Thu 12-Jun-08 13:45:22

madamez, none of us sisters have met each other. There's a lot more to it. My adopted brother and I are really close and it's not a case of I am needy. I have tried really hard to arrange to meet up with her but looking back it has been excuse after excuse. We used to be in touch all the time and when I wasn't available to talk to her, she would tell me that I was ignorant.

Lulumama, I have never met my bio sisters and was looking forward to meeting them. There was always some excuse but now she has met up with my bio brother.

I couldn't tell you why us sisters have not met (there are four of us). A lot of it has to do with the fact that we were adopted all over the country and not in close proximity.

lulumama Thu 12-Jun-08 13:46:43

perhaps, with the best will in the world, she does not want to meet you? you cannot force these things, no matter how distressing, i am sorry though.

ComeOVeneer Thu 12-Jun-08 13:46:43

Your "bio" brother? Now I am even more confused!

lulumama Thu 12-Jun-08 13:48:43

thread from yesterday

my brain hurts reading this

knockedgymnast Thu 12-Jun-08 13:52:09

Cameoveneer, sorry I'm not very clear. I have four bio sisters. Two of whom live together in London. My ado brother grew up with me. He now lives in London but I have until recently, had regular contact with him. I have heard nothing from her for a month or so, was worried to be honest. I then get an email from my ado brother saying that he was meeting up with her. It peed me off because I haven't had a chance to meet her yet. I know I sound like a spoilt brat. It's just hurtful

ComeOVeneer Thu 12-Jun-08 13:55:19

Did you give your brother her details, did he search for her? I am curious as to how the 2 of them got in contact with each other.

barnstaple Thu 12-Jun-08 13:56:05

I queried you yesterday and then apologised. I'm afraid I'm querying you again today. I really don't understand what your problem is. Why did you confront her? What was there to confront her about? She hasn't done anything wrong.

I'm afraid that if I found I had a sister who made a fuss if I met up with a brother before I met up with her I would wipe her off my facebook friends too. You have no reason (or right) to try to control who she does or doesn't meet up with.

RTKangaMummy Thu 12-Jun-08 13:59:11

Right so you have:

A B C D who are biological sisers with same mother and/or father as you

you were adopted and your bro from adpopted family have met A B C D but you haven't met any of them

MarmadukeScarlet Thu 12-Jun-08 14:00:50

I do think it is a little insensitive of your faster/adoptive brother to see your sister without you and before you.

knockedgymnast Thu 12-Jun-08 14:10:47

My head is also hurting typing this. I know it's confusing. I told my ado brother nine months ago that I was in touch with two of my sisters. A couple of months ago, I introduced her to facebook so that I could send her some pictures of our late mother, whom none of us met. We all have different fathers(?!!). Anyway my ado brother said that he had sent her a message on facebook and it was left at that. It was only until yesterday that he told me he was going to see her. I haven't met any of my sisters, it's all strange and all weird

ComeOVeneer Thu 12-Jun-08 14:16:52

Hold on you said "It was only until yesterday that he told me he was going to see her". But I thought you had made an arrangement (that he then cancelled) that all 4 of you where going to meet up?

ComeOVeneer Thu 12-Jun-08 14:18:24

And earlier you said "None of us sisters have met each other". Yet you have said 2 of the sisters live together!?!?!

Greyriverside Thu 12-Jun-08 14:21:03

To be honest I don't see what it has to do with you? You told him how to contact her. He did and eventually got around to seeing her. In the meantime you didn't get around to it even though a year has passed. is that right?

I don't know why she has now said she wants nothing to do with you, but if she knows you think you have the right to decide who she meets that could be the reason.

On MN I see a lot of threads saying that 'some relative shouldn't have done this or that without consulting me' In fact no one has any 'rights' over what their relatives do. At most you could say "it would have been nicer if"

MKG Thu 12-Jun-08 14:54:30

OK let's see if I can get this straight.

You have foster brother.

There are four sisters that haven't all met each other, but two live together.

Foster brother meets one of the sisters.

You get angry.

OK my questions are?

What business does your brother have in this?
If you know where she lives why don't you just go see her?

tess321 Fri 13-Jun-08 19:31:27

Perhaps your brother fancied her, shagged her and it all went tits up. Or your brother came across as a bit of a weirdo to her and made her think that you would be too.

Sounds like she believes that you havent made enough of an effort with her so she's decided not to bother with you. If she was adopted too then she'd be vunerable to feelings of rejection as you know.

annh Fri 13-Jun-08 20:12:09

KG, in your message of 13.45 you described your brother as your "bio" brother but I thought he was adopted? I'm also confused about the four sisters who have never met and live far apart but two of whom you also say live together?! How did your brother (adopted/biological/whatever) get in touch with this sister in the first place?

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